A Very Cheesy Race Update

Previously on the Amazing Race...

6 teams remain...Gary and Mallory hit YET ANOTHER non elimination leg. Which makes 15 non elimination legs I believe. They face a lame azz speedbump this week.

Salzburg. Villa Trappe. Make your way to Licktenstein, which is a country apparently. Caution, double Uturn is ahead.

Train to THE COUNTRY TO Licktenstein. The globes and the sistas are flirting. Have I mentioned I love love love the train?? Boarder crossing at Shumwa or something like that. Gary and Mallory get a lame cab driver.

Roadblock. Using a motorized bicycle, a map and a measurer things, they have to measure the total length of the country. If you get it wrong, you have to do it again. Christ, my globes are gonna suck at this. This bike thing looks really dangerous.

Mallory "very quickly, fast fast fast please". Repeat this about 20 friggin annoying times. Speed bump. They need to calculate the proper ratio of gas to oil to run the bike thingy. 25 parts gas to 1 part of oil. They made it sound worse than it was. Took maybe 2 minutes. Remember the shave your head speedbump a couple years ago??

Rut Ro, the Sistas map just flew out of her pocket. Freak girl can't read a map. Justin gets it right first. Sista hears him, checks with him and she gets it right too. Jet comes up with the wrong number and has to go back and do it again.

Bus/train to the Alps. Zermat, Switzerland. Which is also a country I believe. Another beautiful European train!!!

Wow, the sistas and Zev/Justin just told flight time the answer. Flight time tells Gary too. Wow, freak girl got it right on her own!! Jet gets it right the second time.

Detour. Zermat is a ski town for rich people. Cheese fondue or Wheeze. Eat a big pot of fondue or deliver 20 pieces of luggage from at least 5 hotels. Oh, I would PAY BIG MONEY to eat the cheese.

Sistas and Zevstin chose cheese. Sista "I'm not gonna be able to poop for a while". Sistas switch to the other task. Zevstin are still eating but debating. Zev powers through the cheese! Zev is not very fondue of the fondue. I love Zev.

Globes go for luggage. As do Gary/Mallory. Freaks are doing luggage too and bitching. He's like a little girl. There's a certain number of hotels they have to hit. And, I'm not sure the freaks are doing it right.

"C'mon Dad... C'mon Dad...C'mon Dad". God she is annoying.

Zevstin are dying finishing the cheese. Justin pukes. Zev looks like he's in a cheese coma. LOL. I could have eaten that in half the time. Gimme a spoon!!

Cowboys just show up and do the luggage. Zevstin finish! It took almost an hour. Next clue is to some fountain at Iderbautenbrunen. Or something like that. LOL. Zev is liking the goats. They chose to not uturn anyone. Travel to the Pitt Stop via an electric taxi. Sistas do not uturn.

Zevstin are team #1!! They keep making fondue jokes. They win a trip to the...somewhere warm. Sistas team 2.

Freaks finish. His candy ass is too tired to walk back so he sits in the luggage cart and she pulls him. Globes screw up one piece of luggage. Shit, they are also missing 2 tags.

Freaks don't uturn anyone. It's down to the cowboys and the globes... Freaks are team 3. Gallory are team 4. Little love fest between her and Phil. It's a foot race between cowboys and the globes. The globes uturn the cowboys. They eat the cheese and then are eliminated.

Bye bye Brokebacks. You will be missed.