Survivor: Extortion is Not Illegal

So last week at Tribal Jeremy used his idol and apparently did leave tribal.  Not sure how I missed that!  He's the only one back at camp and is happy with his execution of the idol.  Everyone slowly arrives back at camp except Tyson.  Tony is all what happened??  I thought we had a plan!  

Ben, Sophie, Sarah, Nick and Tony are miffed that Jeremy left and took their target away.  It was a crazy tribal but they decide to stick with the plan and again go after Jeremy.  

Jeremy tells Ben he is on the chopping block.  Ben says basically YUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!  He tells Jeremy that his is a big risk. Jeremy says he wanted Tyson to stay because he was his shield.  This whole "keep someone that's more of a target than I am" thing seems like it has a constant ability to bite one on the ass.  

Michelle says to Kim, this is a mess!!!  It's chaotic and we can't keep playing like this.  Michelle, Kim, Jeremy and Denise are all commiserating about being on the bottom. 

Tony, who is playing a much different less manic, game is being pensive.  In the past he could never find any idols so now that no one is watching him 24/7 he decides to go out  Idol shopping.  Nick also goes out and shows up near Tony cramping his style.  Tony sends him to the water well, where he has already looked, to check for an idol.  "Lookin, lookin, lookin, and as happens EVERY FLIPPING TIME he finds an idol.  

Meanwhile Sarah is working on her social game, creating her own clothing line and having everyone model them in a "fashion show".  Tony realizes that they play different games and Sarah really kills the social game.  Tony decides to do "undercover work" because he never gets to do that in real life.  He tells Jeremy some story that everyone was telling him to vote for Sophie.  He tells Kim he's working with her too.  Jeremy and Michelle discuss whether or not they want to work with Tony and decide yes.  They believe they now have 5 with Michelle, Jeremy, Kim, Denise and now Tony.  

On edge, Tyson and Yul talk about how some people can handle it and some can't and I'm all excited that Adam is going to drop out and relieve my anxiety about those alternates but, nope.  Natalie and Parv are out doing something and they find a note in a bottle with a message:

Goal was so clear to be crowned best of the best but with my fire gone its now a difficult test.  Yet I'll crawl if I must, there's no way I'll rest for to lie down now would be the end of my quest.  

They decide not to tell anyone and start looking, climbing all the way up to the top of the "mountain".  Once there they re read the message and realize it's under the bed which is a problem because there is always some one there.  They strategize and then decide Natalie will stay back when everyone goes to look at the sunset. She finds the tiny scroll and they read that it's an extortion advantage which allows THEN to extort someone for fire tokens.  They can chose a player and block him/her from both competing in the immunity challenge and voting at tribal.  They decide to use it on Tony for money and also because they know he would never give up an opportunity to vote at tribal.  

Tony gets the note and is OVER THE MOON!! He's so excited that HE gets to do a little extortion since he's usually on the other side of the law.  He keeps reading an is so into it! IS THIS ILLEGAL MAN!! He CAN'T WAIT TO USE IT!!. And then he finally reads the part about it being used AGAINST him for 6 fire tokens and he's WHAT???  THIS IS ILLEGAL!!!  LOL!!  6 fire tokens is double what he has and I have been wondering why not ask for a large amount and make someone have to borrow money.  

Tree mail!  And now Tony's time is getting short for deciding what to do.  Tony thinks he'll approach his fake alliance first and tell them if he can't vote it will hurt them.  Michelle tells him she has no fire tokens and concocts a story about having given hers to but an advantage AT EXILE  because she doesn't want him to know she already bought an advantage.  He buys her story.  She tells him Jeremy probably has one token so he asks him.  He says that would be really bad for us so yes I can give you my 1 token.  He has 4 tokens but not enough so he has to go to his "real alliance".  Nick and Ben both give him a token and he has enough to pay the extortion just in time for him to participate in the immunity challenge.  

IC is to stand on a beam balancing a statue with a long pole.  Tony wins immunity and 2 tokens.  He's over the moon how it all worked out, and vows they are going for Jeremy.  

Kim says yay for Tony and 2 in a row puts a target on his back.  She knows he's playing Jeremy but she doesn't have the numbers to do anything.  Only option is to beg.

They're all sitting around the fire and Sophie thinks there has to be more idols floating around.  Denise and Kim talk to Jeremy and say "you tell us".  Jeremy says he knows they are coming for him.  Kim suggests Ben.  Denise says she feels like a double agent but she thinks it's time for Jeremy.  

Jeremy says although he liked Ben at the time, that hat is really starting to bug him (ok, the hat part is me) and Denise and Kim want him to go.  

Tony says that since he's safe it's time for him to blindside someone.  Sophie is too close to Sarah.  He thinks Jeremy and Michelle will go along but he needs Nick but is going to wait until the last minute.  

Nick thinks they all have the numbers to get rid of Jeremy.  If we tell Jeremy, Nick and Michelle that we can save them by voting out Sophie they'll go along.  

At the last minute before Tribal, Tony tells Jeremy that everyone was going to vote for him but if they instead vote Sophie they can save him.  Jeremy is all WHY IS THIS HAPPENING AT THE LAST MINUTE??  Tony says unless you go along everyone is voting for you.  Jeremy says he wants Ben gone and isn't sure if he should trust Tony.  Tony is worried that Jeremy doesn't believe him and Kim and Denise have jumped ship on him.  

Tribal

Sophie says you can never go to tribal thinking you know the plan.

Ben says last time I had no idea and tonight he's again waiting for another bomb to go off.

Jeremy says people are telling half myths and you have to pick through the lies.

Sarah says people are trying to build resumes.  

Nick-says people are also making moves without trying to get credit or blame so that at the end you can do a big surprise! That blindside was mine.  

Sophie says there's also the issue of people having long resumes without quality and a lot of resume padding is going on.

Jeremy says it takes timing,  Last time he did his detective work and had to play his idol last time but he's not comfy today.  

Ben says it's been really quiet around him all day.

Michelle says that she was also told one plan and agreed to it so she's nervous she's out of the loop

Tony says it's a simple plan tonight because everyone was exhausted  from last time and just want a quiet easy night,

Sarah says something about it being psychological warfare and everyone being smart enough to figure it out.  A blindside is a sense of pride.  

Time to vote.  Any idols?  Nope.

Jeremy 3

Michelle 2

And Sophie is gone with an idol in her pocket!

Ben: BOOM!

Survivor: Family Vacation

Good afternoon and welcome to Survivor Quarantine!  Any one else notice I am WAY MORE compliant in getting these out every week when trapped in a house with a husband and 2 pain in the ASS dogs?  

This will be a short update because frankly I stopped taking notes with all of this family shit.  Couple of thought bubbles though:

1) Is CBS really that fucking cheap that they had to get Fiji Airlines to fly the families to Fiji??  C'mon.  40 seasons of possibly the cheapest show to film and edit and they need a bailout too??  

2) Did anyone else notice how COMPLETELY UNINTERESTED these kids were at seeing their moms or dads?  What the hell?  Were they all completely jet lagged by that shitty Fiji Airlines low budget back of the plane flight or was CBS unable to get corporate sponsors for them to also eat, shower and sleep?  I kept wondering if there were, as normal, 100 production members standing off screen holding up hand puppets.  Maybe Jeff Probst really a nasty mean asshole and all the children were afraid of him?  Hmmmmm.  

3) Most of my reaction to these family situations are along these lines: DO NOT KISS ME UNTIL YOU HAVE BRUSHED YOUR DAMN TEETH.  It's disgusting to me!!  

4) And most importantly, whose agent got this familyvisit for EVERYONE written into the contract?  Someone should give that man (or woman) a bonus!

Total waste of 20 minutes.  So after all of this crap Jeff says the challenge will be for all the adults and teens to swim way out to the ocean leaving the children on the beach with him.  Naaaaah, I was just kidding (and the producers didn't accept my challenge idea).  So it's back to the beach FOR EVERYONE, including the losers at Exile!  

Anyone else curious if the kids and grandma have to shit in the ocean like we are supposed to believe the players do?  Yea, you KNOW that's bullshit especially this "celebrity" season and that there is always a group of porta potties right behind the tree line- and the fancy ones with running water like the ones those annoying couples who want to be married in ridiculously inappropriate "natural" settings are forced by their parents to rent because "what about grandma's colitis??"  

Back to the game with a challenge for immunity and  2 fire tokens.  The challenge is that wobbly table held up by a rope one where the survivors have to go back and forth trying to spell IMMUNITY with blocks.  My husband immediately says "I'd be fucked by the spelling part of that challenge".  I'm like, "you'd be fucked by the complete inability to fix any wobbly table in this house" part of that challenge.  

Tony wins his first challenge in 3 seasons and is NYC proud!  Strutting around saying "slow and steady is not what I'm made of!"  They return to camp and "when you have the power people come to you".  

Jeremy talks to Tony and wants Sarah out.  He says he is all alone and thinks Sarah and Sophie are too close.  Tony is all NOPE.

Sarah talks to Tony and says Kim is dangerous.  Tony suggests Tyson.  Sarah thinks talking to Tony is like talking to a rock (correct, and also proves what 25 years of TV detective shows have shown-that women have to be so much smarter in everything and especially police work).  She says this is a crucial decision and he isn't listening.  We need to get together!

Tony asks Nick and Ben if they want to vote Jeremy off. 

Jeremy calls Kim over and they agree they have no friends and need to stick together.  With Tyson and Denise and Michelle.  They agree to play to the end.  Kim tells him she has an idol, and they decide to vote out Sarah.  

Ben, Tony, Nick and Sarah decide Jeremy.  Sophie considers using the steal a vote advantage.  Says tonight is WAR!

Tribal

Nick says it finally feels like they are playin' the game

Aaaand the whispering and talking begins again....

Tony says he is glad he has the necklace tonight!

Sophie says the whispering could go on all night.

Jeff asks Kim what triggers the whispering and she says you can never know what is going on and it triggers people's paranoia and the need to keep checking if the plan is the plan.

Jeremy says this season is like everyone's season but on steroids

Time to vote?  Jeremy and Sarah both start to say something and then are both "you go ahead.,,,,no your go ahead"...  Then they are both quiet,  Jeff says Let's Vote!  And they both start to talk again.  Jeremy uses his skip a vote advantage-he can't be voted off but he also can't vote.  He also leave tribal but didn't.  

Which starts the scramble again.  Sophie says "hey guys, why don't all 5 of us go over here and make a decision?  

Time to vote now?  Sarah uses her steal a vote and takes Denise's vote.  

Time to vote now?  Yes. But afterwards Kim plays her idol for Denise.  

Denise gets 2, does not count.

Sarah gets 2

Tyson gets 4 and is off again to Exile.  

Kim is bummed because she almost used her idol for him!  

Survivor: Children at Waaaar!

Welcome back to the Survivor weekly update!  Hope you are all doing well and are keeping yourself busy.  After all, as the bible says, idol hands lead to dead husbands/wives.  

Michelle is PISSED OFF.  She was left in the dark about Wendell going to exile.  Yes, she wanted her former lover (or as he called it, we just kickin it) voted off but she is still PISSED they didn't trust her.  She and Nick go all I HATE THESE PEOPLE!!  Nick says, ME TOOOOO AND I'M NEXT!!  He says he's gonna LET THEM HAVE IT AND GET ON THE BLOOD TRAIN.  Which frankly always goes down better when you're not wearing a Brooks Brothers navy blazer.  Tony tries to talk him down and be the voice of reason but Nick is all OUT FOR REVENGE.  

Michelle talks to the other social outcast, Adam.  He says tribal was really scary for him but he's still there.  Michelle says that THEY ARE ALL DINGBATS.  Adam says that it might be an opportunity and tells her he noticed there was a fleur de lis on the podium, which is the same symbol that was on the idol he saw and he thinks it might be a REAL idol (he also thinks he might be a REAL BOY), and ho boy wouldn't that be an epic way to save himself!  Note:  The Fleur De Lis is also the symbol of the New Orleans Saints but that too is just a coincidence and the NO Saints do not provide immunity.  

Over on Edge it's yoga on the beach time.  Fun!!  Who wouldn't want to spend a month on a yoga retreat relaxing on the beach!  Yul finds a box with little scrolls for everyone that has a clue;  Step back and assess, sometimes when history repeats itself it can lead to success.  And then everyone runs around looking for fire tokens.  People run up the "mountain" to look, and then Natalie decides they should split up because whatever it is can be spent on FOOD and she doesn't want the newbies Yul or Wendell to get any more food.  Parv and Danni go off by themselves and Danni remembers from a former season Aubry looking up the steps and seeing a cave with the idol.  They rush down and find the clue.  It's a coin flip that they can sell to anybody for an amount they chose.  They decide Michelle has the most fire tokens and decide to sell it to her for 4 tokens.  The rest of their gang finds them and they admit they have the clue and now they'll have to split the peanut butter with 6 other dirty poop under the fingernails hands.  Yea, no thanks!!

Reward Challenge:  2 teams of 5, one person sits out and has no chance.  Swim out to a net with fish on it, take the fish off of the net and hang it on a long fishing pole, Carry the pole to the puzzle station and do the puzzle.  Wanna know?  Chinese take out.  So, fake American-Chinese food flown thousands of miles to Asia.  Yum!!  They don't even try to bring in the culture of the places they are inhabiting anymore.  

2 teams:  Red: Tyson, Adam, Tony, Nick and Jeremy vs Blue: Kim, Sandra, Ben, Sarah, Michelle.   Denise isn't picked.  Bottom line, Blue wins the reward.  Sarah asks if she can give her spot to Nick.  She claims she was just being a decent human being because it was his birthday the day before.  

Back at camp everyone claims it was a huge mistake.  Adam says it puts a target on her back and Tony pulls her aside to tell her it was a stupid decision because she 'got caught up in the moment"  and being human on Survivor could cost you the game.  

Jeremy, Adam and Denise agree it was TOTAL GAME PLAY.  Jeremy thinks she should go because of it.  

The winners eat their cold greasy leftovers and open all of the fortune cookies looking for clues.  Michelle gets one that says "don't be afraid to take the step".  Michelle them returns to camp and finds the 50/50 coin in her bag and has to decide whether it's worth all of her fire tokens.  She throws it a few times to "test it" (lol) and decides to buy it.  

Immunity Challenge:  It's the stand on the floating triangle/dog house thingy challenge.  And about half way through we are introduced to the new smash hit theme song, WINNERS AT WAAAAAR.  Kim wins the challenge and has immunity.  

Kim says it's an EASY vote split between Nick and Adam as long as the big group STICKS TOGETHER.  And then the proverbial shit is thrown directly into the fan.  

Everyone is running around crazy.  Nick tells Tyson that Sophie is throwing his name out there.  Jeremy and Tyson confer and decide Adam.  or Sophie....or maybe SARAH.  They tell Michelle it's Sarah and she's1000% in.  

Denise tells Kim it's now maybe Sarah.  

Kim tells Tyson she doesn't want Sarah.  Tyson tells her Adam is the one pushing Sarah, and he's more dangerous.  

Michelle tells Tyson they've changed to Adam.  Jeremy is like WHAT THE HELL?

Tyson tells Tony that Adam was pushing Sarah.  Tony says that's a big mistake, brother, and he'll learn.

Ben confronts Adam and asks him who said he and Sarah were too close.  Adam says, presidentially, "a lot of people say that".  Ben demands, DID YOU SAY THAT??  Adam is all hum um hum um and Ben walks away.  Adam says what does it matter?  And Ben says it matters to him and he keeps walking away.

(JESUS THIS IS LIKE BLOGGING A DAY IN PRESCHOOL)

Adam is now mad because Ben talks to him like he's a child and he plays just the same as Rob.  He's PISSED OFF NOW.

Nick ask Jeremy if his name is out there and Jeremy says yes.

Ben tells Tony that Michelle told me you said me.  Ben is like an old woman.  

Tyson and Michelle are still saying Sarah.

Everyone is all WHO ARE WE VOTING FOR???  

Adam decides he has to go for that podium idol.  

Tribal

Whew.  And just when I thought the whole WHO ARE WE VOTING FOR thing was over it's just beginning....

Sarah says this has been a cagey game with lots of blindsides but it's not cagey anymore!  She says names are flying everywhere and it's now a save yourself solo game.

Tyson agrees that everyone was running around

Jeremy ways it was like a fire on one side of a highway and then WOOSH it jumps the highway and the wind picks it up.  He says he's never seen anything like it.

Nick says there are the easy votes being thrown around,him. Tyson and Adam.  And then there were other names.  He says he's tired of not being treated like a player and he's ready to join someone (and then people just start talking to each other)

And in the middle of everyone talking Ben and Adam get into it.  Ben says this is just like camp all over again.  

Adam says Ben wouldn't talk to him.  Ben says he asked him a question and he refused to answer.  Adam says he wasn't going to throw someone under the bus. 

The jury discuss how paranoid Ben is

Adam says he's had Ben's back and Ben asks HAVE YOU??

Adam asks why people keep voting for him, suggests Ben is telling people to vote for him.  

Ben says Adam creates chaos.  Asks Adam how many times he's had to say "sorry" to people

Adam says he's being a player but if he thinks someone is coming after him...

Ben brings up the tribal when they blindsided Rob

Adam says he's doing what he has to do .  

I'm wondering if we can vote BOTH OF THESE PUSSIES OFF

Adam asks the group WHO ARE YOU ALL WRITING DOWN??

Tony says we already told you

Adam WHO ARE YOU ALL VOTING FOR??

Tony says "should we just say it now?  We go up to the little room. we write down a name, we vote and Jeff reads the vote"

Adam says I'M CONCERNED IT'S MEEEEE..... (Shit if it wasn't before it should be now...)

Jeff says, so Nick, that all felt like war...

Nick says yea but now I trust my place better...

Adam says but if he thinks that way NOW I'M WORRIED IT'S MEEEEEEEEE.  IS IT MEEEEE??

Dead

Silence.

Time to vote!  Any idols?  Adam gets up and tries to pull the fleur de lis off of the Jeff-stand.  It doesn't move.  He says I guess it's not an idol.  Jeff says, "You're convinced it's not??"  Adam gets all excited and says I WANT TO PLAY THAT PIECE OF DECORATION.  Jeff says that would be historic if that was an idol.  That...is.....NOT AN IDOL.  LOL!!!

Sarah gets 1 vote, Nick gets one and Adam is off to exile!  He gives Denise his token and says "screw you" to the rest.  

Survivor Merge Week!

Happy Wednesday and welcome to the MERGE WEEK UPDATE, when WE START REALLY REALLY PLAYING SURVIVOR!  Hey, anyone know how they are going to handle the finale??  More locked down than the last one I guess because the virus is way worse than just having s sexual predator hanging around.  

So we start this MERGE WEEK at the Edge and it's RETURN CHALLENGE DAY.  Everyone is using their fire tokens to buy advantages and I swear Natalie says something about buying immunity but no idea what that means.  Amber gives her tokens to Rob.  

At the challenge all of the remaining players WHO ARE NEW SCHOOL come in.  Drop your buffs!  Ben repeats, just to grate on my already bad nerves that "this is where the battle begins".  GRRRR.  

C'mon in Exile!  All of the OLD SCHOOL players hobble in and we have a bunch of blah blah blah shit about how hard it has been to stick it out.  Yea, talk to Natalie who has been there from day 1.  Jeff asks Rob if it's friggin romantic being on exile with Amber, which says a whole hell of a lot about Jeff's views on being romantic.  Trust me, that Pottstown Motel  experience told ME that.....  Rob says wtf dude, no it's terrible and my poor wife got sent here because of me.  Seriously, show of hands, how many of you still think being exiled in the luxury of your home with your spouse is "romantic"??  

So the battle to get back in involves an obstacle course, that whole make a long stick and get a key thing, digging up sandbags and finally the ol snake vertical snake puzzle.  The advantage they bought means their sandbags are laying on top of the sand, not buried.  I think only Parv, Yul, Amber and Danni don't have the advantage.  It's close and in the end it comes down to Rob and Tyson, and Tyson manages to win, complements to Jiff peanut butter!  Everyone goes back to Edge where they will wait one more chance to return and will also now become the first 7 members of the jury further screwing up my Alternate player scenario.  

Back at the merged camp there is a new menu of fire token prices and they have gone way up.  Tony only has one so he is very happy that the merge feast is free.  Sarah says the lines are now all blurred.  She asks what happened to Sandra and Denise tells her the story of the idols.  Sophie says it was like an old guy in a bar telling a war story of being the queen slayer, and that now Denise has a resume.  

Tyson says he is the only old school person, and he wonders if the young schoolers have changed the game too much for him to compete.  Says he'd get rid of himself on day 1. 

Adam is happy to have real shelter.  Wendell says he has Nick and MIchelle in his corner but he needs more numbers.He approaches Jeremy who says he is outside the game again.  They both agree that Sophie and Denise are really playing the game.  Jeremy wants to work with Wendell but not with Nick.  He wants to be Wendells's #1.  

Tyson tells Ben that he tried too hard earlier.  They agree on a strategy of Tyson, Ben, Jeremy and Tony.  Ben says the game is about big threats and little threats.  He says that having Jeremy and Tony is music to his ears.  He says "now it's time to get rid of all of the sleepers" and Tyson says that's music to his ears.  

It's raining and everyone is miserable.  Tyson, Nick and Wendell talk and Tyson says he's heard it's Denise.  Wendell says he wants to vote off people playing a winners game.  

Challenge: It's cold and wet and the girls are shivering in their bathing suits, which is strange because when we do the challenge they have all changed into their clothes.  Maybe they were keeping them dry.  Or the little Asian Survivor laundry lady was slow today with her delivery. 

Its the pole hug.  One man and one woman will get immunity and a fire token.  Denise and Jeremy win.  Saving Denise's ass,  

Jeremy says his plan is to get rid of Wendell's current BFF Nick so he can be his new BFF, but he doesn't want anyone to know that he organized it.  Ben, Tyson and Jeremy talk and Ben suggests Nick.  Tyson says he wants to get rid of the "lower people" to shield his ass and Ben says that Nick is getting on everyone's nerves.  

Jeremy suggests to Nick that it's Adam.  Ben tells a big group that it's between Nick or Wendell.  Sophie says she prefers Wendell because he and Jeremy are "bro-ing" out.  

Sophie says that the big guys are saying Wendell or Nick but that Jeremy is pushing Nick because he wants to align with Wendell.  Ben tells Jeremy that the group wants Wendell.  Jeremy says that's a BAD DECISION and he doesn't want that.  

Wendell tells Nick that it's Adam.  Jeremy also gets in on it and says "let's just all go Adam".  He then goes around to Sarah, Kim, Tony and Michelle and says "let's do Adam".  

Jeremy talks to Denise and asks Nick or Adam?  She says there is no ripple effect and she can go either way.  Although from day 1 she was in an alliance with Adam she says it may not be a day 31 alliance.  

Sophie talks to Adam and tells him it's not about him.  He says that no one hasn't told him the plan and he's scared.  He's also a pussy but that's for another day...

Tribal

Tyson says the game is now different and he doesn't want to go back to Exile.  He says he has tightened his filter

Sophie says he has come back with less baggage than the rest of them now have.

Tyson now says he has a strategic point of view not a personal one and that the dynamics have changed since the merge. 

Denise says this is a defining vote solidifying relationships, which I think shows how little she understands how fast shit is gonna flip flop to the end.  

Wendell isn't sure if it will be defining but it will tell some things.  He is hoping he has the right ears

Adam says the conversations are really brief and quick.  He wanted longer talks but no one was interested

Nick says that constantly double checking with people makes you look paranoid

Sophie says you have to be OK with not being in every conversation and not being constantly in the loop

Sarah says it takes a while to see if the name you've heard is the name.  

Jeremy says no one wants to throw names out (well, except him) 

Adam still isn't sure what is happening.  

Tony says he's just taking a "as long as it's not me and swimming with the current" attitude.

Vote.  

Any idols?  Nope.  

Adam gets 3 votes and Wendell is out with at least 8 votes.  Nick asks Michelle if she knew and she ways no.  Wendell gives MIchelle and Nick his tokens.  

Survivor: Yul be Sorry!

Welcome to the Survivor blog and boy does it feel weird to do something so ordinary as keep up with the update!  Just curious, anyone interested in a live zoom discussion of the season so far?  I'd be happy to use my mad new skilz and set it up!

We begin in Exile with all the famous gang together.  Parv is telling her pity story about her against one with no one to help her.  Pretty soon she'll blame her child for taking away her only means of game play- sex.   Sandra says she gave Denise her idol and she backstabbed her.  Everyone is all WHY DID YOU TRUST HER??? Parv asks how they are surviving and the group explains they get a little bit of rice every day and Sandra is like, NOPE.  I AM OUTTA HERE!!  I totally don't blame her for not sitting around for another 15 days eating a scoop of rice and doing ridiculous challenges just for a chance to go up against everyone in a physical challenge.  On the way out she exclaims GET DENISE FOR ME!! 

So, Da Queen is officially the first person out and Julia and Lori will now get Alternate 1, Kim.

On Blue Yul says tribal council sucked.  Wendell got into it with Parv and apparently said "make me an offer".  Yul isn't happy.  He talks to Wendell and either Wendell said nothing or it was edited to look like Wendell just sat there.  He does tell Yul, "I appreciate your honestly" which is pretty meaningless.  He also tries to apologize to Michelle who tells him it "created chaos", and they get into it because  he thinks she was "schooling him" in game play.  "Let me play my game".  Yul asks Michelle how her conversation went with him says his went fine.  "He's different with you".  Michelle says she thinks Wendell is convinced she is going to stay true to him but "I don't want to move forward with him".

Exile again.  Ethan is talking to Parv about how hard it is and how depressing to battle every day.  She points out how good it will feel when it's all over and he is done, says he has done worse.  He says that he wonders how his body will react to this level of stress, which is a legit question he should have asked months ago.  Parv says some weird shit about how great fasting is for you, which is some privileged girl shit NO POOR HUNGRY PERSON has ever said.  

They all get notes and they all have to open them together.  Says there are 4 fire tokens hidden and says follow the trails to the end and then look.  Everyone takes off, Rob bolts before people even finish reading.  Tyson thinks he can make up ground to the dead end and ends up with one token.  Nobody every finds the other BECAUSE  friggin Rob hustled his old fat ass up and around and found the other 3.  "I'm the best that's ever played!"

Red:  Everyone is sitting around watching Tony be a clown.  He says he is in a good position, close to Kim and Jeremy.  Says Denise did him a favor taking out Sandra and making herself a high profile target.  Jeremy says that Tony is still the biggest threat, not Denise.  

Jeremy asks Kim how she feels and she says nervous that they don't have a good merge plan.  She says she feels really good with this group, says she likes Tony but really likes Denise and Jeremy.  Says she likes being in charge of her fate. Kim and Denise say they need a plan.  Denise asks her how she feels about their 3 and she says good.  

Green:  The had so much PB&J that they are having leftovers.  But there is real tension.  Sophie says the boys gave no idea that she has an idol in her bag.  The boys meanwhile are "bickering like old ladies".  Adam says he doesn't have the idol and goes off to look for one.  Sarah says she's going to go pretend to look as well.  Adam thinks it's obvious that they are pretending.  He tells Sophie his spidey sense is going off and he thinks Sarah has the idol.   Sarah tells him he can go through her bag if he wants and he says she doesn't have to do that.  Adam ONCE AGAIN realizes he's stepped in shit and has to do more damage control.  

Challenge:  Jeff doesn't even mention Parv and Sandra were voted off.  The challenge is to carry a giant flat dish of water through and obs course, empty it into a vessel to fill the well, repeat as needed and them complete a puzzle.  2 tribes get immunity.  

The green tribe goes REALLLLLLY slowly while everyone else is spilling their water going fast.  It pays off because they only need to do it on time to fill their well.  The end up as the first team to finish.  It's between red and blue and Wendell takes the time to talk smack to the red team, and the challenge comes down to literally half a second, red wins sending them to tribal.  

Yul (and everyone) is mad that Wendell was showboating trash and dug his own grave.  

Back at green, Michelle apologizes for the loss.  Nick says he's mad about Wendell because he was busy talking trash and not doing the puzzle.  

Nick tells Yul they shouldn't be going to tribal.  Says Wendell should go but they're going to say Michelle.  Wendell talks to Michelle- "We together?"  He says Yul is coming after him so they should vote him out. Michelle says she'll do whatever he says.  Wendell is counting on her and Nick.  

Yul tells Michelle it's Wendell.  She says she's pissed about giving him her token and not being able to get it back.  Yul says he has a plan to backstab Wendell AND get her token back.  Nick thinks Yul is getting a bit nuts and siding with him might be dangerous.  Tells Michelle and she agrees.  He asks her if she is open to keeping Wendell and she says yes, if he feels strongly about it .  Michelle says she wants Wendell out for revenge but Yul makes more sense, then she congratulates herself on this most basic level of strategy and says it proves her first win was deserved.  Oh, gurl, you keep telling yourself that.  

Tribal

Jeff is smiling at them

Wendell says what?  It was not the best of days,  We were so close

Jeff asks if it changes the vote because it was so close?  Wendell says no, which is hilarious because he's not the one whose vote would change due to his fuck up

Jeff asks his prodding ISNT THE GAME NOW GREAT questions about how the game has EVOLVED and grown SO MUCH. 

Yul says it's true because he has had to lie so much this time around.  You have to vote someone out BUT make them like you enough to give you their fire tokens.  IT ADDS ANOTHER LAYER JEFF. Then he goes on this epic marketing consultant BULLSHIT rant about how the it's not a "fire token market economy to align incentives".  And right then, I WANTED HIS BUSINESS SCHOOL ASS TO GO TO EXILE.  Says if you want to do something risky you can offer someone a token to make it "palatable".  

Jeff asks if that means you have to lie

Wendell says you have to find people to trust

Jeff asks Nick if that means pre-existing relationships are important and Yul jumps in again to say yes because there is only a finite time to get to know people, build trust and strategize.  

Jeff points out that Wendell and Michelle have a relationship.

Wendell basically says that since he has had sex with her (because lets be clear they did not have many deep conversations with each other) it doesn't mean he wants to go to the end with her.  He wants people to help ME go to the end.  

Michelle rolls her eyes and says Wendell has made it clear that he's here for himself only and the pre existing relationship is meaningless (as was the sex gurl) She ways "me and Wendell are not lovers Wendell says he does care for her and her future (without him obv)

Nick says the person going to exile today without any burned bridges.  Says this is my final 4 and I would welcome the person back to work with them again

Wendell says that might be difficult for him since they'd have lied to him if he went tonight

Yul is like, what?  He says he'd be bitter but he'd like the option open because it might be his only one.  

Jeff says WOW, that's tough

Michelle says she loves all of the boys but it's the game.  

Time to vote!  And idols?  nope.

Wendell gets 1 vote and Yul is off to exile!  

Yul says good one guys!  Michelle tells Wendell she liked seeing him shaking in his boots.  

Tokens go to Sarah and Sophie.