Spring 09 Amazing Race: Week 6

Ok, I am a lazy ass. I admit it. I now have about 50 minutes to write up last week. So, hold onto your hats:

Leaving Russia. Teams have to fly to Jaipur India. I would so hate that. All teams end up on the same flight from Moscow to The Pink City, where they have to take taxi's to a sacred tree.

The Ho's will have a speedbump in this leg of the race.

Once in India, we get the message that it's hot, dirty, smells like crap and everyone is poor. And, the taxi drivers are idiots and don't know where they are going. Which is not surprising if you have taken a cab in NYC when you think that the smart Indian drivers got out of India and are in NYC and still can't drive or find your destination. Mini men are frustrated when their driver basically disappears completely. Turns out he was just consulting mapquest and now has the directions.

Ho's get pissy when their driver stops for gas: "Do they have a hurry button". Which is funny since the driver was wondering if the blondes had an easy button he could play with.

Once at the sacred tree, there are a bunch of dudes sitting around looking sacred AND BIG ASS RED PHONES NEXT TO THEM. The wicked smart Asians get there first and quickly figure out the clue is to call one of 4 numbers on the phones. Although they can't understand the clue until their driver, Babu (seriously) listens to it, they learn they have to go to Amber Fort. While the wicked smart Asians take off, the rest of the IDIOTS keep walking around the tree saying, "I wonder where the clue box is".

Amber Fort holds a Roadblock. Camel Care. One member has to move water and food USING THE PROPER VESSELS to a camel with it's daily requirement. Asian dude is first up and at first takes the water bucket to the food but figures out the large baskets are the proper vessel for the food. By the time he finishes the food, the idiots arrive. Gaydad has trouble carrying all the water but at least he has stopped yelling "my groin, my groin" every 5 seconds. He figures out the basket for the food and starts on that.

After filling the food and water, teams must travel to a puppet store. Seriously, how do you keep a store that sells puppets open for business in the midst of that poverty?? Once at the puppet store, however, there is a detour that has nothing to do with puppets which proves my point that it probably was just an opium den with a puppet store front.

Detour: Movers or Shakers. In movers teams travel...somewhere...and have to bike a bunch of huge ass barrels to...somewhere else. Once at somewhere else, they have to unload them, and unload the hay and find a little elephant. Only the mini-men do the movers.

In shakers, teams have to dress up as prostitutes in bright colors and makeup, and pimp for 100 rupees. Seriously, do not tell me that the Amazing Race crew does not hand out the money in advance. Hmmm, we're all poor as shit and we have 10 rupees. Do we 1) eat, 2) eat some more or 3) give our money to some crazy whored up Americans playing in our country for a million dollars, which is alike a friggin BAZILLION rupees.

Speedbump: the HO's have to do paint by number on an elephant's head. YAWN. This sets them back about 5 minutes.

All the other teams do the whore thing. The gays LOVE THE PRETTY COLORS!!! Reminds them of this year's gay pride parade. Wow, still 20 minutes left of my time but alas, this was a kind of dull week and teams now have to get to the pitt stop which is Jaeger Port.

Teams arrive and are met with some Indian dude playing a nose flute. What incredibly poor people won't do for a little money!

Team1 is the wicked smart Asians! They win ocean Kayaks which no doubt will sit and gather dust in their 3 car garages while they are back at their corporate lawyer jobs.It's a race to the finish as the mini men can't find the little elephant trinket in their hay. Ooooh, who will come in last? Mini's or Ho's????? Ahh, it's the Ho's who are the next team eeeliminated.