Survivor: Down to the finale!!

And we are down to 8 to start this recap.  Will did flip his vote, not that it mattered last week but he is now a man.  LOL.  That's the problem with these kids today having sex at 14, they then have to do stupid shit like this to become a man.  Bret isn't impressed.  Says it was like "make a big move" was on his checklist.  High school move.  Has Bret actually moved out of a seated position this season?  Talk about someone going along with the flow!  He better not win.

Bret and Sunday talk to Adam and decide Dave, Jay and Will are the biggest threats and have to be the next 3 to go.  

BANG.   Immunity Challenge.  Holy shit, was there a reward challenge that was too boring to even include??  This is kind of interesting.  Carry 10 disks on 2 ends of a horizontal pole through an obstacle course with a balance beam, then feed them into this kind of miniature golf course thing where the disks have to be rolled into the slot and out the back.  I do think there should have been a giant paper mache pirate standing over the slot thing but, whatever.  Will can't get his manly ass through the course, so Jay, who probably also spends half of his life in an arcade (do they still have arcades??), wins immunity.  Jay is actually growing on me so I would be OK if he wins the million.  

Jay wants Ken to go home because Ken can win challenges.  And totally will get all of the good months on the 2017 Survivor Calendars.  

Manly Will is CALLING THE SHOTS!!!  LOL, he can't even legally DO SHOTS.  He's all for David going home.  David is still pushing the "polishing his college application/resume" line and wants Will to go.  Adam agrees that Will is a big threat I guess to win the game, now that his voice has changed and his plea to the jury will sound more manly.  Adam doesn't want Will in control of his fate.  He tells Bret that he's voting for Will.  Adam also tells Hannah who is actually more in control of the game than any of these boys realize.  She tries to argue that it's not the best move given he just joined him and they could use him a bit longer.  

Bret and Sunday are apparently in a weak position.  That's what my notes say anyway.  I guess the fake question of the night will be, to blindside Will or Dave.  Although, c'mon, will anyone be actually blindsided at this point in this season of whiplash?  Adam says.....TIME FOR MY MOVES.......

Tribal.  C'mon who else SCREAMED LAUGHING AT ZEKE'S HAIR???

Will says his big move caused a stir at camp.  Jay thought it sucked.  

Happy David says he has "deep concerns it's me"

Hannah says that everyone left has worked with and against you so the question is who to take to the final.

Adam points out the history of this season is that good moves tend to get you kicked out.

Or as Jeff has to rephrase, "you need a resume but moves are dangerous".  Thank you Captain Obvious.  

Jay ends tribal by saying "everyone's a player".  It will either be an easy vote or another BIG MOVE.  

In the end, it's between David and Will and the MAN is voted off.  (Will).

BUT WAIT, AGAIN THERE'S MORE!!!

Jay has decided he is the black plaque and anyone who makes a move with him goes home. But Jay isn't going home.  

Jay and Adam commiserate that they have a sick love/hate relationship.  It is interesting how that has grown recently.  Jay tells Adam that David will take him out and will probably win.  David, boys and girls, has a quite the phoenix rising from the ashes story.  Adam agrees that they need an opportunity to take a stab at getting rid of David.

Bang again.  Immunity Challenge.  I know there was a reward challenge that they must have edited out.  Oh, for the good old days when by now people were freaking starving and a bite of food was important in stamina.  Now they're like, "hey Jeff, can you ask Mark Burnett if we can have something other than pizza, hamburgers or fried chicken?  How about a nice salmon.  We're worried about our cholesterol with all of the meat we've had this season.  

The challenge is another interesting one.  There's the same sets of blocks to solve the same freaking "Millennials vs Generation X" puzzle.  But this time there's like a pinball machine and if the ball falls it goes through a really slow set of ramps and they can't work on the puzzle during that time.  Jeff points out that in his psych 101 class at Game Show College that's called split focus.  Ken wins with a little help from Adam telling him when to move his balls, so to speak.  

Jay flat out states that he's voting for David and asks to stay around.  It's scramble time.  The first question is will Jay play his idol?  Adam wants Jay to play it and then for David to go home.  David talks to Ken and Hannah.  He wants Bret, but Hannah wants Sunday because she is a goat that someone might take to the end as a sure person to beat.  She is afraid at the end Adam will flip and take Sunday instead of her.  Sunday is hotter.  Kidding.  Not really...  David and Ken agree with Sunday.  

Adam tries to convince Ken and Hannah that they should vote Jay since they believe Jay, Sunday and Bret will vote for David.  He doesn't want them to go with Sunday because he wants either Jay or David gone.  Ken wants David to stay.  

Adam talks with Jay and tells him he needs to play the idol.  Why should I believe you?  They talk about how much winning would mean to each other and Adam tells him about his mom with the stage 4 cancer.  Jay gets emotional and says he understands because his mom also has an illness and he worries all the time about losing her.  Jay decides Adam isn't a weasel and is in fact a good dude.  

Hannah tells Adam she is going with Sunday.  She believes if they save David he will be more loyal.  Adam thinks this is a giant threat.  

Tribal

David tells sappy Jeff that yes, friendships and alliances still matter.  Jay agrees that alliances have currency.  But that they guy with the friends is a bigger threat.  David argues that the guy without friends can play free agent.  

Jeff asks David if he is a threat and he says yes.  Adam points out that David is in the vote majority and that his transformation from a pile of neurosis to just a regular dirty gay is something juries love.  Hannah agrees that at this point in the game it is about who it your biggest threat.  

Sunday says that she is not a physical threat and hopefully someone people will want to take to the end.  

Adam says that everyone is playing their own game and it's all about jury perception.  

Time to vote.  Any idol???????  Jay says, AAAALLLLLLRRRRIIIIIIIIIGHT  and hands it over.

Vote:  Jay 1, David 2 and Sunday gets 4 and is voted out.

And now we are 6:  3 Ms and 3 Xers.  Good luck to you lucky bastard that still have a chance!!!

Survivor Update: Will's big move

Ok so when we last spoke Jessica was the loser in the always risky rock drawing.  Personally I preferred the old MAKE FIRE CHALLENGE.  David is pissed he burned his idol, and Zeke is all I'M A WINNER!!!  I'm totally final 5 and I'm just as happy that David is going to lose!!  

Challenge.  With families.  It's a giant boohoo fest.  Adam gets to see his brother and ask about his mom.  Ken HAS A BROTHER who is hot hot hot.  Jeff is totally losing his mind spewing psychobabble about families and shit.  The challenge is a rope maze thing where they are tied to the rope and have to untangle it. Wanna know?  BBQ on the beach with your loved ones.  

Adam gets totally stuck under a pole in the sand and I actually had a bit of an anxiety attack thinking of it.  Jay wins the challenge and gets to pick another person...picks his only friend Will. Then Sunday and ONE MORE.  Everyone is begging him but he picks Adam because "Adam had the power to take this away from me and didn't".  

Adam and his brother catch up on his mom, who is stage 4 lung cancer and has had to stop chemo apparently.  She "is getting strength from you".  I am resisting googling him to see if she has died yet since the show was filmed in the spring.  Ok, I just googled it,  I'll let you decide if you want to know.  

Jay and his sister go and sit with Adam and his brother.  Adam is so appreciative that he gives Jay the "steal a reward" advantage.  

Will says seeing his mom made him want to grow up into a BIG BOY, so now he is busy joining the band and the glee club to build his college resume.  He wants to MAKE A BIG MOVE so everyone will stop seeing him as a kid and paying him no attention.  And if that doesn't happen he is totally going to hold his breath until they do.  Will tells David he wants to be a BMOC and David is like, OK, use me for the vote.  Will gets all mad and is "Duuuude, I don't want to use anyone I want to make the BIG MOVE totally on my own.  I'm here to play and I want to take out Zeke.  That'll show them!

Immunity Challenge:  have they done this one before?  It's like 2 handles that you have to apply equal pressure to in order to hold a steel bar between them.  Looks like something they sold to increase woman's breast size in the 50s.  

Adam wins immunity.

So back at camp, Zeke and his merry followers are like, "hmmmmm why are David and those losers so calm?  Don't they know we have ALL OF THE POWER?  

Will talks to Ken.  Now, I like Ken and I think Ken was just being protective since Will came out of the blue to talk to him and has to date not been an ally.  He tells Ken they don't listen to him, wah wah wah.  I want to make a big move!  Ken asks him a lot of questions and Will gets all Millennial on him that it's like having his fingernails and toenails pulled out to have to work with Ken.  He tells Ken that the Zeke army wants to get rid of him.  

Ken, unwisely, confronts Jay immediately about the plan to get rid of him asking if it's true.  Which basically blows things up.  Will gets pissed off and now wants Ken gone because of his extreme arrogance and ego.  Will's vignettes are getting a little over the top.  Will is totally angry!  NOW I HAVE TO DECIDE!!!!  AND BE IN CONTROL!!!  BIG MAN!!!

Tribal

David tells Jeff that it's basically 4 people and one swing vote, which Sunday lays out to be Will.  Will tells Jeff that his plan was to vote out Zeke but Ken announced it to everyone.  He whines to Jeff about wanting to sit at the adult table at Christmas, and to be treated like an adult, gosh darn it.  

Sunday says that he was swayed to want to vote out Zeke.  Will is like I WAS NOT SWAYED!!!  Adults do not get SWAYED.  I want to make THE BIG MOVE.  THE BIGGEST MOVE EVER.  A HUGE MOVE!  

Zeke tries to work on him by saying "I've always wanted to work with Will, to play the game with him, and in fact I EVEN COVERED WILLS ASS ONCE OR TWICE.  Adam jumps all over that remark pointing out to Will that Zeke just said he has been carrying his baby ass.  Zeke "no, he helped me, I helped him".  

David points out the "resume" builder thing.  That Will wants to make a move for his jury resume.  This vote would give him cred with the jury.  

Brett tells Will that they are just building him up to drop him next vote.  Will doesn't feel like he has an equal say in things with the 5 he is aligned with.  Hannah points out that his original 5 are just fluffing him up tonight.  

Jay says, DUDE, DO WHAT YOU WANT TONIGHT.  FOLLOW YOUR GUT.  Will says Jay is the onliest one who gives him respect.  

Time to vote!  

Adam pulls his idol out of his dirty crotch and hands it to Jeff.  Niiiiice.  He plays it for Hannah.  Hannah gets 4 votes but is safe and Zeke is voted out.  Ding Dong!!!  And in the end, although Adam did vote for Zeke, can this really be considered a big adult move??  I mean, without his vote Zeke was still going home.  And should big votes really be so freaking messy and public?  Time will tell.....

Lol, Christ I missed a week or two, they throw in a 2 hour double elimination show and now I'm so freaking far behind I can't sleep at night!  Let's see if we can do a summary of the last 3 shows and all get caught up!

One interesting thing with this season is, with the exception of Yummy Ken, all of the beautiful, strong and cool people have been voted off leaving us with a bunch of nerdy kids and adults that you would find working as a night Manager at your local Walmart.  I believe last time I did an update Taylor followed his squeeze out the door for being an arrogant asshole about stealing and eating food.  

So in the following episode, Chris sees Jess as his main target and wants to "hit her before she hits me".  He's kind of an angry asshole.  Hannah, along with most of us, has the hots for Ken.  Little Will is starting to feel like he's not being treated like an adult.  He's mad that Zeke didn't tell him about the Taylor vote.  Zeke is a little manipulator.  Will tries to suck up to him by telling him that Jay has an idol, but DON'T TELL ANYONE!!!.  That piece of news spreads so fast I'm surprised the last whisper down the lane doesn't have Jay with 3 idols and a gun.  

The challenge is some swimming thing.  I don't remember and my notes say, "swimming thing".  Pathetic David goes all "oh I'll step out of the challenge because I don't want anyone losing pizza and beer on my account".   Everyone OF COURSE tells him to stay in, be a man, they want him to compete, blah blah blah.  David has another cry and says "I'll never forget you guys".  Jay ends up not competing.  Ok, so some of you are probably saying, WHAT ABOUT JAY, HE'S HOT!  Meh.  Not in my book where manly men are hot.  

So the challenge is some swim to a raft, pull yourself up, get a key, unlock a puzzle.  This one is a color block one and not some decipher the latest bullshit piece of pop psychology Jeff is spouting this week.  Zeke, Adam, Hannah, Sunday and Brett win and get to eat right off of the Survivor beach.  They also get letters from home and Adam, who is really a BAD crier is all crying because, say it with me people, his mom has cancer.  God, I prefer the old days when people had to lie about their dead grandmother and we could leave the human suffering and tragedies out of reality tv.  

Back on the beach Yummy Ken and David are sitting around.  Seriously, couldn't David have been allowed to bring his meds as his "personal item"?  Remember when they made a big deal about their ONE personal item?  I swear they get to bring whatever they want this time around.  Anywhoo. Ken tries to make nice to David telling him "Dude, what you're doing everyone respects".  David talks about his fear of life and fear of death.  WHATEVER.  He tells Ken he's all about a final 3 with him.  He expresses his concern with Chris/Brett and  Sunday and wants to vote for Chris.  Ken doesn't trust Zeke.  

Immunity Challenge:  They have to balance on a perch and hold a little statue with a stick of wood.  DAVID WINS IMMUNITY.  So more psychobabble.  "I need to tamp down that voice that says I can't and listen to the one that says I can".  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.......

Back at camp and no one is talking to Jay.  Chris wants it to be Jess but he wants to make Jay play his idol.  Zeke believes he has masterminded the Gen X civil war and he has the power to pit them against each other.  David tells Jess she's on the block.  Jess, Adam, Ken and David want Chris to go.  Hannah and Zeke and their ilk think they are blindsiding Jay.  Zeke "the is next vote is amassing the soldiers I need to march my army down the field".  

Tribal

Lots of bullshit on this one.  David talks about voting blocs coming together to eliminate a single threat or splinter into multiple targets.  Zeke doesn't believe in no stinking voting blocs.  Hannah calls them "trust clusters" and Jeff wets himself over the catchy term.  Hannah also wets herself that Jeff thinks something she said is cool.  He is soooo gonna sleep with her once she gets voted off and is in her Ponderosa hut.  Brett mumbles something in Bostoneese about getting rid of people you don't trust but Chris says it shouldn't be about trust tonight.  

Adam: There is a cold war brewing and WINTER IS COMING....And Chris is blindsided, thereby once again I lose a Survivor Pool.  

BUT WAIT THERE'S ANOTHER EPISODE!!  Remember when the night before Thanksgiving was all about a rehash?  Now they assume people who watch Survivor are too old to do that "meet everyone you went to high school with at your childhood home local bar to drink and hook up" pre turkey day thing.  

Clearly I was pre-holiday drinking at this point because my notes are getting worse.  Ok, so Jess says that sending Chris home solidifies everything.  Zeke apologizes to Brett for leaving him out f the loop but Brett says he thinks it was good because Chris  would have won.  Zeke says that Brett wants to work together which is good because he wants everyone to come together to defeat David.  Zeke is kind of getting obsessed with David going. 

Next morning David watches the sun rise with Brett and Sunday.  They discuss voting Jay out but David points out that Zeke is currently pulling the strings and should go but newly aligned Brett doesn't like that.  Brett tells Zeke and they discuss getting rid of him but that David has an idol.  

Zeke talks to Adam and Hannah about getting rid of David.  Hannah thinks that Will and Jay are bigger threats than David.  Hannah finds herself in the middle.  

Challenge: slither through sand with hands and feet tied together, then do a snake puzzle.  3 teams of 3.  David, Zeke, Brett and Sunday win a picnic and a helicopter ride.  At reward, both Brett and Zeke buddy up and decide to use each other.  Sunday joins them and they discuss taking out David.  

Returning to camp Hannah tells David that she's in the middle with him and Zeke but she's playing with him.  She tells him they all know about his idol.  He starts to hyperventilate but she tells him to suck it up.  

Immunity Challenge:  they are behind a locked door and have to maneuver the key blindly through a maze to unlock themselves.  It's basically a Jay blowout.  

Back at camp it's a scramble and appears to be a 5-5 tie.  Zeke decide to vote for Hannah in case David plays his idol.  

Tribal

It kind of breaks down pretty fast with Hannah talking to Adam, and Zeke and Brett asking David if he's going to have an anxiety attack or cry tonight.  Everyone is freaking out and suggesting alternate votes during tribal.  

Time to vote

Jeff asks about an idol and David plays his.  Before he says it's for Hannah, Adam says "wait, they are going to Ken", so David plays it for Ken who gets 0 votes.  It's a Hannah-Zeke tie.  They go for the tie breaker which comes out again tied.  They are given the option to unanimously chose between Zeke or Hannah or draw rocks.  They draw rocks and Jess is shocked to be the next person sent to Ponderosa.  She passes her legacy idol to Ken.  

And now I need to take a break!  Last week's update will be out this afternoon.  

Survivor Update: Hell YES I ate your food

Hello!

I am sure you will all forgive me for forgoing my update last week.  I was lounging with my head in the oven and couldn't manage a funny update.

So what we missed were Zeke and David bonding, which was all over the previews anyway,  and Jay deciding he needed to do a BIG MOVE and take out Michaela before the merge because "she's a closer".  It's actually worth watching Michaela's reaction to being blindsided.  Hannah was totally left in the dark and is unhappy.

She's still unhappy this week.  Knows she's on the bottom and that Jay the cool BMOC thinks she's an idiot.  Never underestimate what a nerd feeling like an idiot can do for revenge.  

It's merge day!  Woop Woop! I am particularly happy because I can't stand trying to remember these tribe names and who is on what tribe.  So y'all have 5 minutes to gather your stuff and then go to Vanua and inhabit their beach as one tribe WITH FOOD AND WINE.  

Everyone is assuming they have their original alliance and the new people they met at summer camp.  Not everyone will be right in this assumption.  Bret is already seeing his new best friends hanging out once again at the cool kids table.  Bret and Chris realize they need their originals back.  

The nerds aka Hannah, Adam and Zeke are back together and sharing "intel".  Because that's what the smart people do.  They realize that Jay is the power core and is "very enchanting".  Zeke is particularly disgusted with the bro-lliance going on. 

Adam is smart enough as well to realize that there is usually a merge idol.  He goes out looking, and because they are hidden by freaking MORONS, finds one over tree mail.  It's not an idol but a NEW ADVANTAGE that allows the holder to steal an award already won right out of the winners hands.  Call me crazy but I believe this should be called the suicide advantage because it is going to lead to a world of bad feelings.  

Later that night, Taylor decides to raid the food basket and fills a giant mason jar (because he's good with jars) with dried bananas and other treats.  Bret wakes up because he's making so much noise, sees him doing it and rolls over.  Adam also sees him do it and scamper off to munch.  He joins Taylor and absurdly thinks this is some great bond they now have because he assumes Taylor would be too worried about people knowing he stole food and cower.  Adam doesn't understand how these assholes work where nothing embarrasses them or makes them feel in any way other than superior.  Adam goes on to point out to Taylor that Will is now Jay's right hand man and Taylor has been usurped.  I've always wanted to write a nice long paragraph like this and include the word usurp and now I'm wondering how many of you are actually still reading.   

Taylor is all, munching and probably thinking of Figgy's sexy stank breath, says, "what about Will?"  Adam I believe thinks bringing this info to Taylor will absolve him from voting out his woman.  Taylor isn't in any way buying it but Adam is so stupid he thinks he needs to add a special touch of stupid by confiding that he has this special advantage to prove his seriousness.  Basically Taylor's response is to burp dried banana and decide to vote off Adam.  

The next morning people notice food is missing.  Bret just flat out says it was Taylor.  People are mildly annoyed at Taylor but, hey, he's a pretty boy!  Everyone seems to be all on board to get rid of Taylor but as David says, "it's waaaaaay too early for that shit to stick".  

Taylor heads over to Jay and tells him that Adam wants Will out.  Jay is all WTF is with your people?  Taylor says, yea, he tells me he is now your right hand man.  Jay UNSURPRISINGLY says, how about we vote off Adam??

Fortunately, Zeke overhears.  He realizes Adam is a dumb fuck and worries if he is going to ruin the nerd alliance.  

Individual Immunity Challenge!!  It's supposedly a tougher take on a trademarked SURVIVOR CLASSIC.  Balance on a perch with your hands shackled overhead to a bucket.  Move and the bucket dumps water all over you and the bed at the Pottstown Motel 6.  

7 people are out after 20 minutes (Sunday, Chris, Bret, Jay, Zeke, Ken and Hannah who admitted to pain everywhere).  Within the next 40 minutes Michelle, Taylor, David and Adam drop leaving Jessica and Will who go at it for an hour and a half until Jessica drops leaving high school student Will as the winner of individual immunity.  

And now it's scramble time.  Taylor announces to the other Millennials that it's Adam.  Michelle thinks that's ridiculous and it's a personal rather than strategic move.  

Zeke tells Adam that Taylor told Jay basically everything he said, and Adam is like "so that's why Will worked so hard!"  He also pointed out that he was "playing to hard".  Zeke wonders if there is any chance to blindside Taylor.  He talks to the Xers who ponder whether it should be Jay/Taylor or Michelle and endlessly ponder who among them might have an idol.  Zeke worries he may need plan B since they can't make up their minds.  

Adam talks to his new buddy Taylor and says that Jay won't even look him in the eye.  Taylor basically says it's too late, man. It's 100% gonna be a revenge vote for Figgy because he "has his big boys back".  

Hannah pulls Adam aside and tells his to JUST STOP MAKING THINGS WORSE.  She says his problem has always been that he wanted to sit at the cool kids table.  

Adam debates whether or not to use his idol, because he's mainly afraid of using it when he doesn't have to and looking like a chump.

Tribal

Jeff asks David what the differences are between the Ms and the X's.  David says the Ms eat more.  

Taylor is all YUP I DID EAT THE FOOD.  He's all laughing and arrogant about it. Says he was hungry and it was a medical emergency

Chris points out that is's selfishness not game play

Taylor still doesn't get it and is all "Rock on dude, you people gotta CHILL.  

Adam moves on to the idea of loyalties shifting after summer camp.  They are not just M or X but other loyalties have been built up

David says it's not about people I trust vs people you trust

Jay's all "loyalty, YUP"

Jeff points out that everyone so far has said that right before their torch is snuffed.  

Will agrees that there is an objective with this vote but not everyone has the same objective. 

I really think someone is feeding them these platitudes.  

Jay: LINES WILL BE DRAWN TONIGHT

Michelle: TRUST WILL BE BROKEN AND REBUILT

Taylor:  DUUUUUDE, WORRYING DOESN'T MATTER and he looks at Adam who says, it's terrifying.

Time to vote and decide if you want to use your idol!  Nope?  Let's tally the votes, shall we?

Adam 4

Michelle 7

And if was FREAKING WORTH WATCHING just to see Jay's pretty boy stunned face.  

Survivor: Some Kind of MANCE Going On.

Good Tuesday to all!  Hope you all had a GREAT Halloween!  And if any of our studly men dressed as shirtless Ken for the holiday, PLEASE share your pics!!  He is just freaking yummy good. 

Am I the only one still with repressed high school feelings that brings out the visceral hatred of the "couple" of Figgy and Taylor?  Or did everyone else have to live through high school watching a perfect couple command undeserved attention simply because they had a partner when everyone else was just trying to get through the day?  LOL, so this week was DEEEEELISH.  

I actually looked up what the tribe names were this week.  We have Ikabula consisting of Hanna, Michaela, Jay, Will and Boston Brett.  Takali with the POWER COUPLE, Figgy and Taylor, Adam, Jessica and Shirtless Ken.  Vanua now has David and Chris, along with Zeke and Michele.  

All is happy at the Vanua tribe now that CiCi was voted out.  Zeke is thrilled and thinks the Xrs were silly to send their own home on the only tribe that they had the numbers.  He is now a REBORN player.  I still shake my head at anyone who chooses to go down the Survivor path with David as an alliance.  

Ikabala is hangry.  And hungry for idols.  Jay and Will go out looking for idols and find a strange stick with a tribe logo on it.  Jay breaks it open and finds the idol JUST AS MICHAELA comes round the bend.  Bad timing!  She's keeping quiet for now but if she gets wind of something going down, she's snitching.  

Challenge:  Figgy claps to see CeCe is gone because "I LOVE MICHELE!!!"  Oh, and um, you too Zeke.  Is that your name, Zeke?  Jeff points it out and Michele says the truth works really well on Survivor.  

It's the old blind being led by callers on platforms.  This time they are looking for 4 packets of puzzle pieces and the puzzle will be done while blindfolded as well.  Brett and Hannah sit it out. Wanna know?  They're playing for SUGAR HIGH!  Pie and Cookies and Brownies and Ice Tea and Milk!!  Second place just gets chocolate chip cookies.  

 David is SURPRISE awful, unable to tell his left from his right while blindfolded. Figgy, Jay and Michelle are the callers.  It's about what you would expect except the added drama of Hanna having a panic attack just watching.  They bring in Medical Bob who gets her to stop taking fast breaths, and her arms and hands stop cramping.  Hannah discusses with Jeff that she is prone to panic attacks.  He kinda tells her she's brave for coming out knowing she has them.  

Takali is the first back with all of their puzzle pieces but Vanilla comes from behind and wins.  Ikabana comes in second and Takoli gets nothing.  Figgy has the sads but I'm sure Taylor will like them away with his stinky, coated furry tongue.  

Back at camp Zeke is still stewing about Michelle's reception from Figgy.  He thinks it was a big mistake on Figgy's part and he now wants Michelle to go.  

On Takoli, the romance is brewing.  They even keep referring to themselves as a POWER COUPLE, just like I am SURE those king and queens of high school called themselves every night when they talked over their princess phones, conspiring to have THEIR favorite song be the prom theme.  

Taylor wants to keep sucking face at the lockers in the morning and lunchtime, so he talks Figgy into telling Jessica and Shirtless Ken that they are indeed a couple.  Both pretend to be shocked for about 3 seconds before acknowledging they were well aware of it.  Shirtless Ken:  These kids think this is a vacation.  It's not as cool as they think it is.  

Immunity Challenge

Race to the beach over balance beams, untie 6 bags with coconuts  but also with balls.  Use the 3 balls for a table maze,  

At first David doesn't suck but when heavy lifting of the coconut bags is required, he goes back to suckage.  Shirtless Ken falls off the balance beam but makes up the time hauling all of his nuts and balls (wink) up onto the beach at once.  

Doing the table maze are Figgy/Jessica, Michaela and Hannah, and Zeke/Michelle

I'm pretty surprised Hannah didn't have another panic attack, getting yelled at the whole time by Michaela.  DON'T EVEN MOVE.  But it works and Takali gets the big immunity idol.  

It's between the other 2 tribes and Michaela is offering advice to Zeke and Michelle.  They pull it out and get the second idol, leaving Figgy and Jessica with nothing.  

When asked why Michaela helped, she explains because she wants to keep the M numbers up.  "We have Millennials too" says Takali.  "You have the numbers.  If y'all can't figure out how to work together then you deserve to go home."

Adam feels like a double agent between the 2 couples.  Figgy, challenge loser that she is, says it has to be Ken.  Taylor agrees.  Adam leads them to think he agrees.  Taylor: "Maybe Adam is double crossing us".  hahahahaha, they really laugh that one up.  

Jessica talks to Adam.  He tells her the plan is Ken.  Jessica has shirtless Ken go TALK TO ADAM AND PROMISE HIM UNDYING SUPPORT.  Ken does, saying his has his back until the end.  He could totally have my entire backside until the end, frankly.  

Tribal

Ken admits there is an obvious 3-2 split.

Taylor is confident all of the Ms are gonna stick together and worship at the POWER COUPLE heels.

Figgy says it's not really all peachy in M land, as ADAM ONCE VOTED FOR ME but I barely remember it I've forgiven his so long ago.

Jeff says something about Figgy looking at Adam as equal to all other M's and everyone laughs.

Adam isn't sure it's a romance or a shomance but some kind of mance is going on.  

Jeff asks: R U in Luv?

Taylor says that's a stretch

Ken says how HILARIOUS it was when they announced it, letting everyone now they are ridiculous if they think they are fooling anyone.

Jeff says he's an ordained minister and offers to  marry them.  

Figgy says it would be a Survivor First

Taylor seems to consider it

Figgy says they aren't really concerned that it's out because they are just 2 people who vote together like Ken and Jess.  

Adam says there's a bit of a difference between the 2 relationships. 

Figgy is laughing and saying yea, man, suck it up it just happened but we are still totally strategic.  

Ken says the numbers could change any time

Adam admits to Jeff that he is in the middle of high school. 

Taylor says if Adam flips, come the merger they would just vote his ass out.  

Adam says tonight is about the future and he likes who he is voting out.  "Someone will go home upset and someone will stay upset"

Figgy and Taylor just keep holding hands and laughing.

Time to vote

 

Still hand holding and laughing but now Adam has a sly smile on his face.  Bye bye Figgy!  Sorry Taylor but she'll be sleeping with the crew in about 4 hours.  

Good afternoon, and YES it is only Monday!!  I'm off to lay on the beach and pretend I'm on the kind of Survivor where the biggest problem is not making fire but cutting the limes for the gin and tonics evenly.

Paul was blindsided last time we talked.  Good.  His buddies Brett and Chris aren't happy.  Jessica tries to explain that their leader basically told them there might be a guys thing.  The mens are still angry and go off to whittle stuff.  Jessica starts wondering if getting rid of Paul was a mistake.  

Lucy doesn't trust Jessica.  She tells Sunday and Brett that Jessica is now pulling the strings.  She says Ken and Dave trust her and she can bring the numbers so they should let her lead them around by the short hairs.  Chris just wants Jessica gone.  

The M's are all hungry and start talking about seeing pig tracks AND HOLY AMAZING COINCIDENCE, there's a goat way up high on a hill.  What are the odds that would happen while the cameras are rolling??  All the cool kids run off to catch a goat.  Adam decides to instead spend time looking for an idol.  He does that thing Survivors do that creep me the hell out, thrusting their arms inside trees to feel around.  UGH, imaging what they are stirring up!!  He finds a map and realizes he has to keep looking.  

No goat is caught or hurt in the production of this episode.  

Bang, it's a reward challenge.  Race into the water, 2 from each tribe to grab a ring and them fight like hell until one tribe touches their goal post.  Wanna know?  Steak, sausage and a grill for the night.  It's basically a total shit show.  Although the pair of Chris and David actually do quite well.  The ladies get into it a bit and Michaela drops her top to get away from the scramble.  They do let her have her top back which I think is wrong.  Bottom line, Gen X wins reward.  

Zeke later exclaims "those guys are HUGE".  But Michaela is an Amazon woman.  And not the kind that sells and ships books overnight.  

Adam consoles himself with the knowledge that that was never gonna be his challenge.  He goes back to looking for the idol which has the clue "shell-tered".  He finds a giant clam shell on the beach with the patented Survivor logo and is rewarded with an idol.  Hannah sees him on the beach and asks "how's your idol search going??"  But we're unsure if she actually thinks he has one.  

Adam goes on to talk about his mom who has stage 4 lung cancer, making being on Survivor his biggest dream and his worst nightmare.  He talks about how excited she will be to see him find this idol.  Yea, that shit gets to me more than it used to.  

Dave, Ken and Lucy talk.  She refuses to give them any names unless and until they lost the immunity challenge.  She tells them she doesn't want to see them talking to anyone else about it.  Says it's Jess.  Ken gets all pissed off at the amount of rules and regulations Lucy gives them.  Thinks they have replaced one dictator with another.  

Immunity Challenge

Race over an obstacle course to a chair, which is pulled up and around a giant 3 level thingy with 30 numbers on boards.  They have to go up and around to get the numbers in order, stopping after every 10 to unload and switch people.  The Xers are in the lead after the number search and it's on to a giant multi word puzzle with 30 letters.  It's pretty hard since it takes over 45 minutes.  Jeff is all excited because his lab rats perform the puzzle differently.  The Xers actually moving letters around, the Mers figuring it out in their heads.  The millennial get it "Someone loses their fight tonight".  

Gen X is headed back to tribal.  Chris is planning to blindside Jess.  Lucy tells him that Ken and David are on board.  She proclaims herself a tiger mom who loves control and whose husband and kids apparently hate her.  Ken is pissed off.  "I'm done.  We're back on the bottom".  He decides that they should tell Jess and then bring in Sunday.  

Dave talks to CeCe and they decide it's Lucy.  Ken tells Jess that they want to blindside her and she doesn't totally believe it.  "Who says??"  "Lucy".  They tell her it's been decided and that she needs to talk to Sunday to get her to vote for Lucy.  Jess is suspicious  and goes to Lucy.  "Ken is telling me you are voting me out".  Jess tells Dave and Ken that she ran and told Lucy and they are shocked.  

Lucy ask Ken why.  He says basically, dunno.  Says you gave me a list of rules.  She declares that he's just like a girl, and that they have a snitch.  She also privately admits she probably did come on too strong and controlling.  

Big blow up.

Tribal

Dave, did the blindside bring the tribe together?  Nope.

Chris-we were upset and it's basically all chaos.

Jess: the 5 have been processing it but we're all still together

Lucy says it was like a bomb going off and now it's all insecurity and chaos.  Says she thought she was OK but Ken wants her out.

Ken agrees.  She ordered me around.

Lucy says that it's just that she's blunt.  Men can handle that....

Jeff points out that she's being a blunt bitch again.

Ken says he has wavered all day, which is what happens when there is disloyalty

Jess asks if she was supposed to just trust Ken?

David says something about anything can happen at tribal. 

Chris basically says that someone is gonna be the chump.

Vote.

Idol?  David gets up and says it was a pleasure to meet you all, and then plays the idol for Jess.

Jess gets 5 votes, don't count.  CeCe again gets a vote, and Lucy is voted off with 2 votes.  

Jess just sits there with giant eyes.....

Survivor Up: Vinyl IS Better.

Last time we met, Mari was blindsided by everyone but Adam and Zeke, the quintessential pair of lone wolfs.  They congratulate Figgy and Taylor "well played", but Figgy gets her beautiful little nose out of joint at the notion that it was just those two.  "People who write down Figgy go home".  

Hannah, of the socially awkward, approaches Adam and Zeke to explain/apologize.  "It was a last minute decision".  She keeps at them over and over even after Zeke tells  her to leave them alone.  GIVE ME SPACE!!!  She keeps going on and Zeke accuses her of trying to play the victim.  Finally she leaves and they discuss being on the bottom.  "You and me on dumb ass island!"  Adam promises to get back up to the top.

OMG, can Dave survive 39 days?  He's already almost transparently skinny.  He, Dave and Cece are obviously on the bottom although HEY!!  Dave managed to check "find an idol in Survivor" off his  bucket list!  

Paul is an insufferable bore.  Seriously, he and Chet are just 2 old overweight guys that think they are young and cool. I can just picture Paul in his real life walking around in brightly colored biking shorts. He goes out to get them fish, because he's an expert Florida spear fisherman and alas, the schools of yellowtail keep getting away from him.  Spoiler alert, Paul, they've never seen such a flabby white orca floating around the ocean with them.  Ken can't stand Paul.  He's a total bullshitter who talks a good game but provides nothing.  

The excitement this week is a summit.  4 people from each side are sent together to eat PB&Js and try to get info/form some kind of bonds.  For the M's it's of course Taylor, Figgy, Will and Jay.  Jay is just hoping Taylor and Figgy don't start making out.  For the Xers, it's Dave, CeCe, Paul and Chris.  Dave thinks Paul just needs an audience to bloviate at.  Paul tells them he's a lead singer for a Rock Band.  OOOH, are you ZZ Top?  LOL!!  Paul is under the delusion that these kids are missing their Dads and want to talk with an old rocker.  The M's are asked if there are any hook ups?  Nooooooo.  They want to know how Ken Doll is.  That's what they apparently call him.  CeCe says that he's the opposite of what they think, really humble and nice.  Paul gets up to "swim in the ocean", aka dropping a PB&J deuce in the water.  Taylor and Figgy talk to Dave and CeCe to get some info.  CeCe admits that Paul is the big fat alpha thereby putting a target on his back.  Dave approaches Taylor and basically says he's kill his tribe members to prove his loyalty.  

Back home, Dave sees the summit as a ray of hope.  CeCe tells Ken that they call him Ken Doll which is apparently a scar from his childhood.  I'm not a plastic doll with no penis.  He's not flattered at all.  In fact, he goes off and catches 3 fish easily.  

Ken also badmouths Paul to Jessica.  She understands he feels like he's on the outs but whattareyagonna do?  He tells her that she and Sunday are humble people, not like Paul at all.  

The beautiful 4 are relaxing on a rafty thing.  They're deciding to get rid of Zeke next.  Meanwhile, Adam is talking with Michaela and Hannah about how much Figgy sucks.  He points out that Michelle basically saved her ass and they now owe her.  Points out those 4 are totally in cahoots.  Michaela kind of agrees but is basically uninterested in making any promises or moves right  now.  

Challenge.  It's this carry bags through obstacles,over another balance beam thing.  Then knock puzzle pieces off a table with bean bags, then redo the puzzle.  Wanna know?  Luxury items from the Jeff Probst collection at Target.  Chairs, hammock, blankets and candles with the famous Probst sandalwood scent.   As one would expect, the Xers get their asses handed to them in the physical part of the challenge.  Mainly because, although not everyone has to carry 40 lbs over the balance beam, CeCe insists on doing it taking so long that basically the entire M tribe, the production crew and the sand sweeper go past on the other side.  So, the Xers are screwed.  Ken-not a-Doll kicks ass at the throwing of bean bags but alas the Mers are just too far ahead.  M wins immunity and the luxury items.

Mers ask Jeff if they can trade luxury for fishing equipment.  Jeff says it's up to the Xers but he says "I don't think that the luxury items equal fishing" and "hey you guys can always say no....".  Gen X says no.  M's are kind of shocked because "our parents would have said yes....."  

So, Paul is all CECE SUCKED.  It's an obvious choice, but WHO KNOWS!!  They're all in agreement but there's still 20 minutes left in the show.  

CeCe the clueless asks the other women, "hey anyone know who we're all voting for??"  Sunday tells her the boys are working out the details.  CeCe is kinda wondering why no one ever comes up to her with info...

Dave and Ken realize they, plus CeCe are all on the bottom.  They want to target Paul.  There the bottom 3 so they have nothing to lose.  

Paul talks to Sunday.  It's CeCe.  We're a solid 6, right?  You're not gonna go off and do a boys thing, right?  "If they boys wanted that I'd tell you and it would be bye bye ladies".  BOOM.  Not the right answer Paul!!!  

Jessica, Sunday and Luci talk and are really pissed off.  They realize the united 6 is actually boys vs girls.  

Chet says, "hey Paul, why are those girls all talking to each other?"  Paul says, "don't worry about that Boston Chet!"

Tribal

Dave says that meeting the Mers was transformational.  He saw them as people and peers.  He's now only a 9.8 on the anxiety scale

CeCe says that she, Dave and Ken are probably on the bottom.  She also says FINALLY getting my ass over that balance beam felt really good.  

Chris is all, "heeeeeey now, it's too early for any of our solid 6 to be thinking that they are #5 or 6"

Dr Jeff comes out to psychoanalyze the situation.  He points out that the youngsters sure did cooperate well.  I WAS BLOWN AWAY by how good they were.  

Sunday agrees that in general Xers rely on what they think is the right vs wrong way to do something whereas her kids are more likely to try things different ways.  

Dr. Jeff starts asking if people text.  Paul says no.  Sunday says she does.  He asks if she uses "you" or U in texts.  He points out that language is changing to be more efficient (although I disagree.  Newer phone technologies make using "you" not that much less efficient.  But I digress....).  

Ken waxes poetic about the beauty of language (I think I want to meet KEN at the Pottstown Motel 6 next time).  Jeff says, "you probably think vinyl records are better (they are.).  Um, Jeff, YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO BE WELL INTO THE GEN X GROUP.  

They discuss paranoia.  Paul says it's low in the 6 but high in the 3.  He then states, like a typical white male, that the other 3 had just as much opportunity to be in the fortunates.  

Jessica states that tonight's vote will result in helping the tribe move forward.  They need more than just the 6 to win challenges.  

Time to vote!

CeCe gets 3 votes and Paul is blindsided!!  Boooyaaaaaaaaa.  

Survivor: Love Shack!

Hello my fellow Survivors!  Hope you are all doing well and enjoying this season!  Have we all picked out our favorites and who we are gonna love to hate on all season?  Has your contestant spoken yet?  I think this week we at least get to pick out who is who on each tribe.  Week 1 saw the leaving of our alternate #2, so if you have a loser you're still stuck.  

It's day 5 and Gen x (who will be called X from here on in) hasn't started fire yet, even with a flint from the last tribal.  Paul is all assholiness saying "haha, sure David, why don't you give it a try".  And then David BRINGS IT and makes fire!  Woohoo ya little man!!  

David is basically the family joke child that no one is taking any notice of.  So he goes off to find rocks to use as chairs and looks all around for an idol.  He finds the first one, which is basically inside of a coconut with an ink marking on it.  So there's that.  Wonder if he will successfully use it or go home with at least something big in his pants.  

Over on the Millennial tribe (which will now be referred to as M since I can't spell Millennials without the spellchecker riding my ass) it's love goggles.  The prom king and queen, Taylor and Figgy are doing some snuggling in the group bed.  And I am 100% TOTALLY AGREEING WITH MICHAELA: " You stink, your mouth is nasty, you have sand in your drawers AND IT'S NASTY.  

Everyone is on to it and everyone has an excuse.  "Millennials are dreamers"..."Nobody cares"...."Hookups are less serious" (this from Zeke who I can bet would think it was a big deal if he EVER hooked up).  However the rest of the triforce is getting nervous.  Jay thinks they are totally STUPID.  He and Michelle think it could hurt their alliance.  He tells Taylor that power couples don't last but Taylor isn't worried.  The prom king can get away with a lot.  Jay calls it a bullseye for a nuclear missile.   

X Ken, who is Mr. Off the Grid, is fishing and catching a bit octopus.  He has an affinity with David because he apparently had a speech impediment once and although not too shabby in the abs department, is apparently not great at the social game.  Ken and David agree that it's all about Paul's posse and he needs to go.  They form a bro alliance and David shows off his idol as proof of trust.  

The M'ers are finding it difficult to actually live outside of their many screens and in reality.  It's haaaaard!  Taylor wants to make a surfboard.  Michaela and Figgy go at it for a bit.  Michaela thinks figgy is dumb.  Adam thinks Michaela needs to chill and stop the cat fighting.  

X: Paul wants to be in total control.  CeCe talks with Ken and Dave and they agree that while they need to cut off the head, aka Paul, the best thing is to keep feeding his bloated ego until that time.  

Paul collapses, they bring in the medic WHO IS NOT THE NORMAL AUSTRALIAN,  but alas no heart attack.  Just heat stroke, dehydration and a massive ego.  Dave is a bit disappointed.

Challenge.  It's in the water.  Swim, race up a cargo net, jump off a platform and grab a key.  Use the keys to unlock a swim mask, dive and untie rings to be used in the RING TOSS.  During this challenge Jeff calls out everyone's name as we go through and I finally figure out who the other half of the tribes are.  David of course is pathetically slow but manages to get a key leaving the Ms with a lead after the first part of the challenge. In the second part Marti takes forever with her ring and X makes up time.  At the ring toss, CeCe and Ken kill it winning immunity and a tarp.  

Paul announces that the ol pirate is back from the dead.  

M: Zeke is all excited to get to VOTE PEOPLE OUT!!!  Mari wants to blindside Figgy tonight, yet Will is afraid she will see it coming.  Will btw is pretty smart for the youngest on the tribe.  

Zeke and Adam tell Jay that Figgy is going.  WHYYYYYYY????  Do they not get that he is in an alliance with them??  Jay tells Michelle who realized something has to happen.  Says they need Michaela and Figgy to make up.  Jay tells Figgy and Michaela that basically it's Figgy but Michaela is a close second.  Figgy says they need to be 6 strong, but that they also need Will.  They decide on Mari but Michelle has to pull some strings.  

Tribal

OMG they are all gobsmacked to be at Tribal.  It's beautiful.....It's like being inside my tv.....

Jeff asks Mari if social media makes Millennials better at the social game?  She admits that in real life there is this thing called empathy and it's harder to screw people over when you can see their eyeballs.  

Zeke tells Jeff that he's living the dream.  "I'm my best version of myself and it makes me want to give 100%, unlike the usual 35% I give in my asset management job"

Michaela starts it up saying basically it also brings out the worst in some people.  Adam interprets for Jeff that Michaela is a "straight shooter" that many times ends up with the gun pointed at herself.  Michaela continues that there are little groups forming.  

Hannah is totally star struck.  She does manage to get out that there is some cuddling going on.  She calls out Taylor and Figgy who try to play dumb, or are dumb.  While Jeff is talking to Taylor and Figgy Michelle is working on Hannah telling her to vote for Mari and to trust her.  

This keeps going on while Michaela kicks it up a few notches in her war with Figgy.  Taylor says it's not that big of a deal and it's too early in the game for anyone to really care about his penis leading him around in an alliance with Figgy.  Michaela says that she isn't stupid and she isn't buying that.  

Michelle, Hannah and Jay are still all taking about voting for Mari.  Michelle takes a breath and says if she were Figgy she would be scared.  

Jeff asks Hannah a question and she goes all idiot, saying she's dizzy, he's Jeff Probst, it's all confusing....

Mari says Hannah has issues and is probably just talking about puppies or butts.  

Time to vote!  Hannah has another meltdown and takes forever to cast her vote.

In the end, Figgy gets 3 votes and Mari gets 6 and is back to playing video games on the plane home.

On her way out, Mari turns and says..."SALTY".  LOL.  I'm guessing I'm way too old to be cool!!  

X vs Millennials, Week 1

Shit!  First week  back on the job and I almost forgot it was Wednesday!  Here's the better late than never update on Week 1.  

We're back in Fiji again, mostly because Jeff has a time share there.  It's really kinda nice with that fake fishing netting on the walls and those rope tied balls laying around.  The shag carpet is kind of skeevy but he says he can't replace it until he gets his season 37 money.  

And, this year the SOCIAL EXPERIMENT is about "a war between the ages".  Jesus Christ, as if my FB pages aren't already full of WAR right now.  It's the Millennials which are ages 18-31, and Gen X, ages 33-52.  I'm gonna skip all the bullshit right now and come out for Gen X since I just can't deal with playing online video games being a job.  I'm guessing the Gen Xrs had to fill out requests for time off in triplicate, agree that their positions won't necessarily  be held for them and promised their wives that when they return they will make dinner once a month.  The Millennials had to move their plant and their cat out of the basement into the rest of their parent's house.  

So we have a high school kid (Will) as the youngest and I actually think he should get a second trophy for going to school EVERY DAY.  Unless he goes to cyber school, then he can only have the trophy everyone else has gotten.  Paul is Gandolf at the great age of 52.  He in fact points out that he did NOT always get a trophy.  

First up, they get assigned to their tribes and realize it's a social experiment, not in fact a freaking reality show like they were promised.  Then there's a scavenger hunt for items to take to their camp.  I'm hearing there is all kinds of stuff in the trees to pick from but it looks like all fruit to me.  Oh and sticks of wood which people are grabbing left and right and which can actually be found at the camp site.  2 big choices:  Cooking stuff or a hammer, fishing stuff or chickens.  The  Mills take the chickens and you just KNOW there are about 8 total vegetarians on that tribe that are thinking, "oh good, pets!!"  One of the X picks up an envelope that we ultimately find out is a legacy advantage that can be used on day 36, and can be willed to another player if you're voted off.  

Spoiler: it's Cyclone season.  

The millennials are HAPPY!!!  Probably because they don't have to go to their non jobs for a month!  Awesome!  Solid!! Narly!!!  I started writing down their occupations but it just gave me a headache.  Look, I know someone has to be a homeless shelter manager, I'm just not sure if that's a step up or down from a barista.  

There's romance over on M.  Figgy is a little flirt and a manipulator.  She has 2 guys sniffing around her, I believe Dan and Taylor. Truth is I can't keep these Mills straight.  They call themselves TRIFORCE.  There's also a jewish girl, Hannah who needs to up her social skills so she tries to converse with Michelle who is a missionary who sells bibles.  

X: Rachel is overeager and annoying.  Sunday isn't a fan.  David is what I would be on Survivor-totally afraid of everything and wondering how the hell he got chosen for this show?  He's trying to bond with Chris and Brett (Mr Boston) who are trying to build shelter.  He gets all excited thinking Ken and Paul have found an idol.  Chris is like, he's trying way too hard and is totally paranoid.  David runs off to scope Ken and Paul out.  

The weather is getting really bad.  The Mills almost stop frolicking in the ocean to build a shelter.  Instead they spend a night of hell getting rained on.  It's the same on X beach.  Next morning both tribes get tree mail with a complimentary tarp because the weather is getting worse.  They all start to think this is really bad and decide to bust ass on the shelter.  

Jeff arrives, which is bad, and tells each tribe it's a CYCLONE warning and everyone is getting evacuated.  So now that shitty shag carpet in his time share is gonna be even moldier.  

Upon their return, Zeke, the old man in spirit and in actual occupation on the Millennials surprises himself and becomes a leader for the first time in his life.  They not only bust out shelter but he builds fire!!!  And then his testicles drop.  It's quite a day.  

David admits his complete fear of death.  He then very visibly goes looking for an idol.  People see him and get upset.  

Triforce is all I LOVE YOU GUYS.  Hannah has decided that the tribe is breaking down along the cool kids and the geeks and she gets Mari to help her pull together the geeks.  

Challenge:  and thank you for returning the loaned tarps.  It's an obstacle course with options to take shortcuts along the way.  Each shortcut adds 10  puzzle pieces onto the final puzzle.  The Xrs basically take most of the shortcuts and end up faster through the course with 70 puzzle pieces.  M's have 60 pieces.  Rachel and David start on the X puzzle but get nowhere and tag out.  Ultimate Michelle and Figgy win immunity for the kids.  

It's evident to everyone but Rachel that she totally screwed up.  Jessica is pretty ready to vote her out.  Dave realized no one trusts him since no one is talking to him.  He talks to Jessica and offers to vote out whoever she wants.  She asks if he has an idol and is disappointed that he does not.  Boston Brett is the ringleader and wants to split the vote.  Rachel starts thinking it's strange no one is talking to her and Cici and suddenly wonders if she is vulnerable.   

Tribal: get fire because fire equals your life in this game.

Jessica has pink eye from sand blowing into it. No medic needed apparently.

Jeff asks David a question and he  almost faints.  Seriously, is he someone on the productions nephew??  How could he have passed all of the interviews??  He tells Jeff he is scared and that his world is very small at home.  It's probably also very beige.  He kinda says he wants to stay but his enemy is himself.  

CeCe feels his pain.

Sunday says it's good to hear someone else is nervous.  

Jeff asks if anyone else has considered they could be going home and all hands go up.  

He asks Rachel why she should feel endangered and she was all, hmmmm not quite sure but people did get quite after that puzzle thing.  Perhaps it's been because I'm to upfront?

Time to vote, no idol.  

Dave gets 1 vote. Sunday 1 and  CeCe gets 3 votes for no reason I can see and Rachel is the first one off Survivor Generational War.