Tonigggghhhhhttttt, tonigggghhhhhtttt won't be just aaaaany night, as toniggggghhhhhtttttt Sash is gonna win me the poooooool.
Yo, what up? Can you believe we're already at the end of this loooong, drawn out and frankly not that interesting season? My baby will be flying his military helicopter out to Spring City tonight with that fake wooden vote box tucked tightly in that overly developed biceps arm, with his dark blue shirt on. Mmmmmm.
But first a recap and 2 hours of show tonight. Not to mention the post show where Jeff will RIP into ohnoyoudon't and Kelly.
So, Wednesday night. Sash is all, "i'm in control". Kiss of death, Sash.
Fabio gets his close up: "They think I'm more gullible and stupid than I really am. Next couple of days will be funny when they realize how smart I really am". Um, OR NOT FABIO.
Tree mail comes with a cell phone. Oh, sorry, I am contractually required to say it is a SPRINT CELL PHONE. EVO 4G to be specific. It takes pictures and videos. And, get this, it has a clock!!! "To fill your belly you'll have to be first".
Challenge: I'm calling it almost dark blue. He is such a dimpled little tease. Dear Santa, I have been a very very bad girl...
The winner of today's challenge will set sail, eat a meal...WITH YOUR LOVED ONES who all come running out.
JESUS CHRIST. These moms are so damn young and hot. WTF?? What happened to old ladies being moms??
Chase: mom is young
Fabio: again, young mom
Sash: mom
Dan: son Matthew
Jane's daughter
Holly's husband-"we missed our 25th anniversary for this" Ohhh, good one. Wonder if it's true??
The challenge is: Survivors run into the water for 2 bags of PUZZLE PIECES and then their loved ones solve the word puzzle. Gee, you think the word FAMILY is gonna be in the puzzle??
Dan is really really slow running out to get his puzzle pieces. Fabio and Chase are first in. Chase's mom gets the puzzle, "Family Comes First".
Chase gets to chose someone to go with him. hahaha, Do Not Fuck This One Up. Sash, would you like to come?? LOL. You can also chose another person.......
Chase chooses Holly and her husband. Dan's son is upset, "He's a scumbag". Fabio is all crying because he 'only gets to see his mom twice a year'. Why? Is she in prison?? Get your ASS home to see yo Momma boy.
Back at camp, Fabio is mad, and is having a cry feast. Jane's upset, "he told me he was taking me". "I'm #4 in my alliance"
On the boat, the Survivors are grubbing it. Their loved ones are too grossed out by their smell and probably how scary they are stuffing their faces to eat anything. "Final 3 is right here babeeee". Chase finds the final clue to the immunity idols but they already have them.
Back at camp, it's late and everyone is asleep. Fabio takes on Chase. Chase apologizes but Fabio doesn't buy it.
Day 36. Challenge: Light Blue, He better not be shagging one of those hot mammas.
Survivors will be blindfolded and have to go over/under a hitching post, use their hands to figure out a puzzle and bring back pieces to do some shield thing. It seems hard but I kept thinking there were outlines on the puzzle board? Dan is totally lost in the wilderness. Man, if he is playing the "not a threat and not that smart game" he's a total genius.
Fabio thinks he has it? No, but he redoes it and wins immunity!!! He is a mensa member, I can just feel it.
Fabio tells Chase Jane has to go. He won't do it. Chase, Sash and Holly talk. Jane. Chase doesn't want to do it. So, as I yelled at the TV, LET CHASE VOTE FOR SOMEONE ELSE FOR CHRIST SAKE. Jane walks up to them all, "Is it Dan??" Crickets. "Is it me???" Chase asks the others, "is that what YOU ALL want?" Sash: "We all think you can win it". SHUT THE HELL UP SASH. haha, I think we can safely not count her jury vote for Sash...
Jane goes all nuts, throwing water on the fire. I STARTED IT, I'LL PUT IT OUT. She is one tough old lady. But ya gotta like it.
Tribal, lighter blue. Bah Humbug.
Let's bring in the Jury with mad Benry.
Dan, crazy afternoon? Yes, Jeff, your crew told you right, Jane dashed the fire.
Jane: HELL YEA. I started that fire. There is no loyalty here, they are all liars and backstabbers. End of Story.
Jeff: haha, I think beginning of story...
Jane in full Witches of Macbeth mode: Holly, $1400 stolen shoes, had a 4 way alliance with me, screwed me.
Chase: she was in our alliance but she would have won it all
Jeff, who's next? Dan and Fabio, whichever doesn't get immunity.
Dan and Fabio nod.
Fabio-are you hearing this?? Why not their own alliance?
Jane: Right, why not us 3 vote Holly off??
Dan, That would make sense...
Fabio: It's crazy but, yes it would make sense.
Holly: now, now, we all came here with a plan...
Chase: I'm sooo confused.
Time to vote. Anyone want to play an idol?? Both Chase and Sash almost break their legs to play them. Jane is voted off.
Good luck all tonight, and don't get too upset when SASH wins the moooooola for me.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Amazing Race: Finale Tonight!
YO YO YO. Where are you planning to be when HISTORY IS QUITE POSSIBLY MADE? When young woman everywhere can breath easier when the glass ceiling of an ALL GIRL team winning Amazing Race is smashed?? (WTF-why do they call it an all girl team??) Forget the presidency, or a significant portion of fortune 500 company presidencies, WE GOT THE RACE!!! Woohooo. Ladies, let's all celebrate by burning our spandex bike shorts!!
Ok. I feel better now. This fake milestone in the history of woman is killing me. Yes, it would be interesting if an all WOMAN team won. But we're still gonna be in 2 wars on Monday morning, and women are still gonna be paid less.
Let me begin with a correction that I am SHOCKED, SHOCKED I TELL YOU, my eagle eyed readers missed. The tattoo team incurred a 6 hour penalty for not completing the boat task, not a 30 minute one as I said in my last email. I knew no one read it... So, they're screwed with a 6 hour penalty unless it's one of those, the plane leaves at midnight tonight thing. But, frankly, I think they were so late anyway it might not matter. Plus they have a bump or a hump or whatever that thingy you have to do if you are in a non-elim leg. Thank GOD they no longer have to put all their underpants on at once to step on the mat.
Hong Kong. The docs are the first to leave at 4:37 pm. Fly to Seoul, SOUTH KOREA and drive to a bridge close to the NORTH KOREA border. Ok, I gotta say it, the friggin contestants on the Amazing Race understand which Korea is our ally and none of them are considering a run for celebrity-in-chief. Heck of a job, Sarah. But I digress. Right about now y'all should have started playing the "DMZ" drinking game. Because the fact that they were going to the VERY RISKY, VERY BAAAAD border with NORTH Korea, which is baaaaad baaaaad baaaaaad, was gonna be shoved down your throat. And, this was taped before the shootin' began.
Home shopping leaves next in f'ed up matching outfits. Like hot pink shirts and matching gym socks from the 80's. Plus, they have sparkly, jazzy hair shit. They go to a hotel to make travel arrangements. Plane leaves at 12:25 am. They decide to have a cuppa coffee while waiting for the concierge to make their arrangements. I thought this might bite them in the azzz but nope.
At the airport, instead of enjoying $20 cups of coffee, the Docs con a nice gentleman into buying them a travel guide to Korea. He's very charming. I'd have slept with him for a travel guide. Just sayin'.
The Tatts finally get out of time out and arrive at the airport just as the 12:25 am flight leaves. YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOO SCREWED NOW. They have a 9:30 am departure. Buh bye.
More political situation chatter. In South Korea. The Docs get lost. But find the bridge. They have to do river rafting, then find a humvee to take them to a MILITARY BASE. On the SOUTH KOREA SIDE I hope. Because, you know, NORTH KOREA is not a US ally. All 3 viable teams are close.
At the base, it's a roadblock. Martial arts training. Teams need to match a headband with KOREAN writing on it to one worn by a soldier. When they get the right one, the soldier will perform a KICK ASS martial arts action to break a board and provide the next clue. Thomas goes first and gets it right. Brooke gets it wrong once.
After this, teams have to find the World Cup Stadium in Seoul. THEY HAVE TO TAKE THE SUBWAY. Thomas finishes and they are off, Brooke finishes, then Kat. Jill and Thomas are on the first train. And, can I point out how GREAT the public transportation is in all of these countries?? Infrastructure, baby, infrastructure. HSN and the Docs are on the second train.
At the stadium, it's a Detour: full throttle or full bottle. In full throttle, teams must suit up and "speed" skate 24 laps. In full bottle teams must go to some market, deliver 6 giant ginseng roots in bottles.
Claire can't skate but agrees, kinda passively-aggressively if you ask me, to do the speed skating. THEY TAKE A CAB TO THE RINK. Jebuz ladies, can you NEVER read the clues?? They beat Jill and Thomas to the rink, and JT spend the rest of the show trying to figure out how they got there first.
Right about now the Tatts arrive in Seoul. I'm not even gonna cover them anymore, Toast.
HSN does the skate thing, followed quickly by Jill and Thomas. Find your next clue at Han Riverside Park-some airplane sculpture. Jill starts to ask people where the park is while Thomas yells at her, "You can't ask old people". WOW. I hope they don't win. HSN get to the park first: make your way to the Pitt.
HSN are first to arrive BUT they have incurred a 30 minutes penalty for taking the cab. They have to sit on the curb and wait.
Jill/Thomas get a lame cab driver. They decide to bolt to another cab. "Oh good, a YOUNG driver".
Jill and Thomas are team #1 and win a trip to Argentina. HSN are team #2 and ARE IN THE RACE TO BE THE FIRST ALL GIRL TEAM. Docs are team #3 and ARE IN THE RACE TO BE THE FIRST ALL GIRL TEAM TO WIN THE AMAZING RACE. They would also be the first doctor team, but whatever.
Tatts are pushed across the DMZ (drink) into NORTH KOREA and are now cleaning Kim Jong Ill's jeeps. Or that's what it looked like to me anyway. They are eeeeeeeliminated, In his losing interview, Boy Tatt says he is "a changed man" because of the race. Uhuh, he'll be back verbally abusing Girl Tatt within 24 hours.
CONGRATS TO THE FINALISTS AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!
Ok. I feel better now. This fake milestone in the history of woman is killing me. Yes, it would be interesting if an all WOMAN team won. But we're still gonna be in 2 wars on Monday morning, and women are still gonna be paid less.
Let me begin with a correction that I am SHOCKED, SHOCKED I TELL YOU, my eagle eyed readers missed. The tattoo team incurred a 6 hour penalty for not completing the boat task, not a 30 minute one as I said in my last email. I knew no one read it... So, they're screwed with a 6 hour penalty unless it's one of those, the plane leaves at midnight tonight thing. But, frankly, I think they were so late anyway it might not matter. Plus they have a bump or a hump or whatever that thingy you have to do if you are in a non-elim leg. Thank GOD they no longer have to put all their underpants on at once to step on the mat.
Hong Kong. The docs are the first to leave at 4:37 pm. Fly to Seoul, SOUTH KOREA and drive to a bridge close to the NORTH KOREA border. Ok, I gotta say it, the friggin contestants on the Amazing Race understand which Korea is our ally and none of them are considering a run for celebrity-in-chief. Heck of a job, Sarah. But I digress. Right about now y'all should have started playing the "DMZ" drinking game. Because the fact that they were going to the VERY RISKY, VERY BAAAAD border with NORTH Korea, which is baaaaad baaaaad baaaaaad, was gonna be shoved down your throat. And, this was taped before the shootin' began.
Home shopping leaves next in f'ed up matching outfits. Like hot pink shirts and matching gym socks from the 80's. Plus, they have sparkly, jazzy hair shit. They go to a hotel to make travel arrangements. Plane leaves at 12:25 am. They decide to have a cuppa coffee while waiting for the concierge to make their arrangements. I thought this might bite them in the azzz but nope.
At the airport, instead of enjoying $20 cups of coffee, the Docs con a nice gentleman into buying them a travel guide to Korea. He's very charming. I'd have slept with him for a travel guide. Just sayin'.
The Tatts finally get out of time out and arrive at the airport just as the 12:25 am flight leaves. YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOO SCREWED NOW. They have a 9:30 am departure. Buh bye.
More political situation chatter. In South Korea. The Docs get lost. But find the bridge. They have to do river rafting, then find a humvee to take them to a MILITARY BASE. On the SOUTH KOREA SIDE I hope. Because, you know, NORTH KOREA is not a US ally. All 3 viable teams are close.
At the base, it's a roadblock. Martial arts training. Teams need to match a headband with KOREAN writing on it to one worn by a soldier. When they get the right one, the soldier will perform a KICK ASS martial arts action to break a board and provide the next clue. Thomas goes first and gets it right. Brooke gets it wrong once.
After this, teams have to find the World Cup Stadium in Seoul. THEY HAVE TO TAKE THE SUBWAY. Thomas finishes and they are off, Brooke finishes, then Kat. Jill and Thomas are on the first train. And, can I point out how GREAT the public transportation is in all of these countries?? Infrastructure, baby, infrastructure. HSN and the Docs are on the second train.
At the stadium, it's a Detour: full throttle or full bottle. In full throttle, teams must suit up and "speed" skate 24 laps. In full bottle teams must go to some market, deliver 6 giant ginseng roots in bottles.
Claire can't skate but agrees, kinda passively-aggressively if you ask me, to do the speed skating. THEY TAKE A CAB TO THE RINK. Jebuz ladies, can you NEVER read the clues?? They beat Jill and Thomas to the rink, and JT spend the rest of the show trying to figure out how they got there first.
Right about now the Tatts arrive in Seoul. I'm not even gonna cover them anymore, Toast.
HSN does the skate thing, followed quickly by Jill and Thomas. Find your next clue at Han Riverside Park-some airplane sculpture. Jill starts to ask people where the park is while Thomas yells at her, "You can't ask old people". WOW. I hope they don't win. HSN get to the park first: make your way to the Pitt.
HSN are first to arrive BUT they have incurred a 30 minutes penalty for taking the cab. They have to sit on the curb and wait.
Jill/Thomas get a lame cab driver. They decide to bolt to another cab. "Oh good, a YOUNG driver".
Jill and Thomas are team #1 and win a trip to Argentina. HSN are team #2 and ARE IN THE RACE TO BE THE FIRST ALL GIRL TEAM. Docs are team #3 and ARE IN THE RACE TO BE THE FIRST ALL GIRL TEAM TO WIN THE AMAZING RACE. They would also be the first doctor team, but whatever.
Tatts are pushed across the DMZ (drink) into NORTH KOREA and are now cleaning Kim Jong Ill's jeeps. Or that's what it looked like to me anyway. They are eeeeeeeliminated, In his losing interview, Boy Tatt says he is "a changed man" because of the race. Uhuh, he'll be back verbally abusing Girl Tatt within 24 hours.
CONGRATS TO THE FINALISTS AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Survivor Update: Warm and Dry at the Motel 6
Man OH man, was that not the BEST episode of this season??? I mean, C'mon even you men have to admit that a wet Jeff Probst is the best thing EVER. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I had to go back and take a picture of the TV during tribal. Holy hotness!!!!!!!! And, even my husband is happy since I found that Jeff Probst face mask at Halloween. HOURS OF FUN, let me tell you.
So, the show. And, for the record, I don't do rehash. We all paid attention over the many weeks, we don't need to see it all over again. And, frankly, there was too much rehash this week!! yadda yadda yadda, Brenda is gone. Move on.
9 left..... Kelly had no idea what was gonna happen last time around. Kelly is not really that bright. She's upset that Chase, NaO and Sash turned on her.
Holly is all now, one sleeve on, one sleeve off NOT INTO NAO. hahaha. "I didn't listen to Brenda when she was bad mouthing you last tribal, but I shoulda".
Chase and NaO want to blindside Sash. But, alas, today is gonna be about self imploding.
NaO hates rain and cold. Uhuh. I kinda remember some BITCH phys ed teacher, kinda named Miss Cook, who made us go out in the rain. So, SUCK ON IT. She's apparently anemic. hahaha. Kelly is just a pussy and is all crying about the weather. They're both squawking about quitting. Benry and Fabio (aka the brain trust)-Hey, let 'em both quit!!!
NaO must be serious, she gives the idol to Chase.
Medium Blue Challenge: It's a TOTAL CHEESY ASS MOVIE PROMOTION CHALLENGE. Pushing the new Jack Black movie, Gulliver's Travels. And, can I be frank?? Jeff cannot pronounce Gulliver correctly. ACK, a flaw!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the challenge is to drag a giant 8' Gulliver doll through an obstacle course. Wanna know what you're playing for?? The chance to see the movie, and contractually you need to like it, and eat movie shit.
2 Teams: Yellow is Fabio, Sash, Jane and Holly. Blue is Holly, NaO, Chase and Benry. Dan gets to chose and aligns himself with blue. He also gets to sit in a freakishly large chair.
Blue wins. NaO tells my honey she wants to quit. He's pissed ( and maybe not because he promised Mark Burnett a certain # of episodes). Anyone else? Kelly wants to quit too. Honey is really pissed. Ima gonna have to do that back flip thing he likes to cheer him up.
Jeff: NaO, you don't seem like a quitter...and Kelly, you gonna walk away too?? He ain't happy, gives them this afternoon to think about it. IN THE MEANTIME..... any of you winners (cough cough NaO) want to give up reward for a tarp and more rice for the tribe?? Dead silence. Holly gives it up. Chase tried to tell NaO to do it instead but nope. BITCH.
Back at camp, Holly is the hero. You rock!!! She talks to Kelly, 'you need to suck it up and try harder". Kelly: I'm cold and hungry. Holly: "I got your ass a tarp and rice" Kelly: I got nothing else to suck".
At the Cinema: why eat the damn no protein candy?? Pound the dogs in. Chase is not in the NaO fan club. They all rave about the confy chairs and pretend to like the movie. Benry wants NaO to go now.
Camp: Are Kelly and NaO changing their minds??? The sun is out...
Tribal: OMFG, JEFF IS SO DAMN WET AND HOT. I really do not care what happens as long as I can watch him for the next 15 minutes. Seriously.
Holly: When I wanted to quit Jimmy J helped me.
Jane: these young kids need to hang in there
NaO: Jeff when it rains my joints hurt (FYI Dan's face here was friggin priceless) She also says she's the only African American left. Like, what the fuck does that matter?? You're ass is gonna be the only AA to quit the game.
The jury is PISSED.
Kelly: the weather is making my skinny ASS body break down.
Benry: I don't like quitters
Fabio: is it an age thing?? No, it's a mental, willpower thing, Plus, Jeff, I'm too stupid to be cold.
NaO: Reward was GREAT, I loved today and loved going out with a bang.
Jeff: NaO, did you have a shot at winning? Yes, based upon my drive... my charm...
The Jury is laughing at her.
Jeff: I offered the tarp and rice, why didn't you take it NaO? Are you a selfish motherf*&ker? ( I love when Jeff talks dirty...)
NaO: No, I worked hard and deserved it.
Chase: I'd have given it up had I been quitting.
Jane: Life is hard, these young kids don't have a clue. They are showing no drive. People out in the real world are playing the real survivor game (AMEN SISTER).
Jeff: I'ma gonna ask your dumb asses one more time.
NaO I quit
Kelly I quit.
Jeff: what should I do with your torches? NaO "I guess they get SMUFFED Jeff. hahahahahha.
Jeff smuffs their torches but leaves them at tribal as a reminder. BUT THEY ARE ALLOWED TO JOIN THE JURY, WHICH IS BULLSHIT.
So, the show. And, for the record, I don't do rehash. We all paid attention over the many weeks, we don't need to see it all over again. And, frankly, there was too much rehash this week!! yadda yadda yadda, Brenda is gone. Move on.
9 left..... Kelly had no idea what was gonna happen last time around. Kelly is not really that bright. She's upset that Chase, NaO and Sash turned on her.
Holly is all now, one sleeve on, one sleeve off NOT INTO NAO. hahaha. "I didn't listen to Brenda when she was bad mouthing you last tribal, but I shoulda".
Chase and NaO want to blindside Sash. But, alas, today is gonna be about self imploding.
NaO hates rain and cold. Uhuh. I kinda remember some BITCH phys ed teacher, kinda named Miss Cook, who made us go out in the rain. So, SUCK ON IT. She's apparently anemic. hahaha. Kelly is just a pussy and is all crying about the weather. They're both squawking about quitting. Benry and Fabio (aka the brain trust)-Hey, let 'em both quit!!!
NaO must be serious, she gives the idol to Chase.
Medium Blue Challenge: It's a TOTAL CHEESY ASS MOVIE PROMOTION CHALLENGE. Pushing the new Jack Black movie, Gulliver's Travels. And, can I be frank?? Jeff cannot pronounce Gulliver correctly. ACK, a flaw!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the challenge is to drag a giant 8' Gulliver doll through an obstacle course. Wanna know what you're playing for?? The chance to see the movie, and contractually you need to like it, and eat movie shit.
2 Teams: Yellow is Fabio, Sash, Jane and Holly. Blue is Holly, NaO, Chase and Benry. Dan gets to chose and aligns himself with blue. He also gets to sit in a freakishly large chair.
Blue wins. NaO tells my honey she wants to quit. He's pissed ( and maybe not because he promised Mark Burnett a certain # of episodes). Anyone else? Kelly wants to quit too. Honey is really pissed. Ima gonna have to do that back flip thing he likes to cheer him up.
Jeff: NaO, you don't seem like a quitter...and Kelly, you gonna walk away too?? He ain't happy, gives them this afternoon to think about it. IN THE MEANTIME..... any of you winners (cough cough NaO) want to give up reward for a tarp and more rice for the tribe?? Dead silence. Holly gives it up. Chase tried to tell NaO to do it instead but nope. BITCH.
Back at camp, Holly is the hero. You rock!!! She talks to Kelly, 'you need to suck it up and try harder". Kelly: I'm cold and hungry. Holly: "I got your ass a tarp and rice" Kelly: I got nothing else to suck".
At the Cinema: why eat the damn no protein candy?? Pound the dogs in. Chase is not in the NaO fan club. They all rave about the confy chairs and pretend to like the movie. Benry wants NaO to go now.
Camp: Are Kelly and NaO changing their minds??? The sun is out...
Tribal: OMFG, JEFF IS SO DAMN WET AND HOT. I really do not care what happens as long as I can watch him for the next 15 minutes. Seriously.
Holly: When I wanted to quit Jimmy J helped me.
Jane: these young kids need to hang in there
NaO: Jeff when it rains my joints hurt (FYI Dan's face here was friggin priceless) She also says she's the only African American left. Like, what the fuck does that matter?? You're ass is gonna be the only AA to quit the game.
The jury is PISSED.
Kelly: the weather is making my skinny ASS body break down.
Benry: I don't like quitters
Fabio: is it an age thing?? No, it's a mental, willpower thing, Plus, Jeff, I'm too stupid to be cold.
NaO: Reward was GREAT, I loved today and loved going out with a bang.
Jeff: NaO, did you have a shot at winning? Yes, based upon my drive... my charm...
The Jury is laughing at her.
Jeff: I offered the tarp and rice, why didn't you take it NaO? Are you a selfish motherf*&ker? ( I love when Jeff talks dirty...)
NaO: No, I worked hard and deserved it.
Chase: I'd have given it up had I been quitting.
Jane: Life is hard, these young kids don't have a clue. They are showing no drive. People out in the real world are playing the real survivor game (AMEN SISTER).
Jeff: I'ma gonna ask your dumb asses one more time.
NaO I quit
Kelly I quit.
Jeff: what should I do with your torches? NaO "I guess they get SMUFFED Jeff. hahahahahha.
Jeff smuffs their torches but leaves them at tribal as a reminder. BUT THEY ARE ALLOWED TO JOIN THE JURY, WHICH IS BULLSHIT.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Survivor Update: Asians Don't Scramble
Yo yo yoooohooooo. How y'all doing on the Thanksgiving eve? House clean? Turkey thawed? Mine neither. But, shit, let's play a little Survivor Update instead of working.
This is the fun part of Survivor, when the obvious people are gone, and people have to start voting for their BFF's. You know, the ones they met 20-some days ago? Episode starts out with Brenda and Sash gloating about their POWA. Brenda says they are the king and queen of Survivor, although Sash is more like the queen. Metaphorical bolt of lightening whenever you see an episode start this way.
This is also the time in the game when people totally under the radar actually speak. In this week's excitement, Purple Kelly speaks!!! And, yes, I was kinda surprised she didn't sing, "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family".
Benry, Fabio and Dan are on the outs. I for one am shocked that Dan is still alive. Holly (WHAT THE F&*CK IS WITH HER SHIRT AND THE APPEARING/DISAPPEARING RIGHT SLEEVE?????????????) and Jane aren't happy with the power couple.
Drama:
Holly asks Benry how he can trust them
Jane tells NaO that Brenda is a Villain
Holly talks to Chase. He wants Benry.
AAAAGGGGHHHH.
Challenge. Jeff is in friggin GREEN?? WTF?? Didn't his blue wardrobe come back from the Nicaraguan cleaners?? Shoulda gone with the Koreans, Jeff. Just a tip.
Teams have to travel across the beach using barrels, ropes and planks. I'm only surprised they didn't have to go all in and dress like rodeo clowns. Wanna know what you're playing for? A trip to a volcano and a pizza/brownies fix. Ya know, call me crazy but why all the junk food?? Aren't they all afraid they're gonna get fat?
Blue team (Chase, Jane, Kelly, Fabio and NaO) easily win. Per Jeff to the Yellow team, lead by Sash: "If this were for life or death, you'd be dead".
They helicopter over to the volcano, put on orange prison garb and sled down the side of the volcano. Um, HOW DO YOU GET BACK UP??
Back at camp, disaster has struck. In an effort to keep the fire burning in the rain, the build it super high and surrounded it with wooden trunks full of their food and stuff. LOL. Reminds me of this girl who worked with me who had the worst luck. Her barn caught on fire and both she and her husband drove over to the barn, parked too close and watched their cars burn up too. I always wondered how that call to the insurance company went. Anywhoo. Big fire (actually set by the crew maybe??), even the tarp melted. Benry is losing it.
Back on the volcano, NaO makes her "power play" and pulls Fabio aside. "Who do you think is running the show??" They chat about getting rid of Brenda. Why these two get together is beyond me.
Chase and Brenda chat about Holly's plan to get rid of Brenda/Sash. Chase is a total pussy who cannot keep his mouth shut.
Chase tells NaO he wants Benry instead. NaO tells Benry you can't trust Chase. NaO tells Jane Chase is against getting rid of Brenda/Chase. Now Jane's not sure of Chase...thinks he wants in Brenda's pants. I'm not even going to go there that this old cougar might be jealous of that. NaO tells Holly, do not trust Chase.
Seriously, NaO is either 2 people or she is just playing crazy-ass.
Immunity Challenge: Light Blue. Stand on a platform over water, holding on to a knotted rope, and lean farther back every 5 minutes.
First out: Sash, Kelly, Holly...Brenda...Dan...Fabio...NaO... and Benry. It's down to Jane and Chase. Jane wants to quit but Coach Jeff (who I think spent a little bit of time with Jimmy J) talks her into holding on, and Chase falls. Jane wins immunity. She is one god dayam tough broad.
Back at camp: Chase and Sash want Benry. NaO talks to Sash, says Chase is on her last nerve. Wanna do a power play?
Chase is talking to Fabio, Holly comes up and says, "it's Brenda". Chase runs to Brenda clutching his little balls "They're saying it's you. NaO set it up". Brenda to Chase: "Do you think they are gonna be more loyal to you than we are??" Sash wonders if he should give the idol to Brenda to save her. Although he shoulda done his wondering holding his pinky between his front two teeth while holding a cat.
Tribal: Medium Blue. I was busy anyway.
Sash: I was surprised about Marty. Been a lot of reshuffling
Brenda: I regretted Marty but I had to prove I could be trusted. There's a break because NaO wants to jump ship
hahahah, when will these people learn not to talk smack about NaO at Tribal??
NaO: not me, Chase is running paranoid
Kelly SPEAKS!! I'm pretty out of the loop Jeff but I just learned a whole lot
Brenda: Why would Sash break the alliance? Or Chase tell me? It was NaO
Jeff: Brenda, are you scrambling this week?
Brenda: humumumumum, not scrambling, Asians do not scramble.
Jeff: Are you too proud to say scrambling?
Brenda: I'm Asian, we don't scramble.
Jeff: Sash, this is disastrous to your alliance.
Time to vote. Anyone have the idol and want to say, GIVE IT TO BRENDA?? Crickets......
Brenda is voted off the island.
This is the fun part of Survivor, when the obvious people are gone, and people have to start voting for their BFF's. You know, the ones they met 20-some days ago? Episode starts out with Brenda and Sash gloating about their POWA. Brenda says they are the king and queen of Survivor, although Sash is more like the queen. Metaphorical bolt of lightening whenever you see an episode start this way.
This is also the time in the game when people totally under the radar actually speak. In this week's excitement, Purple Kelly speaks!!! And, yes, I was kinda surprised she didn't sing, "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family".
Benry, Fabio and Dan are on the outs. I for one am shocked that Dan is still alive. Holly (WHAT THE F&*CK IS WITH HER SHIRT AND THE APPEARING/DISAPPEARING RIGHT SLEEVE?????????????) and Jane aren't happy with the power couple.
Drama:
Holly asks Benry how he can trust them
Jane tells NaO that Brenda is a Villain
Holly talks to Chase. He wants Benry.
AAAAGGGGHHHH.
Challenge. Jeff is in friggin GREEN?? WTF?? Didn't his blue wardrobe come back from the Nicaraguan cleaners?? Shoulda gone with the Koreans, Jeff. Just a tip.
Teams have to travel across the beach using barrels, ropes and planks. I'm only surprised they didn't have to go all in and dress like rodeo clowns. Wanna know what you're playing for? A trip to a volcano and a pizza/brownies fix. Ya know, call me crazy but why all the junk food?? Aren't they all afraid they're gonna get fat?
Blue team (Chase, Jane, Kelly, Fabio and NaO) easily win. Per Jeff to the Yellow team, lead by Sash: "If this were for life or death, you'd be dead".
They helicopter over to the volcano, put on orange prison garb and sled down the side of the volcano. Um, HOW DO YOU GET BACK UP??
Back at camp, disaster has struck. In an effort to keep the fire burning in the rain, the build it super high and surrounded it with wooden trunks full of their food and stuff. LOL. Reminds me of this girl who worked with me who had the worst luck. Her barn caught on fire and both she and her husband drove over to the barn, parked too close and watched their cars burn up too. I always wondered how that call to the insurance company went. Anywhoo. Big fire (actually set by the crew maybe??), even the tarp melted. Benry is losing it.
Back on the volcano, NaO makes her "power play" and pulls Fabio aside. "Who do you think is running the show??" They chat about getting rid of Brenda. Why these two get together is beyond me.
Chase and Brenda chat about Holly's plan to get rid of Brenda/Sash. Chase is a total pussy who cannot keep his mouth shut.
Chase tells NaO he wants Benry instead. NaO tells Benry you can't trust Chase. NaO tells Jane Chase is against getting rid of Brenda/Chase. Now Jane's not sure of Chase...thinks he wants in Brenda's pants. I'm not even going to go there that this old cougar might be jealous of that. NaO tells Holly, do not trust Chase.
Seriously, NaO is either 2 people or she is just playing crazy-ass.
Immunity Challenge: Light Blue. Stand on a platform over water, holding on to a knotted rope, and lean farther back every 5 minutes.
First out: Sash, Kelly, Holly...Brenda...Dan...Fabio...NaO... and Benry. It's down to Jane and Chase. Jane wants to quit but Coach Jeff (who I think spent a little bit of time with Jimmy J) talks her into holding on, and Chase falls. Jane wins immunity. She is one god dayam tough broad.
Back at camp: Chase and Sash want Benry. NaO talks to Sash, says Chase is on her last nerve. Wanna do a power play?
Chase is talking to Fabio, Holly comes up and says, "it's Brenda". Chase runs to Brenda clutching his little balls "They're saying it's you. NaO set it up". Brenda to Chase: "Do you think they are gonna be more loyal to you than we are??" Sash wonders if he should give the idol to Brenda to save her. Although he shoulda done his wondering holding his pinky between his front two teeth while holding a cat.
Tribal: Medium Blue. I was busy anyway.
Sash: I was surprised about Marty. Been a lot of reshuffling
Brenda: I regretted Marty but I had to prove I could be trusted. There's a break because NaO wants to jump ship
hahahah, when will these people learn not to talk smack about NaO at Tribal??
NaO: not me, Chase is running paranoid
Kelly SPEAKS!! I'm pretty out of the loop Jeff but I just learned a whole lot
Brenda: Why would Sash break the alliance? Or Chase tell me? It was NaO
Jeff: Brenda, are you scrambling this week?
Brenda: humumumumum, not scrambling, Asians do not scramble.
Jeff: Are you too proud to say scrambling?
Brenda: I'm Asian, we don't scramble.
Jeff: Sash, this is disastrous to your alliance.
Time to vote. Anyone have the idol and want to say, GIVE IT TO BRENDA?? Crickets......
Brenda is voted off the island.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Survivor: It's a 3 F-Bomb Tribal
Yo, why is this season a 39 day Survivor?? Didn't it used to be 30 days?
It's all Marty, all Jane feud all the time. NaO thinks Marty was too hard on Jane at the last tribal. Jane is now calling the jackass Mr. Farty. Yea, that'll tell him. Says his days are numbered. Probably are but I think Marty did plant some anti-Jane seeds the other week.
Marty: I cleared the air last night, now I need a plan. His plan is to tell everyone it's NaO to get her to use the idol, then blindside Jane. Jane would like to take him to the woodshed and whoop his ass. I think she could do it.
Challenge, light blue. It's for reward and THERE IS NO PUZZLE. That is my reward. Divided into 2 teams, they have to go through a bunch of obstacles and get keys, and then unlock locks. Wanna know what you're playing for? Survivor BBQ. Chicken, steak, chips, beer, apple pie. Oh, and a zipline tour. Teams randomly split into men vs women. Chase isn't chosen but chooses to back his new girlfriend/mother Jane.
Obstacles are 1) hay, 2) a crawl and then a stick wall, 3) a new crawl and then 4) a brick wall.
Jane poops out halfway through and men win reward. Purple Kelly is crying cause she needs some grub. Jeff: Any of you men want to give up your spot so one of these ladies can eat? Crickets...
Marty think Chase is an idiot for going with the ladies.
Zipline looks cool. And then they get their beer on. Marty tells everyone his big plan to blindside NaO. They all act like they like the plan, but Sash believes he and Brenda run the show so they should make the decisions.
Back at camp, the girls and Chase discuss getting rid of Marty. Brenda thinks Chase made a dumb choice, she's not too sure about his judgement. Holly thinks Dan and marty are tight and predicts that they will try to get Sash and Brenda to vote with them. Chase is worried about Brenda, NaO tells him "don't work on his nerves", so he goes right out and works on her nerves, asking her again and again what she's thinking.
NaO: Chase is paranoid. We night need to swap him out.
Tree mail: test of mental strength.
Challenge, dark blue. Love you too, honey. Immunity is up for grabs, but only one this week. Jeff holds up symbols and they have to remember the order. In the end it comes down to Marty and Brenda, and Brenda wins immunity.
If this is a boring update, frankly it was one of the more boring episodes in history.
Fabio and Benry chat. Is Marty's plan gonna work? We gotta just lay low and play stupid. Fabio: God, it is just so hard for me to play stupid. LOL.
Hey, anyone else notice that NaO is a PE Teacher? OMFG, how did I miss that? Can you friggin imagine?? "Get your damn ass up that rope to the ceiling".
Blah blah blah, Marty, Jane, Marty, Jane. Sash and Brenda talk. All the women want Marty. Brenda doesn't really like Jane, Holly and Chase calling the shots. They both kinda want Marty to stay.
Tribal, dark blue.
It's even a boring tribal until NaO gets her crazy on. Jeff asks her about the stolen food, and she basically tells him to stop F^%$ing asking about the damn food. It's over, I said I was sorry.
Marty: I hasn't gone down well, it isn't over
NaO: I'm not perfect! I'm a humanitarian (huh??), Jeff. I don't like Marty, his hair.....his walk...whole lot o'crazy talk and then woop woop woop. LOL.
Marty: She's a liar and a cheat
Fabio: Ooh, I gotta get in on this NaO beat down. She's a wack job
NaO: Stop talking about the f^&*^ing flour.
Fabio: Craaaaaazzzzzyyyyyy.
3 more F bombs and a middle finger and we're ready to vote.
Jeff:NaO, I am speechless that you can keep going off like this at tribal and you're still here.
NaO just gives him the mean face.
Vote, no idol play. Rut ro. Marty is voted off.
It's all Marty, all Jane feud all the time. NaO thinks Marty was too hard on Jane at the last tribal. Jane is now calling the jackass Mr. Farty. Yea, that'll tell him. Says his days are numbered. Probably are but I think Marty did plant some anti-Jane seeds the other week.
Marty: I cleared the air last night, now I need a plan. His plan is to tell everyone it's NaO to get her to use the idol, then blindside Jane. Jane would like to take him to the woodshed and whoop his ass. I think she could do it.
Challenge, light blue. It's for reward and THERE IS NO PUZZLE. That is my reward. Divided into 2 teams, they have to go through a bunch of obstacles and get keys, and then unlock locks. Wanna know what you're playing for? Survivor BBQ. Chicken, steak, chips, beer, apple pie. Oh, and a zipline tour. Teams randomly split into men vs women. Chase isn't chosen but chooses to back his new girlfriend/mother Jane.
Obstacles are 1) hay, 2) a crawl and then a stick wall, 3) a new crawl and then 4) a brick wall.
Jane poops out halfway through and men win reward. Purple Kelly is crying cause she needs some grub. Jeff: Any of you men want to give up your spot so one of these ladies can eat? Crickets...
Marty think Chase is an idiot for going with the ladies.
Zipline looks cool. And then they get their beer on. Marty tells everyone his big plan to blindside NaO. They all act like they like the plan, but Sash believes he and Brenda run the show so they should make the decisions.
Back at camp, the girls and Chase discuss getting rid of Marty. Brenda thinks Chase made a dumb choice, she's not too sure about his judgement. Holly thinks Dan and marty are tight and predicts that they will try to get Sash and Brenda to vote with them. Chase is worried about Brenda, NaO tells him "don't work on his nerves", so he goes right out and works on her nerves, asking her again and again what she's thinking.
NaO: Chase is paranoid. We night need to swap him out.
Tree mail: test of mental strength.
Challenge, dark blue. Love you too, honey. Immunity is up for grabs, but only one this week. Jeff holds up symbols and they have to remember the order. In the end it comes down to Marty and Brenda, and Brenda wins immunity.
If this is a boring update, frankly it was one of the more boring episodes in history.
Fabio and Benry chat. Is Marty's plan gonna work? We gotta just lay low and play stupid. Fabio: God, it is just so hard for me to play stupid. LOL.
Hey, anyone else notice that NaO is a PE Teacher? OMFG, how did I miss that? Can you friggin imagine?? "Get your damn ass up that rope to the ceiling".
Blah blah blah, Marty, Jane, Marty, Jane. Sash and Brenda talk. All the women want Marty. Brenda doesn't really like Jane, Holly and Chase calling the shots. They both kinda want Marty to stay.
Tribal, dark blue.
It's even a boring tribal until NaO gets her crazy on. Jeff asks her about the stolen food, and she basically tells him to stop F^%$ing asking about the damn food. It's over, I said I was sorry.
Marty: I hasn't gone down well, it isn't over
NaO: I'm not perfect! I'm a humanitarian (huh??), Jeff. I don't like Marty, his hair.....his walk...whole lot o'crazy talk and then woop woop woop. LOL.
Marty: She's a liar and a cheat
Fabio: Ooh, I gotta get in on this NaO beat down. She's a wack job
NaO: Stop talking about the f^&*^ing flour.
Fabio: Craaaaaazzzzzyyyyyy.
3 more F bombs and a middle finger and we're ready to vote.
Jeff:NaO, I am speechless that you can keep going off like this at tribal and you're still here.
NaO just gives him the mean face.
Vote, no idol play. Rut ro. Marty is voted off.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Survivor: All Blue All the Time!!
So have y'all noticed Jeff ONLY wears blue this season? Light blue, medium and the most famous, dark blue. Dude is totally obsessed with me, I tell you.
Marty has no friends, no idol and the vultures are circling (literally). "Something's gotta change or I'm gone..."
Fabio finds tree mail-pack up all your stuff and follow the map. MERGE!!! Espada gets the trunk. Knives are already out, baby. Benry: Alina's time is up. Alina wants a major blindsiding of Marty-who's with me? Crickets...
Merge. Inside the trunk is food, new red buffs and booze. Let the fake love fest begin! NaO and Brenda take a walk and unload on each other.
Alina's a total bitch". "Sash has the idol".
New tribe is called Libertad. Hey y'all. What would you name your merged tribe? Hmmmmm. I'd go with Stinksalot. So, in fact, I refuse to call them anything BUT Stinksalot.
Hey, on another aside, McRib is back!! Yes, I do sometimes even make notes about the commercials.
Chase and Jane twang and click. They live in the same holler apparently. Seriously I am waiting for the announcement that Jane has been arrested as the major moonshine and drug seller in the region.
And, the moment we've all been waiting for!!
NaOHHELLSHEISCRAZYASS is making tortillas, and everyone is eating them, cause that's the whole point of making food for people. But I digress. She doesn't get many tortillas and flips OUT. She steals the flour and buries it and them goes back for the pots and pans too. LOL. Holly, of the expensive shoe incident, notices her go.
Alina and NaO are sitting talking on the beach and NaO tells Alina that the tribe is gunning for her. Alina goes all apeshit, well as apeshit as a white girl can get. NaO gives her an orange to calm down and tells her about the stuff she stole.
Meanwhile back at camp, "Where is all of our SHIT?? Holly confronts NaO: "Did you put the flour back after you put it in your bag and walked off" "What you talking 'bout BIATCH" NaO has a fight with Fabio, still denying it all and Alina keeps her yap closed. Later NaO confesses but says she did it for the tribe because I guess some of them were getting a little heavy. "Everyone lies in Survivor". Says Alina and I were together, hanging Alina. Marty doesn't believe she did it for the tribe of Stinksalot.
Brenda still wants Alina gone but NaO is on the outs. Sash now really wants to take NaO to the end.
Jane brings another fish to camp, and Marty is threatened by her. He tells Brenda Jane has to go.
Challenge: Come on in guys! (Medium Blue). It's an immunity challenge, boys and girls each get an immunity idol. They have to hold 2 pieces of steal with a sword thing in between it. If you drop the sword you break another tile. They hate pottery and tiles in this damn show.
Kelly and Dan each last like 3 seconds. It comes down to Jane and Holly for the girl immunity, and Marty, Fabio and Chase for the boys. Jane outlasts Holly but decided to make a point and stay in until the boys are done as well. She is one tough old bird. Fabio hands in and wins immunity.
Back at camp, the girls give Jane big hugs. She whispers "I want Marty" and not in a good holler sexual way. So the girls tell Sash they want Marty gone. Chase and Jane talk, she tells him it's Marty. Sash is worried if he doesn't give the idol back to Marty, at the end Marty will hold that against him. Asks if Marty could have one more week and then go? Jane and Chase don't want to go along with that, but Brenda is OK. Jane refuses to vote for Alina. Dan doesn't trust Chase, tells Marty. Marty talks to Sash and Brenda, but Sash just writes Marty off as paranoid.
The gaggle of girls now try to get Fabio to vote with them. With Alina, we'd have 6 for Marty. Fabio wants NaO (hellllloooooo!!! yes!!!!!)
Tribal. Dark Blue, BRB.
Holly: is the game starting to change? Yes, you now have to take a risk
Marty: Is the window of opportunity limited? Yes, and since you asked me Jeff, Jane has made bad decisions since 30 minutes into this game. Be careful of the little old lady, she'll take the million. I'd even vote for her.
Jane-ignore him, it's a personal vendetta
Alina: did marty just hurt himself? Um yes Jeff I believe he did.
Dan: WTF?? Why are we not talking about voting the 2 people who stole our damn food?
NaO: Oh, get over it I gave it back.
Fabio: you only gave it back when caught.
NaO: But I already been punished. Nobody talked to me for an hour
Alina: why should you stay? I'm a swing vote pawn, Jeff.
Apparently not anymore. First person on the Jury is Alina.
Marty has no friends, no idol and the vultures are circling (literally). "Something's gotta change or I'm gone..."
Fabio finds tree mail-pack up all your stuff and follow the map. MERGE!!! Espada gets the trunk. Knives are already out, baby. Benry: Alina's time is up. Alina wants a major blindsiding of Marty-who's with me? Crickets...
Merge. Inside the trunk is food, new red buffs and booze. Let the fake love fest begin! NaO and Brenda take a walk and unload on each other.
Alina's a total bitch". "Sash has the idol".
New tribe is called Libertad. Hey y'all. What would you name your merged tribe? Hmmmmm. I'd go with Stinksalot. So, in fact, I refuse to call them anything BUT Stinksalot.
Hey, on another aside, McRib is back!! Yes, I do sometimes even make notes about the commercials.
Chase and Jane twang and click. They live in the same holler apparently. Seriously I am waiting for the announcement that Jane has been arrested as the major moonshine and drug seller in the region.
And, the moment we've all been waiting for!!
NaOHHELLSHEISCRAZYASS is making tortillas, and everyone is eating them, cause that's the whole point of making food for people. But I digress. She doesn't get many tortillas and flips OUT. She steals the flour and buries it and them goes back for the pots and pans too. LOL. Holly, of the expensive shoe incident, notices her go.
Alina and NaO are sitting talking on the beach and NaO tells Alina that the tribe is gunning for her. Alina goes all apeshit, well as apeshit as a white girl can get. NaO gives her an orange to calm down and tells her about the stuff she stole.
Meanwhile back at camp, "Where is all of our SHIT?? Holly confronts NaO: "Did you put the flour back after you put it in your bag and walked off" "What you talking 'bout BIATCH" NaO has a fight with Fabio, still denying it all and Alina keeps her yap closed. Later NaO confesses but says she did it for the tribe because I guess some of them were getting a little heavy. "Everyone lies in Survivor". Says Alina and I were together, hanging Alina. Marty doesn't believe she did it for the tribe of Stinksalot.
Brenda still wants Alina gone but NaO is on the outs. Sash now really wants to take NaO to the end.
Jane brings another fish to camp, and Marty is threatened by her. He tells Brenda Jane has to go.
Challenge: Come on in guys! (Medium Blue). It's an immunity challenge, boys and girls each get an immunity idol. They have to hold 2 pieces of steal with a sword thing in between it. If you drop the sword you break another tile. They hate pottery and tiles in this damn show.
Kelly and Dan each last like 3 seconds. It comes down to Jane and Holly for the girl immunity, and Marty, Fabio and Chase for the boys. Jane outlasts Holly but decided to make a point and stay in until the boys are done as well. She is one tough old bird. Fabio hands in and wins immunity.
Back at camp, the girls give Jane big hugs. She whispers "I want Marty" and not in a good holler sexual way. So the girls tell Sash they want Marty gone. Chase and Jane talk, she tells him it's Marty. Sash is worried if he doesn't give the idol back to Marty, at the end Marty will hold that against him. Asks if Marty could have one more week and then go? Jane and Chase don't want to go along with that, but Brenda is OK. Jane refuses to vote for Alina. Dan doesn't trust Chase, tells Marty. Marty talks to Sash and Brenda, but Sash just writes Marty off as paranoid.
The gaggle of girls now try to get Fabio to vote with them. With Alina, we'd have 6 for Marty. Fabio wants NaO (hellllloooooo!!! yes!!!!!)
Tribal. Dark Blue, BRB.
Holly: is the game starting to change? Yes, you now have to take a risk
Marty: Is the window of opportunity limited? Yes, and since you asked me Jeff, Jane has made bad decisions since 30 minutes into this game. Be careful of the little old lady, she'll take the million. I'd even vote for her.
Jane-ignore him, it's a personal vendetta
Alina: did marty just hurt himself? Um yes Jeff I believe he did.
Dan: WTF?? Why are we not talking about voting the 2 people who stole our damn food?
NaO: Oh, get over it I gave it back.
Fabio: you only gave it back when caught.
NaO: But I already been punished. Nobody talked to me for an hour
Alina: why should you stay? I'm a swing vote pawn, Jeff.
Apparently not anymore. First person on the Jury is Alina.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Survivor: Celebrity Envy
Spoiler alert-they got rid of Mike Ditka tonight. LOL. Seriously, because you know an old, out of shape dude is a huge ass threat just because he is on the teevee every week. Ah, the superpower of celebrity in Amerika.
After tribal, when the young people allowed Shannon to commit Survivor suicide, they all walk back to camp saying, "Whew, dodged a whole lot of crazy tonight". All except the evil Nao, who is currently pissed off at Alina, Kelly B and Judd. In addition to Fabio of course, whose "hair be gettin on my nerves".
The old people are hungry. And, they need a little more fiber in their diets so, they decide to find out what the heck the monkeys are eating. They follow them to find some fruit, and JJ does his monkey imitation. Which totally pisses the easily aggravated (see the need for fiber above) Marty. He gets even more pissed off when he sees JJ and the ladies enjoying fishing. Thinks every one has fame glitter in their eyes. Jill tries to calm him down, and suggests they share the fact that they found the idol with the tribe to gain some power. Later in the afternoon Marty shows his find, and everyone is all impressed (helllo, Jill really found it). He tells them it's for the whole tribe to use after the merge. Riiiiiight. Marty the MAAAAN. Tyrone, however, thinks Marty is shady. It's Survivor, everyone is shady.
Fabio, of the hateful hair, is missing his daily inhalation of weed, so he volunteers to blow on the coals every chance he gets. It's his strategy. LOL. Blowing as a strategy-never heard that one before... He wants to be kept around for his brain. NaONOYOUDIDNT is pissed.
Dan-the-1600-shoe-man is afraid people will think he is the weakest link (hey, whatever happened to that TV sensation?). He helps Yve carry water buckets and she notices he is limping.
Over at Baywatch, and FYI every week Wil says, "Christ, is this Survivor Victoria Secret??" Of course, in my house anything not made out of sweatshirt material is considered sexy clothing. "Tribal drew a line in the sand". Alina and KB feel they are on the outs. NaOHNOYOUDIDNT wants those bitches to go.
Challenge, Jeff is in Dark Blue. Be back in a couple hours. No dancing tonight! Both tribes will race out into a field to collect ten tribe colored barrels. Once all ten barrels are retrieved, they must be arranged on individual platforms. Then one person at a time from each tribe will toss sand bags at the barrels with the goal of landing a sand bag on top of each barrel. First tribe to get a sandbag on top of all ten of their barrels wins immunity and reward. Wanna know what you're playing for?? A Survivor garden!! So you can make those disgusting meals taste better. (I think Fabio misunderstood what HERB garden means...) The younger tribe chooses not to use the Medallion of POWAA. "We're arrogant MFers".
Young tribe gets all of their barrels first. Tyrone is throwing and beating Benry. Tryone is good at the close up barrels. But not so much at the farther away ones. JT begs to be let in the game. JJ lets him in when they are 3 bags behind. Young tribe wins immunity. Kelly B runs for the fruit basket, because she thinks the second idol clue will be in there. NaOHNOYOUDIDNT sees the message as well. She grabs the basket, and once back at camp the two get into a BIG ASS fight over the clue. "I'll push you so hard that leg will fall off. I got hood". She also gets the clue. Everyone is pretty appalled at what a crazy ASS chick NaO is. She has to get someone else to help her with the clue 'cause apparently symbol reading isn't taught in the Hood schools. She shares it with the Asian chick 'cause everyone knows they are skilled at symbols.
Jimmy T is pissed off. “The guys that are leaders here are squelching me because I’m an obvious leader and they know it.” Marty is loving it: “It’s kind of enjoyable to watch a little bit of tension for a change in this tribe. I hate to say it but I’m looking forward to Tribal Council. We’re finally going to get this tribe to play this game.”
Should it be JJ or shouldn't it? Over and over and over a-friggin-gain.
Tribal: Light blue.
Marty, what happened? We lost ground, Jeff.
JT: "I wanted play time"
Jill, are you guys relying too much on JJ for strategy? Sometimes...
Hormonal: "JJ steps forward and boosts morale
JT: Me and JJ have never talked
Jeff: 8 days and you have never talked??
JT: I'm a leader myself
Tyrone: It is baffling to me Jeff, I think JT is threatened
JJ: I'm not threatening
Jill: The losses weigh a lot, we need a strong tribe
Dan: I'm strong
Jill: You're still and sore.
Jane: Dan is stiff and sore (is that a crime??)
JT: The tribe needs the strongest players. I'm not week like 3/4 of these people
JJ I'm old and weak (shhhhhhh)
Marty: I want to accelerate the game.
They vote and Jimmy J is back on Sunday football before you know it.
Jeff: You just voted off the proven leader...
After tribal, when the young people allowed Shannon to commit Survivor suicide, they all walk back to camp saying, "Whew, dodged a whole lot of crazy tonight". All except the evil Nao, who is currently pissed off at Alina, Kelly B and Judd. In addition to Fabio of course, whose "hair be gettin on my nerves".
The old people are hungry. And, they need a little more fiber in their diets so, they decide to find out what the heck the monkeys are eating. They follow them to find some fruit, and JJ does his monkey imitation. Which totally pisses the easily aggravated (see the need for fiber above) Marty. He gets even more pissed off when he sees JJ and the ladies enjoying fishing. Thinks every one has fame glitter in their eyes. Jill tries to calm him down, and suggests they share the fact that they found the idol with the tribe to gain some power. Later in the afternoon Marty shows his find, and everyone is all impressed (helllo, Jill really found it). He tells them it's for the whole tribe to use after the merge. Riiiiiight. Marty the MAAAAN. Tyrone, however, thinks Marty is shady. It's Survivor, everyone is shady.
Fabio, of the hateful hair, is missing his daily inhalation of weed, so he volunteers to blow on the coals every chance he gets. It's his strategy. LOL. Blowing as a strategy-never heard that one before... He wants to be kept around for his brain. NaONOYOUDIDNT is pissed.
Dan-the-1600-shoe-man is afraid people will think he is the weakest link (hey, whatever happened to that TV sensation?). He helps Yve carry water buckets and she notices he is limping.
Over at Baywatch, and FYI every week Wil says, "Christ, is this Survivor Victoria Secret??" Of course, in my house anything not made out of sweatshirt material is considered sexy clothing. "Tribal drew a line in the sand". Alina and KB feel they are on the outs. NaOHNOYOUDIDNT wants those bitches to go.
Challenge, Jeff is in Dark Blue. Be back in a couple hours. No dancing tonight! Both tribes will race out into a field to collect ten tribe colored barrels. Once all ten barrels are retrieved, they must be arranged on individual platforms. Then one person at a time from each tribe will toss sand bags at the barrels with the goal of landing a sand bag on top of each barrel. First tribe to get a sandbag on top of all ten of their barrels wins immunity and reward. Wanna know what you're playing for?? A Survivor garden!! So you can make those disgusting meals taste better. (I think Fabio misunderstood what HERB garden means...) The younger tribe chooses not to use the Medallion of POWAA. "We're arrogant MFers".
Young tribe gets all of their barrels first. Tyrone is throwing and beating Benry. Tryone is good at the close up barrels. But not so much at the farther away ones. JT begs to be let in the game. JJ lets him in when they are 3 bags behind. Young tribe wins immunity. Kelly B runs for the fruit basket, because she thinks the second idol clue will be in there. NaOHNOYOUDIDNT sees the message as well. She grabs the basket, and once back at camp the two get into a BIG ASS fight over the clue. "I'll push you so hard that leg will fall off. I got hood". She also gets the clue. Everyone is pretty appalled at what a crazy ASS chick NaO is. She has to get someone else to help her with the clue 'cause apparently symbol reading isn't taught in the Hood schools. She shares it with the Asian chick 'cause everyone knows they are skilled at symbols.
Jimmy T is pissed off. “The guys that are leaders here are squelching me because I’m an obvious leader and they know it.” Marty is loving it: “It’s kind of enjoyable to watch a little bit of tension for a change in this tribe. I hate to say it but I’m looking forward to Tribal Council. We’re finally going to get this tribe to play this game.”
Should it be JJ or shouldn't it? Over and over and over a-friggin-gain.
Tribal: Light blue.
Marty, what happened? We lost ground, Jeff.
JT: "I wanted play time"
Jill, are you guys relying too much on JJ for strategy? Sometimes...
Hormonal: "JJ steps forward and boosts morale
JT: Me and JJ have never talked
Jeff: 8 days and you have never talked??
JT: I'm a leader myself
Tyrone: It is baffling to me Jeff, I think JT is threatened
JJ: I'm not threatening
Jill: The losses weigh a lot, we need a strong tribe
Dan: I'm strong
Jill: You're still and sore.
Jane: Dan is stiff and sore (is that a crime??)
JT: The tribe needs the strongest players. I'm not week like 3/4 of these people
JJ I'm old and weak (shhhhhhh)
Marty: I want to accelerate the game.
They vote and Jimmy J is back on Sunday football before you know it.
Jeff: You just voted off the proven leader...
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