Amazing Race Week 3

Hootergate! This episode starts with the strangest accusations I've heard since my last McCain robocall. Christy accuses Starr of pushing her sports bra off the ledge at the last pitt stop. Christy and Kelly vow revenge. Um, I didn't think Christy's boobs were so big that the lack of a sports bra would disqualify them, but I maybe it was her lucky sports bra?

Teams must now fly to La Paz (not to be confused with La Pez, where everyone's neck spits out candy), which Phil informs us IS LITERALLLY BREATHTAKING. Once in La Paz, they have to find one of the many Simon Bolivar statues and wait for the morning paper delivery.

No airport drama this time around so we get lots if time for the teams to give their interviews. I go and get another beer at this point. Teams arrive in La Paz and find the traffic island with the Simon Bolivar statue. You know it's the right one because a woman IN WHAT IS TRADITIONAL BOLIVIAN GARB CIRCA 1950 hands them an AUTHENTIC BOLIVIAN BLANKET and they all settle down for a homeless sleepover.

Morning and everyone is putting on makeup and getting all gelled up for another day on TV. Nick takes the divorcees aside and tries to smooth things over with them related to hootergate. You immediately see WHY Christy and Kelly are divorced, when they still think Starr de-bra'd them at the last pitt stop. Nick walks away, no doubt muttering "bit^&s".

Sarah and Terence have decided to do a manage a trois and bring in a local girl to share in their miserable relationship. The newspapers are delivered and teams have to paw through the spanish newspapers to find the ad, IN A BOX AND IN ENGLISH, of a hat sale. Hmmm, that's rough. Teams have to make their way to a hat and shoe store and buy a TRADITIONAL CHOLITA HAT. Andrew and Dan find it first and jump in a cab, reading out loud "please hold on to your hat", ominously... The southern belles can't read and can't give the newspaper candy so they are the last to figure it out.

Detour: Music March or Bumpy Ride. "In Musical March, teams had to make their way on foot to two plazas several blocks apart where they needed to collect musicians and form a band. Then they had to make their way to Plaza Abaroa and exchange the band members for their next clue. In Bumpy Ride, teams made their way on foot to Mercado de las Brujas where they had to ride a locally crafted bicycle in a harrowing, bone rattling trip down cobblestone streets to Plaza Abaroa" (I'm just cutting and pasting that whole paragraph from cbs.com).

Locally crafted means "hewn" (I always wanted to use that word) out of wood. Actually they look like what Ax-murders get to do on craft day in prison. Andrew and Dan chose to make music together and TAKE OFF ON FOOT AS THE CLUE INSTRUCTS". Terence and Sarah jump in a cab to do the detour. Ooooooh. Good thing they have a spanish interpreter to help them out with the English clues. Mark and Bill miss that part as well and take a cab to the bike thing. Terence and Sarah read the clue in the cab, FREAK THE HELL OUT, and go back and walk on foot.

Music March: Andrew and Dan, Marissa and Brooke
Bikes: MARK/BILL, TERENCE/SARAH, KELLY/CHRISTY, TONI/DALLAS, NICK/STARR, KEN/TINA, TY/AJA

Anyone get why the bike riders have to wear helmets with feathers? I must have missed that part. What I didn't miss was the bad Karma getting beat out of Christy as she fell and SLAMMED her head against a wall while doing the bike challenge. (Becky-nice to hear you waited until you knew she was OK before laughing. I'm not that nice, obviously...). Mark is also almost killed when his "bike" careens through and intersection and is saved by a driver avoiding him. I expected the next Travelocity commercial to be all about their new "travel insurance".

Both detours arrive at the same plaza where a detour is waiting. (I'd explain what a detour is but Phil does a much better job) Also at the detour is the next clue directing them to Los Titanes Del Ring.

I have to hand it to Dallas and his mom. She is a real trooper and in pretty good shape. He lets her rest for a minute after completing the bike detour.

Arriving at Plaza , Nick & Starr propositioned Ty & Aja to U-turn Kelly & Christy.

The Cheaters arrive at Los titanes Del Ring and find out it's a ROADBLOCK. One team member has to hand over the hat to a lovely woman wrestler and then don tights and learn how to faux wrestle. Since the roadblock says, "who's ready for a fight", Ken heartily agrees. Ken looks really, um, like he's not going to be getting as many cheating opportunities once this clip is shown. He quickly learns the tricks and wrestles in front of the crowd. Tina is enjoying seeing him look like an idiot. They finish are receive their next clue to go to the Pitt stop. Although Ken made it look easy, a couple of the others have problems and have to go back for retraining.

Terence and Sarah see a red and yellow flag and have their cab driver stop while they investigate a local football game.

Waiting for Ty to wrestle, Aja walked up to Christy and told her that Starr asked them to U-turn Kelly & Christy. Hootergate is ON, baby.

Mark took 3 tries and a whiff of oxygen to finish the task.

Cheaters arrive first and a trip to Cabo, where Tina can continue her passive aggressive punishment. Apparently there's no penalty for Ken stealing the shirt, and I'm assuming the tights, from the wrestling roadblock.

Mark and Bill arrive at the Pitt Stop in 8th place, but receive a 30 minute penalty. Kelly and Christy step on the mat expecting to be eliminated but Phil is pleased to tell them that because of the penalty, they are in 8th place and have not been eliminated. Mark and Bill, on the other hand, are eliminated.