Survivor: Children at Waaaar!

Welcome back to the Survivor weekly update!  Hope you are all doing well and are keeping yourself busy.  After all, as the bible says, idol hands lead to dead husbands/wives.  

Michelle is PISSED OFF.  She was left in the dark about Wendell going to exile.  Yes, she wanted her former lover (or as he called it, we just kickin it) voted off but she is still PISSED they didn't trust her.  She and Nick go all I HATE THESE PEOPLE!!  Nick says, ME TOOOOO AND I'M NEXT!!  He says he's gonna LET THEM HAVE IT AND GET ON THE BLOOD TRAIN.  Which frankly always goes down better when you're not wearing a Brooks Brothers navy blazer.  Tony tries to talk him down and be the voice of reason but Nick is all OUT FOR REVENGE.  

Michelle talks to the other social outcast, Adam.  He says tribal was really scary for him but he's still there.  Michelle says that THEY ARE ALL DINGBATS.  Adam says that it might be an opportunity and tells her he noticed there was a fleur de lis on the podium, which is the same symbol that was on the idol he saw and he thinks it might be a REAL idol (he also thinks he might be a REAL BOY), and ho boy wouldn't that be an epic way to save himself!  Note:  The Fleur De Lis is also the symbol of the New Orleans Saints but that too is just a coincidence and the NO Saints do not provide immunity.  

Over on Edge it's yoga on the beach time.  Fun!!  Who wouldn't want to spend a month on a yoga retreat relaxing on the beach!  Yul finds a box with little scrolls for everyone that has a clue;  Step back and assess, sometimes when history repeats itself it can lead to success.  And then everyone runs around looking for fire tokens.  People run up the "mountain" to look, and then Natalie decides they should split up because whatever it is can be spent on FOOD and she doesn't want the newbies Yul or Wendell to get any more food.  Parv and Danni go off by themselves and Danni remembers from a former season Aubry looking up the steps and seeing a cave with the idol.  They rush down and find the clue.  It's a coin flip that they can sell to anybody for an amount they chose.  They decide Michelle has the most fire tokens and decide to sell it to her for 4 tokens.  The rest of their gang finds them and they admit they have the clue and now they'll have to split the peanut butter with 6 other dirty poop under the fingernails hands.  Yea, no thanks!!

Reward Challenge:  2 teams of 5, one person sits out and has no chance.  Swim out to a net with fish on it, take the fish off of the net and hang it on a long fishing pole, Carry the pole to the puzzle station and do the puzzle.  Wanna know?  Chinese take out.  So, fake American-Chinese food flown thousands of miles to Asia.  Yum!!  They don't even try to bring in the culture of the places they are inhabiting anymore.  

2 teams:  Red: Tyson, Adam, Tony, Nick and Jeremy vs Blue: Kim, Sandra, Ben, Sarah, Michelle.   Denise isn't picked.  Bottom line, Blue wins the reward.  Sarah asks if she can give her spot to Nick.  She claims she was just being a decent human being because it was his birthday the day before.  

Back at camp everyone claims it was a huge mistake.  Adam says it puts a target on her back and Tony pulls her aside to tell her it was a stupid decision because she 'got caught up in the moment"  and being human on Survivor could cost you the game.  

Jeremy, Adam and Denise agree it was TOTAL GAME PLAY.  Jeremy thinks she should go because of it.  

The winners eat their cold greasy leftovers and open all of the fortune cookies looking for clues.  Michelle gets one that says "don't be afraid to take the step".  Michelle them returns to camp and finds the 50/50 coin in her bag and has to decide whether it's worth all of her fire tokens.  She throws it a few times to "test it" (lol) and decides to buy it.  

Immunity Challenge:  It's the stand on the floating triangle/dog house thingy challenge.  And about half way through we are introduced to the new smash hit theme song, WINNERS AT WAAAAAR.  Kim wins the challenge and has immunity.  

Kim says it's an EASY vote split between Nick and Adam as long as the big group STICKS TOGETHER.  And then the proverbial shit is thrown directly into the fan.  

Everyone is running around crazy.  Nick tells Tyson that Sophie is throwing his name out there.  Jeremy and Tyson confer and decide Adam.  or Sophie....or maybe SARAH.  They tell Michelle it's Sarah and she's1000% in.  

Denise tells Kim it's now maybe Sarah.  

Kim tells Tyson she doesn't want Sarah.  Tyson tells her Adam is the one pushing Sarah, and he's more dangerous.  

Michelle tells Tyson they've changed to Adam.  Jeremy is like WHAT THE HELL?

Tyson tells Tony that Adam was pushing Sarah.  Tony says that's a big mistake, brother, and he'll learn.

Ben confronts Adam and asks him who said he and Sarah were too close.  Adam says, presidentially, "a lot of people say that".  Ben demands, DID YOU SAY THAT??  Adam is all hum um hum um and Ben walks away.  Adam says what does it matter?  And Ben says it matters to him and he keeps walking away.

(JESUS THIS IS LIKE BLOGGING A DAY IN PRESCHOOL)

Adam is now mad because Ben talks to him like he's a child and he plays just the same as Rob.  He's PISSED OFF NOW.

Nick ask Jeremy if his name is out there and Jeremy says yes.

Ben tells Tony that Michelle told me you said me.  Ben is like an old woman.  

Tyson and Michelle are still saying Sarah.

Everyone is all WHO ARE WE VOTING FOR???  

Adam decides he has to go for that podium idol.  

Tribal

Whew.  And just when I thought the whole WHO ARE WE VOTING FOR thing was over it's just beginning....

Sarah says this has been a cagey game with lots of blindsides but it's not cagey anymore!  She says names are flying everywhere and it's now a save yourself solo game.

Tyson agrees that everyone was running around

Jeremy ways it was like a fire on one side of a highway and then WOOSH it jumps the highway and the wind picks it up.  He says he's never seen anything like it.

Nick says there are the easy votes being thrown around,him. Tyson and Adam.  And then there were other names.  He says he's tired of not being treated like a player and he's ready to join someone (and then people just start talking to each other)

And in the middle of everyone talking Ben and Adam get into it.  Ben says this is just like camp all over again.  

Adam says Ben wouldn't talk to him.  Ben says he asked him a question and he refused to answer.  Adam says he wasn't going to throw someone under the bus. 

The jury discuss how paranoid Ben is

Adam says he's had Ben's back and Ben asks HAVE YOU??

Adam asks why people keep voting for him, suggests Ben is telling people to vote for him.  

Ben says Adam creates chaos.  Asks Adam how many times he's had to say "sorry" to people

Adam says he's being a player but if he thinks someone is coming after him...

Ben brings up the tribal when they blindsided Rob

Adam says he's doing what he has to do .  

I'm wondering if we can vote BOTH OF THESE PUSSIES OFF

Adam asks the group WHO ARE YOU ALL WRITING DOWN??

Tony says we already told you

Adam WHO ARE YOU ALL VOTING FOR??

Tony says "should we just say it now?  We go up to the little room. we write down a name, we vote and Jeff reads the vote"

Adam says I'M CONCERNED IT'S MEEEEE..... (Shit if it wasn't before it should be now...)

Jeff says, so Nick, that all felt like war...

Nick says yea but now I trust my place better...

Adam says but if he thinks that way NOW I'M WORRIED IT'S MEEEEEEEEE.  IS IT MEEEEE??

Dead

Silence.

Time to vote!  Any idols?  Adam gets up and tries to pull the fleur de lis off of the Jeff-stand.  It doesn't move.  He says I guess it's not an idol.  Jeff says, "You're convinced it's not??"  Adam gets all excited and says I WANT TO PLAY THAT PIECE OF DECORATION.  Jeff says that would be historic if that was an idol.  That...is.....NOT AN IDOL.  LOL!!!

Sarah gets 1 vote, Nick gets one and Adam is off to exile!  He gives Denise his token and says "screw you" to the rest.  

Survivor Merge Week!

Happy Wednesday and welcome to the MERGE WEEK UPDATE, when WE START REALLY REALLY PLAYING SURVIVOR!  Hey, anyone know how they are going to handle the finale??  More locked down than the last one I guess because the virus is way worse than just having s sexual predator hanging around.  

So we start this MERGE WEEK at the Edge and it's RETURN CHALLENGE DAY.  Everyone is using their fire tokens to buy advantages and I swear Natalie says something about buying immunity but no idea what that means.  Amber gives her tokens to Rob.  

At the challenge all of the remaining players WHO ARE NEW SCHOOL come in.  Drop your buffs!  Ben repeats, just to grate on my already bad nerves that "this is where the battle begins".  GRRRR.  

C'mon in Exile!  All of the OLD SCHOOL players hobble in and we have a bunch of blah blah blah shit about how hard it has been to stick it out.  Yea, talk to Natalie who has been there from day 1.  Jeff asks Rob if it's friggin romantic being on exile with Amber, which says a whole hell of a lot about Jeff's views on being romantic.  Trust me, that Pottstown Motel  experience told ME that.....  Rob says wtf dude, no it's terrible and my poor wife got sent here because of me.  Seriously, show of hands, how many of you still think being exiled in the luxury of your home with your spouse is "romantic"??  

So the battle to get back in involves an obstacle course, that whole make a long stick and get a key thing, digging up sandbags and finally the ol snake vertical snake puzzle.  The advantage they bought means their sandbags are laying on top of the sand, not buried.  I think only Parv, Yul, Amber and Danni don't have the advantage.  It's close and in the end it comes down to Rob and Tyson, and Tyson manages to win, complements to Jiff peanut butter!  Everyone goes back to Edge where they will wait one more chance to return and will also now become the first 7 members of the jury further screwing up my Alternate player scenario.  

Back at the merged camp there is a new menu of fire token prices and they have gone way up.  Tony only has one so he is very happy that the merge feast is free.  Sarah says the lines are now all blurred.  She asks what happened to Sandra and Denise tells her the story of the idols.  Sophie says it was like an old guy in a bar telling a war story of being the queen slayer, and that now Denise has a resume.  

Tyson says he is the only old school person, and he wonders if the young schoolers have changed the game too much for him to compete.  Says he'd get rid of himself on day 1. 

Adam is happy to have real shelter.  Wendell says he has Nick and MIchelle in his corner but he needs more numbers.He approaches Jeremy who says he is outside the game again.  They both agree that Sophie and Denise are really playing the game.  Jeremy wants to work with Wendell but not with Nick.  He wants to be Wendells's #1.  

Tyson tells Ben that he tried too hard earlier.  They agree on a strategy of Tyson, Ben, Jeremy and Tony.  Ben says the game is about big threats and little threats.  He says that having Jeremy and Tony is music to his ears.  He says "now it's time to get rid of all of the sleepers" and Tyson says that's music to his ears.  

It's raining and everyone is miserable.  Tyson, Nick and Wendell talk and Tyson says he's heard it's Denise.  Wendell says he wants to vote off people playing a winners game.  

Challenge: It's cold and wet and the girls are shivering in their bathing suits, which is strange because when we do the challenge they have all changed into their clothes.  Maybe they were keeping them dry.  Or the little Asian Survivor laundry lady was slow today with her delivery. 

Its the pole hug.  One man and one woman will get immunity and a fire token.  Denise and Jeremy win.  Saving Denise's ass,  

Jeremy says his plan is to get rid of Wendell's current BFF Nick so he can be his new BFF, but he doesn't want anyone to know that he organized it.  Ben, Tyson and Jeremy talk and Ben suggests Nick.  Tyson says he wants to get rid of the "lower people" to shield his ass and Ben says that Nick is getting on everyone's nerves.  

Jeremy suggests to Nick that it's Adam.  Ben tells a big group that it's between Nick or Wendell.  Sophie says she prefers Wendell because he and Jeremy are "bro-ing" out.  

Sophie says that the big guys are saying Wendell or Nick but that Jeremy is pushing Nick because he wants to align with Wendell.  Ben tells Jeremy that the group wants Wendell.  Jeremy says that's a BAD DECISION and he doesn't want that.  

Wendell tells Nick that it's Adam.  Jeremy also gets in on it and says "let's just all go Adam".  He then goes around to Sarah, Kim, Tony and Michelle and says "let's do Adam".  

Jeremy talks to Denise and asks Nick or Adam?  She says there is no ripple effect and she can go either way.  Although from day 1 she was in an alliance with Adam she says it may not be a day 31 alliance.  

Sophie talks to Adam and tells him it's not about him.  He says that no one hasn't told him the plan and he's scared.  He's also a pussy but that's for another day...

Tribal

Tyson says the game is now different and he doesn't want to go back to Exile.  He says he has tightened his filter

Sophie says he has come back with less baggage than the rest of them now have.

Tyson now says he has a strategic point of view not a personal one and that the dynamics have changed since the merge. 

Denise says this is a defining vote solidifying relationships, which I think shows how little she understands how fast shit is gonna flip flop to the end.  

Wendell isn't sure if it will be defining but it will tell some things.  He is hoping he has the right ears

Adam says the conversations are really brief and quick.  He wanted longer talks but no one was interested

Nick says that constantly double checking with people makes you look paranoid

Sophie says you have to be OK with not being in every conversation and not being constantly in the loop

Sarah says it takes a while to see if the name you've heard is the name.  

Jeremy says no one wants to throw names out (well, except him) 

Adam still isn't sure what is happening.  

Tony says he's just taking a "as long as it's not me and swimming with the current" attitude.

Vote.  

Any idols?  Nope.  

Adam gets 3 votes and Wendell is out with at least 8 votes.  Nick asks Michelle if she knew and she ways no.  Wendell gives MIchelle and Nick his tokens.  

Survivor: Yul be Sorry!

Welcome to the Survivor blog and boy does it feel weird to do something so ordinary as keep up with the update!  Just curious, anyone interested in a live zoom discussion of the season so far?  I'd be happy to use my mad new skilz and set it up!

We begin in Exile with all the famous gang together.  Parv is telling her pity story about her against one with no one to help her.  Pretty soon she'll blame her child for taking away her only means of game play- sex.   Sandra says she gave Denise her idol and she backstabbed her.  Everyone is all WHY DID YOU TRUST HER??? Parv asks how they are surviving and the group explains they get a little bit of rice every day and Sandra is like, NOPE.  I AM OUTTA HERE!!  I totally don't blame her for not sitting around for another 15 days eating a scoop of rice and doing ridiculous challenges just for a chance to go up against everyone in a physical challenge.  On the way out she exclaims GET DENISE FOR ME!! 

So, Da Queen is officially the first person out and Julia and Lori will now get Alternate 1, Kim.

On Blue Yul says tribal council sucked.  Wendell got into it with Parv and apparently said "make me an offer".  Yul isn't happy.  He talks to Wendell and either Wendell said nothing or it was edited to look like Wendell just sat there.  He does tell Yul, "I appreciate your honestly" which is pretty meaningless.  He also tries to apologize to Michelle who tells him it "created chaos", and they get into it because  he thinks she was "schooling him" in game play.  "Let me play my game".  Yul asks Michelle how her conversation went with him says his went fine.  "He's different with you".  Michelle says she thinks Wendell is convinced she is going to stay true to him but "I don't want to move forward with him".

Exile again.  Ethan is talking to Parv about how hard it is and how depressing to battle every day.  She points out how good it will feel when it's all over and he is done, says he has done worse.  He says that he wonders how his body will react to this level of stress, which is a legit question he should have asked months ago.  Parv says some weird shit about how great fasting is for you, which is some privileged girl shit NO POOR HUNGRY PERSON has ever said.  

They all get notes and they all have to open them together.  Says there are 4 fire tokens hidden and says follow the trails to the end and then look.  Everyone takes off, Rob bolts before people even finish reading.  Tyson thinks he can make up ground to the dead end and ends up with one token.  Nobody every finds the other BECAUSE  friggin Rob hustled his old fat ass up and around and found the other 3.  "I'm the best that's ever played!"

Red:  Everyone is sitting around watching Tony be a clown.  He says he is in a good position, close to Kim and Jeremy.  Says Denise did him a favor taking out Sandra and making herself a high profile target.  Jeremy says that Tony is still the biggest threat, not Denise.  

Jeremy asks Kim how she feels and she says nervous that they don't have a good merge plan.  She says she feels really good with this group, says she likes Tony but really likes Denise and Jeremy.  Says she likes being in charge of her fate. Kim and Denise say they need a plan.  Denise asks her how she feels about their 3 and she says good.  

Green:  The had so much PB&J that they are having leftovers.  But there is real tension.  Sophie says the boys gave no idea that she has an idol in her bag.  The boys meanwhile are "bickering like old ladies".  Adam says he doesn't have the idol and goes off to look for one.  Sarah says she's going to go pretend to look as well.  Adam thinks it's obvious that they are pretending.  He tells Sophie his spidey sense is going off and he thinks Sarah has the idol.   Sarah tells him he can go through her bag if he wants and he says she doesn't have to do that.  Adam ONCE AGAIN realizes he's stepped in shit and has to do more damage control.  

Challenge:  Jeff doesn't even mention Parv and Sandra were voted off.  The challenge is to carry a giant flat dish of water through and obs course, empty it into a vessel to fill the well, repeat as needed and them complete a puzzle.  2 tribes get immunity.  

The green tribe goes REALLLLLLY slowly while everyone else is spilling their water going fast.  It pays off because they only need to do it on time to fill their well.  The end up as the first team to finish.  It's between red and blue and Wendell takes the time to talk smack to the red team, and the challenge comes down to literally half a second, red wins sending them to tribal.  

Yul (and everyone) is mad that Wendell was showboating trash and dug his own grave.  

Back at green, Michelle apologizes for the loss.  Nick says he's mad about Wendell because he was busy talking trash and not doing the puzzle.  

Nick tells Yul they shouldn't be going to tribal.  Says Wendell should go but they're going to say Michelle.  Wendell talks to Michelle- "We together?"  He says Yul is coming after him so they should vote him out. Michelle says she'll do whatever he says.  Wendell is counting on her and Nick.  

Yul tells Michelle it's Wendell.  She says she's pissed about giving him her token and not being able to get it back.  Yul says he has a plan to backstab Wendell AND get her token back.  Nick thinks Yul is getting a bit nuts and siding with him might be dangerous.  Tells Michelle and she agrees.  He asks her if she is open to keeping Wendell and she says yes, if he feels strongly about it .  Michelle says she wants Wendell out for revenge but Yul makes more sense, then she congratulates herself on this most basic level of strategy and says it proves her first win was deserved.  Oh, gurl, you keep telling yourself that.  

Tribal

Jeff is smiling at them

Wendell says what?  It was not the best of days,  We were so close

Jeff asks if it changes the vote because it was so close?  Wendell says no, which is hilarious because he's not the one whose vote would change due to his fuck up

Jeff asks his prodding ISNT THE GAME NOW GREAT questions about how the game has EVOLVED and grown SO MUCH. 

Yul says it's true because he has had to lie so much this time around.  You have to vote someone out BUT make them like you enough to give you their fire tokens.  IT ADDS ANOTHER LAYER JEFF. Then he goes on this epic marketing consultant BULLSHIT rant about how the it's not a "fire token market economy to align incentives".  And right then, I WANTED HIS BUSINESS SCHOOL ASS TO GO TO EXILE.  Says if you want to do something risky you can offer someone a token to make it "palatable".  

Jeff asks if that means you have to lie

Wendell says you have to find people to trust

Jeff asks Nick if that means pre-existing relationships are important and Yul jumps in again to say yes because there is only a finite time to get to know people, build trust and strategize.  

Jeff points out that Wendell and Michelle have a relationship.

Wendell basically says that since he has had sex with her (because lets be clear they did not have many deep conversations with each other) it doesn't mean he wants to go to the end with her.  He wants people to help ME go to the end.  

Michelle rolls her eyes and says Wendell has made it clear that he's here for himself only and the pre existing relationship is meaningless (as was the sex gurl) She ways "me and Wendell are not lovers Wendell says he does care for her and her future (without him obv)

Nick says the person going to exile today without any burned bridges.  Says this is my final 4 and I would welcome the person back to work with them again

Wendell says that might be difficult for him since they'd have lied to him if he went tonight

Yul is like, what?  He says he'd be bitter but he'd like the option open because it might be his only one.  

Jeff says WOW, that's tough

Michelle says she loves all of the boys but it's the game.  

Time to vote!  And idols?  nope.

Wendell gets 1 vote and Yul is off to exile!  

Yul says good one guys!  Michelle tells Wendell she liked seeing him shaking in his boots.  

Tokens go to Sarah and Sophie.

Best Survivor Ever!!

Hello fellow coronavivors!  Hope you are safe and well.  I have to say this was one of my favorite episodes as all the Queens joined Boston Rob over on Edge-which is about to become the Lord of the Flies, if everyone else figures out the whole fire token thing!  

Ben is celebrating the removal of BR.  LETS HAVE A PARTY!!!  Ben says Rob had a lack of respect for everyone else, and he thinks he is showing people he can change his game.  He's also feeling closer to Sophie and Sarah than to Adam.  Adam is happy BR is gone BUT he feels nervous that the other 3 seem to have a stronger connection to each other and to the rest of the game than he does.  He thinks it was better with Rob.  

On Exile, that there is "something hidden for a chance to win a fire token, says something about "more rocks to turn over".  Everyone starts running around looking under rocks.  BR and Amber are convinced it's at the cliff so they run there.  Tyson sees that the clue also says you have to be "at the right place at the right time" and figures it has something to do with tides and tide pools.  Just as he sees the clue, Rob shows up so Tyson turns around and pretends to pee.  It's a fire token via selling an idol nullifier.  He sends it to Parv who jumps right on it.  Tyson uses his fire token to buy a secret jar of peanut bar which will give him energy and "an extra thrill" for getting away with something secret.

Challenge, and Jeff announces that Rob is out.  OOOOOOOHHHHHHH.  Biggest reaction ever!  

This challenge is for ONE immunity and reward of peanut butter and the other 2 tribes go to tribal.  The challenge is : swim to boats, 1 person in, the rest out and the rice bags inside are thrown over to the others.  The rice bags are taken to a gate and have to be pushed through a little hole, kinda like childbirth, Bags are knife open and balls are inside. The balls are used for a ball maze.  

Green tribe wins, sending everyone else to tribal.  

On blue, Parv is sad because she doesn't have the numbers.  Nick, Wendell and Yul agree that it's Parv.  Nick is bummed that his masturbation idol has to go but that's what everyone wants.  

Parv tells Michelle that Wendell wants her to go.  Michelle suggests they try to find the cracks but secretly she doesn't think it will work.  Wonders if to show her loyalty, which  makes no sense to me OR him.  Says then he'll have 2 votes!  She asks him what she can do and then gets pissed off when he doesn't trust her, and says this is JUST LIKE when he burned her in love.  LOL.  OMG these two have nothing in common and no communication skills!!  Chick, IT WAS JUST SEX!!!  There was no love involved!!

Wendell approaches Parv and says we are just targeting each other and canceling our votes out.  He asks her what they can do and she'll all "I don't know, what are you thinking?  He suggests NIck or Yul.  He says "give me 2 fire tokens to prove to me you are honest".  Parv gets all she needs and runs around telling everyone he tried to sell her his votes for 2 fire tokens.  Nick is mad because "we talked about going to the end together".  Michelle tells Nick that Wendell isn't listening to her,  and wonders who the bigger threat is, Wendell of Parv.  Nick's dick says hmmmm, maybe we keep Parv....

Over on red, everyone is SORRY about losing.  Sandra says the bread was probably stale anyway.  Tony ramp up his paranoia and decides it's time for the SPY SHACK.  He puts it by the watering hole and just sits there.  Everyone is finally WHERE IS TONY???  Jeremy asks Sandra what her preference is, and she doesn't answer.  "So, original tribe?" Yep.  

Denise approaches Sandra and asks  how solid they all are.  Sandra suggests they talk somewhere else.  She, Denise and Kim talk and Denise asks how solid they are.  Sandra says they are solid because they have the numbers.  She also says that Denise is a wonderful person.  Denise thinks Sandra thinks she is in charge to she tries to play it humbly and plead for then to go with Jeremy.  

Kim is still all WHERE IS TONY? Sandra tells her to be careful where they talk and says not to talk at the water well.  Kim starts wondering if Tony is stupid enough for another spy shack.  Jeremy joins in and wonders why everyone is scrambling.  As they are walking Tony pops out of his spy shack and meets Kim and Sandra.  He's totally freaking out about being so close to being caught.  

Jeremy asks Tony about going with Denise.  Says they got rid of the biggest shield with Rob before the merge so they might want to keep him as one.  Sandra says that Tony is pushing Denise to go.  She says she has other people because only Tony will benefit from keeping Jeremy.  

Denise is sitting in the shelter and Sandra is standing by her talking to her.  Sandra tells her to give her 2 fire tokens and I'll give you immunity.  She says Tony is paranoid and messing with her game so she'll give her and idol.....and Kim walks up and they pretend to be talking about ice cream.  "I'll give you cookies and cream....."   Denise asks what's in it for her and Sandra says she gets to stay in and her hands are clean.  She tells Denise i'll give you one now and one after the vote.  Denise "I've never had power before in a game",

Tribal

Wendell says he'll do whatever, he'll stab anyone

Nick says it's a different game this time.

Michelle points out that different people played different games before and are trying to adjust

Parv, the ultimate black widow killer, says she just wants to  work with "fun people".

Wendell says he's just trying to be real about what he could do if necessary

Parv says he is probably talking about stabbing Michelle

Michelle says she and Wendell have a different style of communication, not all cushy.  LOL.  

Parv says she has difficulty talking to Wendell

Wendell says he just thought people appreciated honesty

Parv says Wendell promised her he'd give her his vote for 2 fire tokens

Wendell says nobody knows whether or not they have any value so he was just joking.  He then says that the current deal is still on the table

Parv-you want to do something with me?

Wendell-what do you want me to  do?

Parv SAY A NAME

Wendell says he gave her everything and she gave him nothing

Yul says this is like watching his parents fight and says he thought they already had a plan

Michelle says she is distressed because these are 4 people she loves.  OH COME OH GURL, WAKE UP

Nick says it's called winners AT WAR.  Grow a backbone!!

Vote.  Any idols?  Nope.  And BAM, Parv is gone.  

Michelle gets the fire token

Tribal 2

Kim says the theme of this season is "threats vs non threats"

Sandra says some know they are threats, some aren't.  Says Denise is not a threat

Denise says Is that a complement?? We are all threats for different reasons.  The issue is what threat is targeted tonight

Jeremy says Denise is one option. Says it's a 3/2 split so it's a numbers game

Tony says we know it's not just a numbers game, we're seasoned players

Jeremy says he loves Denise but they need to stay strong

Denise says she knows she is not a challenge beast but strong with relationships

Jeremy says he's nervous

Sandra says "do the smart players exploit the numbers?  Yes."

Time to vote.

Idols?  Denise says, can you give me a minute Jeff?  Everyone is like whaaaaat??  I found something today.  Jeff affirms it is an idol.  She says she'd like to play it for herself.  Denise then says, can I have another minute Jeff?  I'd like to play THIS OTHER IDOL for Jeremy!  WOOOFREAKINGHOOOOO

Let me read the votes......

Denise gets 4 votes, and SANDRA THE QUEEN GOES HOME WITH ONE VOTE.  GREATEST BLINDSIDE IN SURVIVOR HISTORY!!!!!!!

Kim says, I AM SO IMPRESSED

Tony says HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???

Sandra-Day 16 got me again!!

Sandra gives her token to Yul.  

Survivor Buddy System?

Welcome to Survivor: Home Edition.  Hope you are all doing well and staying safe.  I am about 3 days from handing out buffs to my husband and I and having competitions to see who is immune from elimination.  I think I have him beat on the "switch from the tv to the dvd input and play a disc" challenge.  

So, seriously was last week's episode delicious or what????  

Nick is all happy because they got rid of Tyson AND he got a fire token.  With Tyson just on exile, Nick now thinks they might get back together, bond and play nice in the sandbox.  Yea, when YOUR ASS is also on exile that might happen dude.  

Yul gives a public service announcement that Jonathan Penner's wife has ALS and is has lost use of her muscles.  It's really sad and Jesus I worry about people like this with the virus. He tells Sarah who thinks it's very sad.  Yul says he needs financial aid and he's playing for something bigger than himself, gives an ALS awareness speech and later the show has a link to help the family.  It was very touching and, lets be real, very staged.  Sarah says he's a good person.  

And now DROP YOUR BUFFS time.  Just once I want one of these skinny bitches to be strutting around wearing the tiny buff around their tits as a tube top to get caught and have to drop it.  Jeff points out that Tyson has also been voted off and BR is like OMGAWD.  Yea, that's gonna be an expensive poker game dude.  BR says he doesn't like the tribe switching part of the new game.  

We are now in 3 tribes:

Red: Jeremy and Denise, and Sandra, Kim and Tony (Sandra likes this as a time to get people out)

Blue: MIchelle, Wendell (who apparently dated), Yul, Parv and Nick

Green: Rob, Ben, Adam, Sarah and Sophie

I think they are almost all 2/3 split teams.  

Adam is not thrilled to be with Rob and Ben since all 3 have basically stabbed each other in the back.  

On the new Red beach everyone is amazed at the campsite Wendell build.  Jeremy tells Denise they are the Jeffersons "movin on up".  He immediately goes about figuring out who is on the outs.  Kim is pretty eager to talk with him.  He asks her if the swap is a good thing and she ways :maybe" but that she has to be careful. Kim and Denise tell each other they'd love to work together.  

Tony tells Sandra that they with Kim are like Lions to be taken out by Hyenas.  Says that they have to be careful and that Kim is in the middle.  Says if they are loyal they are in good shape but Kim's not sure that's the best option.  

On blue Wendell is a bit taken aback at how shitty their shelter is.  He says he has work to do!  Nick is happy since Yul and Wendell were his pals before.  Parv is trying to find a way in with them and is excited to hear that Yul's wife loves her.  

Nick confesses to Parv that she was his HS crush and she's like that was awkward.  And probably involved far too many Kleenexes.  

Michelle and Wendell apparently dated and it did not end well.  Parv asks him what his story is and he says he makes furniture and moves slowly.  

Michelle and Wendell have an incredibly uncomfortable conversation where you think she is literally waiting still for an apology that ain't coming.  He's all, what?  We kicked it and had fun. Yea, I don't think that's the way she remember it bro.  

On green, they have nothing.  Ben says the boyz should all be sitting pretty as the 3/2 split favors them but there's a lot of bad blood.  Rob asks if Amber was unanimously voted out and they tell him yes and that Tyson put her name out there.  Rob asks if anyone had any idols? and Sarah and Sophie both say nope.  They ask if Ethan was a unanimous vote and Ben tells them that it came down to Adam or Ethan.  

Sarah tells Sophie that you can feel the tension and wonders if either of them are free agents.  She talks to Ben and Sophie talks to Adam.  Each one tells a different story about what is going down.  Sophie says that there are cracks up the waz with these 3.  

Everyone decides there must be a new idol.  They divide boys and girls and go looking.  BR also hates this part of Survivor and has no idea where to even look.  He says he's not usually in this spot without answers.  

Sophie finds the idol and shoves it into her crotch.  EVERYONE EMPTY THEIR POCKETS.  She keeps it hidden and then reads that it's the 2 part idol.  She tells Sarah and gives her the other half.  Sarah already told her about her save a vote idol, so they are kinda maybe bonding.  

Challenge:  Obstacle, throw sandbags at blocks stacked up on a ledge, puzzle.

Blue and red win immunity, green goes to tribal.  Rob says they have expendable numbers so it's not a big deal.  Once back at camp the boys leave in a group.  Sophie and Sarah feel good about Adam and Ben.  The bros all promise to not write each other's names down.  They decide that Sophie is more of a challenge asset so, Sarah then?  Rob declares that they have to all stay in camp together all day, nobody can leave.  It's Rob's "buddy system".  Rob says he feels like he's bringing the game back in his direction.  

Adam says it;s boring and there's no "game play".  Ben thinks rob is a control freak.  He has a decision to make and has to trust his gut since they can't talk.  

Sarah says that Rob is really a negative person.  It's the buddy system on steroids.  The girls go for water.  Sophie says that Rob is an asshole.  Sarah says she has a steal a vote but she really wants to save it.  Sophie never thought at this point in the game it would all come down to trusting strangers.  

Tribal

Sophie says that this game is like playing with mob families because there are so many interlinked alliances and fluidity about the game.  

Adam says that nothing is ever solid.  No one is playing themself out of the game, everyone is playing well.

Ben says everyone knows not to poke the bear.

Rob is like whaaaa?

Jeff asks if there are cracks

Sarah says the crack was 7 words long because that's all she got all day.

Sophie explains that the boys went to the well and then came back in lock step and a command was given down. She says she's not looking for cracks-they're not invaders, but that they are looking to build real alliances. 

Sarah agrees and says they'll work with them

Ben says he's never been in a situation like this with 2 easy votes and nobody talked strategy.

Rob says sometimes less is more

Sophie says it's scary because Rob has won by corralling people around him and it's a proven strategy being used again.

Rob says that people working together works.  

Time to vote!  Any idols??  Nope.

One vote for Sarah and the rest goes to Rob!!!!!  Woo hoo!!!!!  He gives his fire token to Parv.  

Survivor: Shoulda Seen it Coming!

Good afternoon and welcome to Survivor, proving a bottle of Purell hidden behind every tree saves lives for over 20 years!

We begin where we left off, with smarmy Adam surprised that Parv did not go home.  Boston Rob says he "blew it up:.  Adam realizes he go left out because he was doing everything you shouldn't do.  Michelle and Ben call him STUPID and Michelle says "now you see what happens when you follow him".  Adam decides to go on an apology tour and pledge to not work with Rob and Parv-as if that is even an option.  

Ben calls him a weasel crawling around to everyone, and it's not good for Ben's lackluster game.  He says Rob and Parv are gonna pull shit and if you give them rope, they'll hang you with it.  

On the unicorns and puppies tribe Yul is up early and happy!  GOOOD MORNING!!  WHAT  A LOVELY DAY 10 IT IS!!!  It's all happy and we all love each other!!  Yul, Nick, Wendel and Sophie are all a nice tight group.  From their beach, they can apparently see the Edge of Extinction.  

Over on edge, they get a box with a note:  Chance to earn a fire token (I think Natalie has about 500 by now and is the only one who really knows how they work).  Bring 20 pieces of firewood and stack them one piece at at time-with the wood being about a mile away up on the "mountain".  Has to be completed by sunset.  Ethan says since he's done marathons it should be a piece of cake, and Danni says she is approaching it slow and steady.  Natalie is running it because she is a "monster".  

Around the 10th piece Ethan craps out.  By 16 he's really struggling so they bring in the Australian medic who says his BP is low and he has to rest.  They finally let him finish but tell him to take rests.  Natalie finishes and goes into the water to shit and cry.  Amber and Danni also kill themselves but finish.  Ethan is down to his last leg and all the girls follow him up and down as a show of support and now they are all tightly bonded like office workers with a shitty boss (trust me on this).  

On red, Rob and Michelle talk.  She tells him she was 9 the first time he played and 19 the last time.  She tells him she is here because her win was "controversial".  (I had to look it up and she won 2 back to back final challenges AND used an advantage that allowed her to strip a jury member of the right to attend and vote at the end-i do not remember that but she beat out Tai and Aubry to win and people freaked out) Rob tells her any win is a win.  

Meanwhile Adam is running around being everyone's bitch.  Hey, do you want water?  It was so bad I yelled at the TV "hey Adam, make me a sammich".  Jeremy says it reminds him of one of his kids who did something wrong and is hoping to not get in trouble.  He says they'll keep him as long as he behaves.  

Rob says that being at the mercy of everyone is hard.  He wonders what Adam's agenda is and Adam is basically talking to people to find someone to say something or make a mistake that he can use against them.  Rob says he's not doing it.  Parv asks if they should just "bury him" and Rob agrees.  He says "I could just go to Jeremy and say Adam is already trying to start shit.  He tells Jeremy that Adam keeps trying to talk to me and tell me smack and Jeremy is all " I can't keep babysitting this guy, he has to go".  

Sarah says for these die hard Survivor attention whores, this game is their playground.  She says a lot of people don't like Tyson but she and him mesh.  Tyson says it's earily calm, and Wendell/Yul/Nick and Sophie are running under the radar.  He tells Sandra and Tony that those 4 are playing us against each other.  Sandra tells him she's interested in the theory but she says privately he's SHADY.  She still holds it against her that he came for her.  He has to go.  

Challenge:  4 members pull a boat with the other 3 inside, pull up to a tower. and the people inside the boat have to climb up and jump, grabbing buoys with keys on the way down.  The there's a puzzle, of course.  The red team gets their keys but the blue team is ridiculously bad at it.  I think poor weasel Adam had to climb up and jump about 10 times to get it.  Red is so far ahead Jeff starts his OMGAWD THIS IS SUCH AN EPIC BLOWOUT!  

Adam finally gets the key and they crawl back to the beach and hand the puzzle pieces to ROB and Michelle.  Jesus are you kidding me??  But miracle of miracles Blue comes from behind and wins immunity.  

Tyson is bitter and says everyone is patting the puzzlers on the back and saying it's ok BUT IT'S NOT.  WAAAAAH.  Nick has to go!

Tyson tells Yul that Nick has to go and he says OK.  Sandra says OK too.  Everyone is on board so Tony asks, "is it really gonna be that easy??"

Wendell says all of their eyes are on Tyson because he is too well connected on the other tribe in case of the merge/swap.  Tony is like, OK.  Nick says Tyson has been gunning for me since day 1 and Yul tells him it's ok, he's good.   

Tyson tells Tony they have to stick together. Tony thinks it's a tricky situation because while he would rather get rid of Nick, he feels Tyson is a bigger dick that they can hide behind and use as a shield.  Once Tyson is gone, the spotlight could turn to Tony.  Tony talks to Sarah and Kim.  Sarah thinks they are being bamboozled, which is a work I TOTALLY have to start using more in my life.  She says it all hinges on what Sandra wants to do.  Tony and Sandra talk and Tony says it would be stupid to let Tyson go. Sandra says that although she has issues with Tyson and likes revenge, she likes $2 million more.  

Tribal

Tony says everyone has tight bonds but it's clearcut from a game level

Yul is asked about his prior strategy of constantly running the numbers.  He says he hasn't done as much math this time around and says that there are various groups that feel tighter and if you target someone in their group, they tend to bond tighter and he wants to avoid that with difficult votes.  

Sophie says something about a swap or a merge.  I dunno.

Nick says if they end up in a swap with him, he's going to stick with them.

Everyone agrees to the same

Sandra says some people have plans tonight but she'll do "whatever"

Tyson says Sandra is solid at that strategy

Yul says watching them play is different that meeting them and playing with them.  He's, for example, been surprised that Tony isn't a total asshole.  

Jeff asks Kim if there is idolatry of the multi-season players going on and I think she says yes.  LOL

Sophie says it's a real problem that some people are star struck and it's critical that they move past it

Tyson adds that some people also think voting their idol out is actually a resume plus

Sarah agrees that some people are excited to take out "the trophy"

Nick agrees and says that Parv was his Survivor crush.  He also says he feels responsible for the puzzle loss but was told a plan he hopes it correct.

Jeff asks who else was told a plan and everyone raises their hands. 

Vote.  Idol?  Nope

Nick 1

Kim 1

Tyson is off to Exile.  He says it was too easy and he should have seen it coming.    He gives his fire token to Nick.  

Survivor WAR: 2 and 3

Welcome back!  And, yes, week 3 and I'm already in the weeds.  Does it really surprise anyone that my life and house is insane sometimes?  I swear my husband and I have the Heineken virus, our dog went back for surgery yesterday, and some days it's all I can do to lay on the couch and eat talenti gelato for the cool jars.  

Week 2 Rob gets the fire token and knows that Amber is on Edge.  He tells Parv he got it and that it "kills him" that she's there.  Says that if Amber orchestrated it this is WAR.  Because it wasn't WAR before...

Ben is trying to play a more social game this time around which includes teaching Denise how to find idols.  She immediately finds the 2 halves become one idol.  They discuss using it to bring someone into their group.  Denise tells Adam who is happy but also pissed that Ben knows because Adam is not team Ben.  Denise suggests she could give it to Parv to make a friend with the cool kids and Adam is like ARE YOU FRIGGIN STUPID??  Adam convinces her to give it to him but he doesn't want to get stuck playing with Ben.  

Over on red, Yul is trying to find breadfruit.  He hands one to Kim who is all depressed because this season she's not on top the whole time.  She goes looking for an idol and WHAT A SURPRISE immediately also finds the 2 halves one.  Tony and Nick walk up and she has to hide it in her complete lack of clothing and pretends to be looking for firewood.  She ultimately tells Sophie for reasons Sophie doesn't even understand.  "She just told the devil".  

On edge they get a note about "something out there..."  Natalie understands it.  The note actually says where with the first letters of the lines but they don't see it and traipse all over the island.   Later Natalie goes to the well and finds it.  "Safety to Power" -she can sell the ability to leave tribal before the vote for a fire token.  She sends it to Jeremy who buys it.  

Tony decides to do "Projects" to stay out of trouble and builds a giant ladder to get fruit.  He makes everyone carry it out to the trees, set it up and then he climbs up for fruit.  Tyson asks if there was a ladder clause in their contracts.  Sophie says Tony is like a kid playing make believe without knowing it's not real.  He also points out that 'That's the guy who enforces the law at home...."

Sarah talks to Tony and they agree to be secret Cops R Us partners.  

Challenge

First look at Amber voted off.  Rob was that personal?  "It's rough but it's the game"

Race with a cart

get 3 keys

get 3 chests

disassemble and reassemble the cart

Dragon Puzzle

Wanna know?  Spice kit.  

Rob and Denise chose to do the puzzle and it's A DISASTER.  I don't think they get one piece while Red smokes them and wins immunity.  

Parv decides they are over run by newbies and one of them has to go.  

Rob says he second guessed himself and it wasn't his best day

Ethan-Dude you sucked.

Rob says he still feels secure and isn't worried.  Wants to know which newbie should go.  Jeremy or Ben?  He talks to Parv and Danni is watching everyone talk.  She thinks it's her.  

Danni tells Ethan and Ben that she wants to make her case. Ethan asks Ben what Rob says and basically gives away the old school alliance in front of Ben who is like WHOA, THERE IS AN OLD SCHOOL ALLIANCE. 

Ben, Ethan and Jeremy decide to push for Danni to prove there is no old school alliance.  

Danni tells Rob that she thinks Parv flipped on her so she'll go along with them taking out Parv.  Rob was willing to forgive her for the first mistake but "Parv is my girl".  Rob tells Ethan and Adam that the old school is turning against each other, and Adam is totally cool with going against "the godfather".  

Ethan says he heard Parv.  Rob is all what the hell??  Says Ben is running all over telling people to vote Parv.  Adam says it's Parv or Danni and the question is when to  take the risk against Rob.

Tribal

Adam has problems trying to put his torch in an area with no hole so Ben has to help him.  LOL.  

Rob says that this season is about relationships and it's more complex that EVER IN HISTORY

Ethan says it can be quite confusing to know if you are really in the relationship

Michelle says old or new is out the window and that she got hoodwinked last time

Parv says that the poor old people don't know the new stuff like idols and second chances

Danni says that although she is old school and agrees with the different type of play, she says that clearly loyalty doesn't work and people have been really quiet around her.

Parv says that initially Danni wanted Rob out but then they made up

Ben says there was really an old school alliance, says the old schoolers are making the new school paranoid.  When challenged by Parv he says "you 3 were running around all day"

Ethan says "but you guys have a new school alliance"

Rob whispers to Jeremy, and then to Parv

Ben is saying something about idols and showing people to find idols and Rob is all LETS ALL OPEN OUR BAGS AND SHOW IF WE HAVE AN IDOL.  Which personally I think it is dick move but a typical Rob move.  

Everyone shows their bags and Denise manages to hide the idol.  Adam asks why people should show their bags and Rob, the paragon of virtue, says he's just trying to find the truth.  

Vote:  Idol?  no

Danni is voted out.  She gives Denise her token.  

Is it me or is all the action on the Blue tribe?  Rob, Ethan and Parv betrayed Danni.  Adam now thinks it's time to target the big dogs.  Was Adam a dick last time he played? I don't remember him.  He wants to get rid of Parv again, and find a way to build a relationship with Ethan and Rob.  He tells his plan to Denise who says that they have the idol, and Danni gave her the fire token BUT Rob, Ethan and Parv are tight.  

Ben is adamant about not working with Rob.  Michelle agrees with him.  

Adam miscalculates again how telling the truth does not in fact get someone to be in an alliance with you.  He tells Ethan he has his back and they have to target Parv.  Tells him they need to pick and chose who they all go to the mat for.  Ethan is all, are you stupid??  Parv is his girl and plus he has no idea how to play this game so he's gonna hold on to her coattails for dear life.  

On Red, Sandra says she's retiring and this is her last go round.  She wants to prove her Survivor worth and decides to catch a fish using a volleyball net.  DID WE KNOW THEY HAD A VOLLEYBALL NET???  

Tyson knows he's a target and it's the first time he's been on the hit list ever.  He decides he needs to topple the queen for chops.  Or as they say, HIS RESUME.  He tells Yul and Sophie his plan but Yul isn't feeling the Tyson love and is hesitant.  

Sandra and the boys set up the net in an inlet and low and behold catch a little shark!  Tony helps out by picking up the shark, only to realize he is TERRIFIED of sharks.  LOL!  He knows he can't drop it and lost it but he's running around like a crazy man before they help him lay it down.  Yul likes that Sandra caught a fish and wants to keep her around.  He tells her Tyson's plan and ignites her flame.  "Ain't no way he's coming after me and not paying the price!"  LOL, seriously Sandra needs her own reality show because I would love to see her in her "normal" life.  

On Edge there is no food, supposedly.  Danni goes fishing with the spear that they just happen to have and catches a tiny fish.  She's all thrilled with herself.  Natalie walks up with tree mail. They each get notes wrapped in string with shells that tells them to find a lock box and "you have all the numbers to proceed".  They all run into the jungle and find the lock box and try a variety of different combinations.  Amber goes back to the beach and finds some numbers written on the fake set crates and returns to try them.  Nope.  Natalie also goes back and sees the sets of shells on the strings and destroys the other strings before returning to the lockbox and opening it up.  It's the ability to sell a Steal a Vote.  

Tony is reliving the great shark escapade and the shark is getting bigger with each telling. Sandra finds the note from Natalie.  She has to sneak into the other camp and find the steal a vote in one of the torches.  It's risky and it costs a fire token but she decides to go for it- and she needs Tony as backup.  They hilariously try to cover her face with ashes and then Sarah is taken to the other beach in a boat.  Ethan is up stoking the fire, and then he goes back to sleep. She crawls over to the torches but has to stand up to reach inside them.  She's making a bit of noise but she of course finds the steal a vote paper and safely gets out of there.  It all seems pretty staged to me IMO.  

Challenge:

Ramped walls

Sand pit

Ladder 

Rope

Wall

Tree Puzzle

Rob decides to go with another losing go at the puzzle and Red wins immunity.  It's like he should have been listening to his advice on Island of the Idols.  

Blue all get back to camp and it's all quiet as everyone just stands and sits around waiting for a chance to get up and go chat in groups.  It's a standoff.  Finally Jeremy walks off and Ben follows him.  Jeremy, Ben and Denise decide Parv is dangerous.  

Adam approaches Rob and asks him if he is open to any possibilities.  He tells him they are planning to take out Parv, and he assures Rob that ultimately she is going to come after him.  Rob asks if they have the numbers to take out Parv.  Adam knows going after the godfather is risky but again thinks telling people the truth is a good strategy.  

Rob is like, is he nuts??  "I don't play that way".  Rob approaches Michelle and Jeremy and says he knows the plan.  They tell him that's not really the plan.  Rob thinks they should blindside Adam.   Rob tells Parv.  She says he broke the cardinal rule and she's ready to devour him.  

Michelle is pissed that Rob knew the plan.  She tells Denise that Adam told Rob everything.  Ben is pissed as well and says that Adam is playing every angle.  

Tribal

Ben says they all know changes are needed to stop the losing.

Jeremy says someone has to step up

Ethan says that certain people are working together but they need to work for yourself.

Adam says people all have someone close to themselves so when you come at someone it isn't that simple

Michelle says something weird about how it's like dating and you end up with the person who makes you feel giddy.

Rob says it's a gut decision and you have to trust someone and hope people do the right thing. 

Parv says she's a big target and she doesn't have a lot of options

Adam says Yes, if you've played several times or there's a giant statue of your head somewhere people look at you as a threat

Rob says that by  saying that he's playing the game.

Adam says no one needs reminding how often Rob or Parv have played the game

Rob says, and again, that's what you're doing

Adam-it's not like people don't know we're playing the game, AND you do have a statue.

Ben says the whole alliance thing is new for him and people are constantly jumping up and jumping in other bunkers.  He's happy in the bunker he's in.

Denise says everyone is jumping in everyone else's bunker

Ethan says "I don't know what the hell the bunker thing is!  I just need to get through tonight"

Jeff asks him it this means he's not thinking ahead and he says he can't or he won't be in the game.  

Time to vote!  Idols??

Parv gets one, Adam gets 3 and Ethan is voted off,  No idea where that come from!  Ethan gives his fire token to Adam.