Survivor Big ol 3 Episode Post

ARGH!!  I swear every time I miss a week and think I'm going to catch up the next there's a friggin double episode week that puts me even more in the hole.  THANK YOU Kevin for handling the update while I was away!  It was hilarious and jeez how great to sit back and read the updates!!  

Note: the previews seem to indicate that there is going to be a challenge to see if someone comes back from the EDGE this week, so unless only one person actually goes home, I'm going to propose if a group of them go home we still use the original order they were voted off.  So in other words unless Reem comes back, she will be the first person technically  removed if Extinction gets sent packing.  If Reem comes back to the game then the second person who was voted off (Kieth??) is the alternate winner.  Sound good?

And while I'm talking about Extinction, what a massive waste of time that has been.  I'm guessing the point was for it to become some kind of last chance Lord of the Flies environment where they fight among themselves for clues to help them get back into the game but since no one knew what was going to happen they became cooperative sheep waiting for the next half bowl of rice to be delivered to them.  

OK so let's blow through episode 4 because I know y'all are hard working professionals that would never read my emails on company time.

Chris arrives at Extinction and is all "I was played like a fiddle".  Reem is a hardass about him doesn't give him a happy welcome.  

Back at the blue tribe Wendy returns the flint and laughs that no one understands her "masterplan"  Wardog is all "WENDY SHOULD TO GO NEXT!  WE HAVE THE NUMBERS TO GET RID OF WENDY".  

They all return to Jeff for what they think is a challenge but is a switch up.  Everyone is shocked Chris was voted out.  

DROP YOUR BUFFS.  They are resorted into 3 tribes and Jeff loses his shit when it's basically the same people on the tribes except Wendy is moved over to one of the former yellow tribes.  Totally not what the producers wanted.  

The new blue tribe: Gavin, Aubry, Pippi Victoria, Eric, Wendy

New Yellow: Joe, Ron, Julia, Julie, Aurora

New green tribe: Rick, David, Wardog, Wentworth, Lauren 

I think that's right.  Green gets a new beach with nothing on it.  Lauren is nauseous and homesick.  

On Yellow Joe is trying to bond with everyone and does the "bro" thing with Ron, who gives it right back to him but doesn't really mean it.  In fact he's just distracting him while Julie goes through his bag to find if he has an idol and what kind of hair products he uses.  Once she confirms there's no idol (and it's AXE products)  they decide he's the easy target.  

Wendy is the new one to the tribe but it's her beach so she gives everyone a tour.  Aubry initially thinks Wendy will be the easy first one out although "she's so nice".  She's also very chatty and gives up all the dirt on the former blue tribe.  She also lets all of the chickens out to run away and the episode is people talking to the camera with chickens squawking in the background.  

Immunity Challenge- there's crates and there's puzzles.  You don't need to know much more.  Green goes to tribal again.  

They are all best buddies but have to turn on someone.  Lauren isn't eating, there's a question about whether Kelley has an idol, Lauren and Wendy don't think Rick is loyal to them.  Wardog is "always thinking who can get THE WARDOG closer to the $1 million"

Tribal is a love fest.  They love each other, respect each other, their camp sucks and it sucks to be losers.  Wardog says this is the game of all games (I thought that was Afghanistan...), Ron says here you prove things to yourself, David says some nonsense about some things being worth more than a million dollars, and Rick is voted out.  

Fat Rick shows up at Extinction where they all just sit around all day without ever considering building a shelter.  I totally don't know why they don't just call it Loser island. And if the point is for it to be a Last Chance Kitchen why not at the least have them do fire challenges to stay in the game?  

Challenge: it's for 1) PB and J and sandwiches, 2) just sandwiches or 3) nothing.  It's basically a maze of silly string, lift someone up to get "bolos" and then play ladder ball but everyone must score so no hiding behind Joe's brawn this week.  Yellow gets the win, blue gets the sammies and green comes away with a big fat lot of nothing again.  Seriously there should be a captain over David's head that says, "womp womp".  Kelley complains that their tribe is like "3 girls and Wardog" which is pretty self deprecating statement about girls in general.  

On yellow people are complaining how STRONG and WINNING Joe is and how that makes him a big target.  Joe decides his best bet is to be super helpful.  It kinda works because now Ron isn't so keen to get rid of him knowing his ASS would have to provide a bit.  Julie is pretty determined he goes.  

The eat their sammies on blue and are still hungry.  Pippi says "there's still chickens"....  Eric compares working with Wendy to having an alarm clock that you never know when its going off.  Aubry is STILL WAITING FOR THE GAME PLAY TO START.  I NEED TO FIND SOMEONE WITH ANY KIND OF STRATEGY INTEREST!!  Meanwhile, Gavin, Eric and Pippi talk and decide it's between Wendy and Aubry.  Aubry is still a big target just being a returning player- the new players rightly so are tired of the returning players angle because they basically want the season to be about them not always just how they react to those who have played before.  Pippi decides to placate Aubry with the idea of a "girls alliance" to lure her away from the thought that she might be in trouble.  

Pippi comes up to Aubry and begins to talk strategy and Aubry is so eager she almost kisses her.  She tells her everyone is way too calm and not really playing the game because they know they have Wendy as a buffer vote.  She suggests it's a good time to blindside one of the boys and Aubry is so eager to be known as a MAJOR SURVIVOR STRATEGIST AND PLAYER that she almost drools on herself.  

On Green, David asks Wardog "shall we fish??"  and Wardog tells him "I've never fished in my life and I'm tired".  LOL.  David decides to go look for snails....and an idol.  He says he's a 44 year old with a 2 bedroom apartment and he needs to shape his life up.  Lauren, Kelley and Wardog talk about what a loser David is.  Then Lauren goes away probably to puke again and Wardog tells Kelley that they make the best combo and it's possible that Lauren could break them apart if it's just those 3.  Kelley is like, OK I'll stab her in the back.  

On Edge, the producers have decided these people are even too lazy to fight among themselves so they throw a box onto the beach- each one has a scroll in it with a map.  "Goal is to be back in the fold"  "If the stars align they'll point the way".  Everyone sits around confused until Rick figures out if you FOLD the map just right arrows point to a tree.  That's why he's the big time journalist.  Reem wants them all to have a pact and only go together to see what's there (mostly because she's too lazy to beat anyone to the tree).  And she wants them to eat their meager bit of rice first.  Surprisingly, loser Kieth is like "that's not gonna happen" and he takes off to the tree.  Everyone runs after him and Keith and Chris get to the tree about the same time but Chris finds the note.  It says "practice" and has 3 bamboo rods.....Rick gets to the second tree (from the back of the scroll) and it has an advantage he can give to someone still playing with an extra vote.  Rick "WE'RE STILL PLAYING THE GAME!!!!"

Immunity Challenge-there's water and a 3D puzzle whose pieces you need to unhook underwater.  I swear the producers made the green tribe's harder.  The literally cannot unhook their pieces.  Jeff is all THIS IS THE BIGGEST BLOW OUT IN SURVIVOR HISTORY.  It comes up to David's turn and Jeff literally yells at him GET DOWN THERE AND RELEASE IT.  David can't and Lauren has to go back down and do it finally.  

Meanwhile the Yellow team of course kicks ass and gets the win.  And they basically are telling the blue team how to put it together when the green tribe comes from behind and gets the win FOR THE BIGGEST COMEBACK IN HISTORY, JEFF.  

Blue has to go to tribal and hallelujah Aubry gets to play Survivor finally!!!  She talks to Pippi about how much she looooves to  make move and this is her chance to get someone big like Eric out to IMPROVE HER SURVIVOR RESUME.  They decide to bring Wendy in and ask her "what kind of game did you want to play" and she's all I DUNNO.  They ask her if she wants to do a big move and get one of the guys out and she's all "if I say no will you take me out??"  Aubry is frustrated because she can't even express an opinion and clearly isn't WOWED by Aubry's strategic game play.  

Aubry is looking in her bag for her idol and she finds the secret advantage Rick sent her. She can use it up until there are 7 people left in the game. She's now all freaked out because she "doesn't know how to play when she has a bounty of advantages".  

Tribal and GET FIRE BECAUSE IT'S YER LIFE.

Gavin is like "it's totally chill at camp, we aren't even talking strategy"  to which Pippi and Aubry say nu huh we are.  Even Wendy says she's been strategering and is amazed that "people are confused by my game play".  

Aubry says some bullshit about people sussing out their people and black cats finding other black cats and halloween and hocus pocus and then she looks like she is waiting for Jeff to give her a treat for her brilliance.  

Everyone is like, tonight is totally an easy vote about who has my back.  Aubry says it's simple and she isn't going to over think it.  And she's going to have a lot of time to think about it as she is the next person voted off and off to the decision point where of course she chooses the Edge of Extinction.  

And then we go right into episode 6, and I'm like damn it this update is going to take all damn day!!  And here we are....

It's morning on Extinction and Aubry is RIGHTFULLY SO mortified by going out "JT style" with a pocket full of idols and advantages.  She's unsure if they are still playing the game or if they are sitting in the waiting room.  We aren't sure either Aubry.  But she knows she can "thrive on the bottom".  

C'MON IN GUYS.  It's challenge time.  There's tables to leap over, sandbags and spinning targets to throw out.  Wanna know??

1) coffee, tea and pastries

2) coffee and cookies

3) hunger

Aurora sits out and I'm like "who the f*(k is Aurora???"

No surprises, yellow wins 1, blue wins 2 and loserville gets another shot at losing.  Kelley is jealous that they have Joe because "that's like a 2 week vacation".  

Julie is like, "at this point I expect to win".  She tells Joe- you won that challenge for us Joe.  Joe knows that puts a big ol target on his back.  He says Aubry going was like a big wake up call.  He gets all teary eyed about not having anyone else to rely on but back home he has his family and his 22k instagram followers.  He wipes his eyes with his hand in his buff and it's like A GIANT FOAM HAND.  lol. 

Joe talks to Julia about how they are both going to be targeted when they merge and he decides to make everyone else seem like threats so that the tribe bonds with him.  Julia realizes he's right and that she is going to have to adapt when the merge happens.  

David is wondering what it must be like to be Joe?  Honey, best not to try to think about how wonderfully better it would be to be him.  Lauren is sick and frustrated that they keep losing and they have a shitty beach.  None of them seem to want to do anything to improve their beach... She tells Wardog that the rice is making her even sicker.  Wardog thinks fishing, like David is at least trying, is counter productive because it uses calories and laying on your fat ass doesn't.  

Wardog tells David and Kelley that he thinks they need to get rid of Lauren because she is so sick.  Kelley and David talk and Kelley says that Wardog is scaring her.  David agrees that it seems to be a dictatorship.  AND WARDOG SUCKS AT CHALLENGES.  

Extinction Island

The producers throw another basket up on the beach in an attempt to make something out of this disaster.  There are maps in there and Aubry is confused why everyone starts right off folding them.  This one is harder.  Rick thinks if you line up all the holes it does something about the mast but he digs all around it and nothing.  Reem looks out at the water and decides she sees some pattern so she and Keith go explore and they find another box.  Keith opens it which means he "owns" it and it's a box with knots inside and it says "when the time comes give your competition these knots.  Chris blames Reem for "giving it away" and Reem goes off "like a volcano" and my husband and I just laughed and said "that would TOTALLY be me by now.  

Immunity Challenge- and there is only one immunity up for grabs.  The other 2 tribes go to tribal together and agree on one person to vote out- or tie and DRAW ROCKS.  

There's a ladder, a rope bag to unroll, a cage door and I swear something called a "monkey cyst" to throw in a ring and get a slide puzzle.  It doesn't really matter because JOE IS AWESOME AT EVERYTHING and Yellow wins immunity.  

And basically it's 25 minutes of people posturing about making the other side afraid to draw rocks by acting like they don't care if they draw rocks.  And them people being all "is Wendy worth drawing rocks?  would returning players go to rocks knowing they might have come back just to go out with rocks?"  And then everyone is like, I don't want to risk rocks.  Let's stay strong and make them afraid to draw rocks...Wardog goes to the beach alone and everyone thinks he's plotting.  He's thinking, "is sick Lauren worth going to rocks over??"  Then he goes off to finally look for an idol.  

David says Wardog is creating a war, and then they all decide to go find him and look for idols.  Kelley finds one and in the excitement  Lauren tells her she has one too.  

Tribal

It's ridiculous.  Everyone is "hey we welcome anyone who wants to come play with us".  Wendy says they all asked her about her original tribe and she said she's now in the middle.  David tells her they still consider her part of their tribe and Eric says "that's not what she said".  

And then Kelley starts talking to Wardog, and he talks to David, and then they start talking on the other side and David calls Wendy out of the area for a side conversation and GOD KNOWS WHAT SHE SAYS.

They vote and it's a tie which means they have to revote.  Everyone is still talking together in groups and someone says "worse cocktail party ever".  

And then they revote and it's pretty unanimous that Wendy goes to Extinction.  

Hello this snowy morning!  Hope everyone SURVIVED  the snow (see what I did there??) !  We were without power but not long enough to test our fire making skills outside in the snow.  Anyone see the ad for Naked and Afraid this season that takes place in the snow?  Y'all know I have been hankering for a Survivor: Freeze your as off  for years!  Not only would we be spared the parade of dirty Victoria Secret bras but I think it would put everyone who comes on with a plan on their asses.  

Ok, so now for the reason you are all still reading this crap.  Reem is on the Edge of Extinction, which appears to be another one of Mark Burnett's tax shelter properties, this one without any apparent luxuries other than a nice flag pole should one want to pretend to be president and dry hump the flag.  Oops. the politics devil got out of it's bag.  GET BACK IN THERE SATAN!!  The note says one has to "work hard for everything" while starting out with absolutely nothing (I SAID, GET BACK IN THERE POLITICAL SATAN!!).  Bootstraps, y'all!!  There is a sail that one can raise should at any time they want to quit.  Reem cries about being stranded and being the first person voted off.  ALL ALONE!!  With just this camera crew!!  The horrors!!!  

And, that's the last ti me we get to see Reem this week...

On Manu (Blue) Wendy is talking about not wanting to vote with Kelley-she is the ring leader and everyone is eating her crap up.  David on the other hand is playing a "go with the flow" plan.  Kelley and Wardog decide they have to keep tabs on Wendy now.  Kelley thinks she is probably going to look for an idol, which gives her the idea that MAYBE THE REST OF US SHOULD LOOK FOR IDOLS.  

Can I mention Wardog is one of those alpha assholes that only align with people they think are beautiful winners?  

Over on Kama Kama Kamelian aka the yellow tribe, they are discussing what their tribe chant and song should be.  They're all in a good WINNING mood and they like to dance.  Ron (I think- haven't gotten all them figured out yet) grabs Aubry and makes her do some lewd stuff called dancing.  Aubry's not really into it but she goes along.  Aubry doesn't like the kumbaya stuff, because without the drama and going to tribal "you can't get a sense what's going on".  She decides to use her marketing manager skilz and go around saying the same lame platitudes to every one in a lame attempt to "feel out the newbies".  Pretty soon people are comparing notes about her- "we can have a dialog..."  " you remind me of myself when i played"....  

Back on blue everyone is looking for idols.  David and the fat guy-Rick?  are looking and wondering if Wendy has sent them out to look as cover for her already having found it.  David tells Rick that "I know Kelley wants me gone".  Wendy finds them looking and tries to engage them.  She tells them she can be loyal and they can bring Wardog along, which makes no sense to me.  David is not a fan of Wardog.  Can I ask what kind of an ahole you have to be to name yourself WARDOG???  It's like proudly telling people you go by BUTTLICK.  

They are also looking for idol on Yellow Kama.  Gavin and Eric-two guys I literally had to look up to find their names. Eric wonders if the time away is suspicious.  Julie is being a little slave girl working on the hut while everyone else is LOOKING FOR FREAKING IDOLS, and she is bemoaning the fact that MEN always find the idols and WHY DO MEN FIND THE IDOLS?? Meanwhile she wonders if the woman should LOOK FOR THE FREAKING IDOLS.  Victoria Longstockings just says "It's a big place and I wouldn't have any idea where to begin to look".  Julia I think also says "it seems SNEAKY to look for idols. WTF??  

On Blue, Lauren finds the idol and them buries it in the sand at the surf line where it could IMO be washed away.  She's all in love with Wendy but for now doesn't say anything about finding the idol.  

Challenge:  I think this is a repeat from another season, as most are.  Swim out to a cage and dive down, bring up a giant heavy snake and drag it back to shore.  Untie parts of the snake and find tiles with numbers, which are used to come up with the combination to unlock rings.  Then a ring toss to raise oars that spell out Immunity.  Wanna know?  In addition to immunity a choice of spices or a fishing kit.  How come they never give away deodorant, incense and toilet paper??  (Because I will say it again, I am convinced there are toilets, toilet paper and Purell on every tree. Other wise in 33 seasons we would have had at least one outbreak of rampant diarrhea).  

Yellow again wins immunity and chooses fishing gear.  And notice how little Joe is factoring into the editing....

Blue is going to tribal.  Keith, who sucks ASS in challenges is a target, according to WARDOG.  He wonders if he's a bigger target than Wendy.  Keith pretty much knows he sucked it and should go.  WARDOG and Lauren discuss what a freaking liability Keith is with Kelley who disagrees and still wants Wendy.  Wardog talks to David about voting for Keith, which ruins David's imaginary plan to get rid of Kelley with War's help/  Keith promises Chris that he'll forever be his guy and now Chris thinks they have enough to get rid of Kelley.  

Chris tells fat Rick that maybe they should keep Keith and blindside Kelley and Rick is all HOLY SHIT THIS IS HUGE!!  Rick runs and tells David who "THINKS IT'S CHRISTMAS" .  Rick runs around telling everyone and they're all excited!!  And then Chris tells THE WARDOG  and puff, that dream goes up in smoke.  Wardog, in strategy that pisses me off every time, thinks "what if there is a tribe switch??"  She's a bigger target and we could hide behind her.  Wardog also wants people to think a blindside of Kelley is HIS plan.  

Kelley meanwhile thinks "people are acting strange this week....."

Tribal

Wendy are you concerend? Yes

Kelley is it unnerving hving people vote for you?  Yes

Rick points out that Reem is the one who voted for her

Kelley says since she played before it can be and asset or a liability but WE NEED TO STAY STRONG

Lauren agrees.  Stroooong

Keith any concern because you are as weak as a fucking baby?  "Your longevity doesn't really ever depend on a ring toss but blah blah blah relationships, numbers, flips blahhhhhhh"

Chris says something about being "strong as a tribe"  and also having "voting units" and TRUST.  

Wardog ways there is a lot of talking and ideas going on.  Could be a blindside-I'll know more tonight where I stand.

David agrees tonight could be a blindside

Kelley says everyone is certain they know how it's gonna go tonight and some are wrong

Wardog says every move should be rational.  Cake and eat it too (not sure where that came from).  Unless I'm playing with 7 liars I know what's gonna happen.

Vote

Kelley gets only 1

Wendy gets one 

and Keith is voted off.  On the way out he says "good luck winning any challenges now" which is effing hilarious given where they are so far this season...

And then Keith comes to the fork in the road and....can't decide.  C'mon GOD, give me a sign......

Survivor: Edge of Extinction Week 1

Welcome to the first installment of the Survivor: Edge of Extinction!  Jeff is looking spiffy in his old man socks with shoes.  It's a look that says my feet are too pretty and delicate to go barefoot without getting a blister.  Hey, does Jeff still have a TV talk show?  I don't think so.  Basically he works 2 months of the year.  Niiice.  Then I guess he goes back into the storage crate with the buffs and immunity idols.  At least the host of the Bachelor/Bachelorette does a few shifts on "who wants to be a millionaire".  

We are in Fiji again.  Survivor has been in Fijii 7 times, and  the last 6 straight.  Jeff no doubt owns a time share for June/July.  It would not surprise me that the show owns the beaches they are filming on, and that they are fenced off from animals and natives.  I'm sure that's also where Mark Burnette off shore's his money.

So we start as we always do with 14 bright eyed newbies anxiously awaiting their 15 minutes of fame.  On a boat.  Jeff is blabbering and then up comes ANOTHER BOAT with 4 returning survivors.  All of the women wet themselves over Joe with his little man bun.  Seriously it was ridiculous.  Poor Jeff.  Also joining is David, who I completely forgot about but was a scary little wimp the first time he played and is now all full of himself having figured out how to shit in the shallow water.  We also have 2 returning women, Kelley Wentworth, who I am almost positive Jeff has slept with, and Aubry who I am also positive Jeff has NOT slept with.  

They have a boat with supplies, 2 minutes to grab stuff and then jump into the ocean and swim.  Keith can't swim, which is in keeping with the Survivor black guy stereotype.  Just a few notes to start off:  There's a news Anchor named Rick who's amazed at all of the food they have. Kelley Wentworth  wants to be all about "relationships" this time around as opposed to being the bitch she was previous 2 times she was on.  David wants to be "helpful" to the newbies.  

The tribes are divided as follows:

Manu-Blue

Kelley-31 in Marketing

David 44 television writer originally from Philly

Reem 46, sales

Chris 25, sales

Kieth 19 Pre Med

Lauren 21 Student

Rick 33 TV anchor

Don "Wardog"  38 law student/former military

Wendy 25 has an etsy store

Kama-Yellow

Aubry 32 marketing

Joe 29, hangs around looking hot

Aurora 32 divorce laywer

Eric 34 firefighter

Gavin 23 YMCA director, clearly needs the money

Julia- 24 medical assistant formerly of Hazleton PA

Julie 46 "toymaker"

Ron 46 a teacher at the "Ron Clark Academy" which was the subject of a made for tv movie and he's been on Oprah

Victoria 23 waitress but she still has time, bless her heart.

OK, back to the show. Everyone is busy building shelter and making fire.  The women of Kama are mainly watching Joe work, as is someone who says "I'm gay and I'm team Joe".  

Wendy is talking with Reem and is making noises.  She is an adorable little thing with a mild form of tourettes.  Which is a real disease but also makes me laugh because there once was a 60 minutes episode (back in the 70s)  I believe about an old white woman in the south whose form of it forced her to repeatedly say the N word whenever she was around a person of color.  It was tragic and so fucking politically uncorrectly funny.  But, damnit, I digressed YET AGAIN.

The Ron Clark Academy was the only one smart enough to know there was probably an advantage hidden among the gear on the boat.  He found it and reads it- "dig 3 feet east of tree mail".  Off he goes and finds an advantage which has a menu of options it can be used for (I forgot to write them down) but it has to be used in the first 3 tribals.  

Joe and Aubry are feeling "good vibes" from everyone and are hoping to not be targeted first.  They decide to lay low.  

Everyone is pairing up and sizing each other up.  Eric and southern boy Gavin aren't sure about Joe and Aubry being back.  Eric wants Aubry gone in the typical male threatened by a strong woman pissing contest.  

Reem is the mom. And is spending time cleaning everyone's room and reminding them to drink water.  She appears to keep taking people's wet things and laying them on the wet sand to dry.  19 year Keith is missing his mom and is very happy for Reem to mother him.  Next thing you know Reem is in the water helping Keith practice his swimming.  Wendy is also tagging along.  Rick the news dude sees it and immediately gets all "omg those 3 are bonding".  They're "dividing themselves from everyone else".  They all laugh because those 3 are the perceived losers and they've self sorted themselves out.  

Challenge:  Ok, it has like 15 parts with an obstacle course, a rope one person has to climb and ring a bell, then a balance beam which leads to knots that when untied open the balance beam to be not so narrow, Then someone climbs a crows nest and something something there's a giant puzzle.  Oh, the rope climb in step 2a is exactly the thing from the president's physical fitness crapola from junior high so I now know why you would want that skill.  

So, blue can't get over the balance beam while Joe the beautiful kicks ass.  Kelley takes a BIG FALL , and everyone ends up at the puzzle.  Yellow wins immunity sending blue to tribal.  

Reem, Wendy, Rick and Keith are at the well and Reem and Wendy are discussing getting rid of Kelley or Lauren who seem to have paired up.  Keith doesn't like that and runs to David et all to tell them. David want Reem out.  People seem to be cool with it.  Wardog decides to pull Wendy aside and get her take but she's in with Reem and says she can't help her age.  Wardog then suggests voting Wendy out instead.  Wendy tells Keith and Reem that everyone is targeting Reem, who confronts David and Rick but ultimately gets nowhere.  "Screw them"

Tribal and FIRE IS YOUR LIFE.  

Basically it starts as someone pointing out there are several mini groups and then Jeff says, "Reem you seem annoyed"  and it goes down hill from there.  Bottom line is everyone is crapping on Reem, saying she's mothering them, etc.  Reem tries to argue her way out, saying things like "if you didn't want me touching your stuff, you should have said something" but even Reem realizes about half way through that indeed the "old lady" is probably the one going home first as literally every one is jumping on her.  

Finally Jeff puts an end to it and they vote.

Kelley 1

Wendy 3

Lauren 1

Reem 5 at least.....

Reem leaves and gets to a fork in the road-wanna keep playing?  Take a torch and follow the path to a boat.  Last thing we see is her getting out of the boat on an island and saying..."OMG there is nothing here....."

Hello people!!  I'm going to try to bang through this update because I have wrapping and buying and baking and cleaning to do still!!  Is it me or is this a VERY late finale??  Late or not this has been a spectacular season of Survivor game play!!  Particularly once Jeff shut the HELL up with the David and Goliath junk philosophy.

So we begin this episode after that amazing tribal where Christian played his idol and Gabby ended up on the jury.  Christian still got 5 votes and is now suspecting Nick's motives.  

Nick surmises that there is another idol in play.  While looking for it he decides to make a fake idol and hides it, hoping someone will find it and try to use it. But like a kid on Christmas, that idol was burning a whole in him and he decided, in front of Ang and Christian to pull it out and pretend to find it to give himself time to find the real one.  He thinks, HOW EASY WAS THAT!!  And now the search is over.  

Nick tells Kara about the idol.  Davie hears the story as well but doesn't believe it.  He must know Nick is a snake by now.  He wonders, "what if that was his old idol?" and decides to keep looking-tells Christian he is gonna need all the help he can get to take him out.  Christian isn't so sure about taking him out because, like everyone left, they need someone WORSE to hide behind.  

Reward challenge:  Untangle enough rope to get through an obstacle course and to the beanbag throw.  Of course you also need enough rope to pick up the missed bean bags but not everyone thinks of that in their initial zeal.  Wanna know?  A helicopter ride to a resort where they can order off the menu.  Including the Fijian bang bang with the happy ending, Jeff??  Davie wins reward.  Davie is also a dead ringer for Lavar Burton in his starring role as Kunta Kinte in Roots with his bandana on his neck and his stroooong black sweaty chest.  

Who so you want to join you in an afternoon in the big Massa's house Kunta?  I'll take Master Nick.  You get another pick but does anyone want to plead their case?  Angelina plays her Rice Card ONE MORE TIME.  He picks Kara.  Ang thinks Davie  just made a million dollar mistake.....  

Returning to camp Ang is STILL ANGRY she can't still be using that rice as a cudgel.  I mean, what's the point of using your YALE SKILLS on these low class people?  She decides to make herself a big old pot of revenge rice, which apparently is NOT best eaten cold.

On the reward Davie explains he wanted to keep his frenemies (Nick) close and his friends (Kara) closer.  I must have missed his bonding with Kara.  He decides while on the reward he will talk to Kara about getting rid of Nick.  She tells him that Nick might have 2 idols.  He needs to go.  Davie says they need to blindside him.  Whatever we do, DO NOT TELL NICK OR ANGELINA.  Kara sees this as a way to take "her game" to the next level.  

Kara talks to Alison.  Tells her that Davie wants to take out Nick without Angelina or Mike knowing.  Alison is like, OMG ANOTHER WEEK WHERE IT'S NOT ME!!

And then Alison runs right to Mike.  Says she's doing it to "prove her loyalty".  To a snake. OK.  

Mike says this will break the game wide open but he's torn because he is bonded with Nick. 

Davie still thinks there is a real idol out there.  So he looks and WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE finds a clue to an advantage.  "Chose your moment and return to the merge feast area.  He waits until it is raining and goes out.  It's an idol to be used only at the next tribal BUT.... There are 4 urns and he can prolong the life of the idol by picking the right urn.  However it will cost his next vote.  Davie stands there heavy in thought and asks God, who watches Survivor and waits until he's needed to throw the game.  He calls on God to give him a sign, maybe have the fire point to the right urn.  Instead God flips him off and the flames point away from them.  

Immunity Challenge

Cmoninguys!!!

It's a waiter challenge.  Stand on a perch and balance BALLS on a disk.  And it's all BALLS BALLS BALLS from here.  Now, I have actually been asked to NOT include any BALL jokes in this update (Jeff Sellman I am looking at you tying my hands on the best material of the season).  But before I get to the BALL jokes, I want to point out that Jeff was wearing little pedi socks in his shoes like a girl.   (Jeff Probst, not Sellman, although I don't ACTUALLY  know Jeff Sellman wasn't wearing pansy little girl pedi socks either).  And also before we get to the BALL jokes can I say how UNGODLY gross  those ugly high wasted leggings of Angelina's are??  I  mean, Jesus, there must be a swarm of dead fish loving insects just riding on her crotch at all times.  

BALLS BALLS BALLS.  Jeff is just making one double entendre after another!!  It's just a damn shame I promised JEFF SELLMAN that I wouldn't mention all of the BALL JOKES out there.  Sigh.  

After all of the descending, and dropping, on the move balls and hanging ball jokes we AREN'T going to talk about, it comes down to Mike vs Alison.  And has anyone noticed Alison routinely has bandaids on her feet??  WTF??  Is she shagging that Aussie medical dude off camera??  Since when do they get bandaids???  

Mike wins immunity.  

Back at camp Nick says that Alison is a big threat and he's worried about the David vs Goliath numbers.  Nick tells Ang and Kara that he wants Alison. Nick tells Mike it's Alison.  Mike  says there are 2 scenarios but he's feeling bold and wants Christian.  

Mike talks to Angelina about Christian.  Ang thinks Nick is a bigger threat.  Mike talks to Nick about Christian.  I am already crying about this.  

Nick says he is worried that Alison has an idol. He tells Davie that his second one is fake. Now Davie doesn't want Nick out, wants Alison to go.  But either way he is playing his idol.  

Mike decides to "lay out the cards" and tells Nick that Davie is gunning for him.  But instead of going for Davie they should go for Christian this time....

Tribal

Nick says they are all still going  mph but that MORE aggressive play is needed

Angelina says  her vote is more about who is left

Davie says his mind is in a frenzy with who to trust

For the first time I am convinced Jeff's astute and pointed questions are dubbed in later

Christian points out that everyone left has written his name down at some point

Ang says the game is now fluid

and Davie agrees that every tribal has different voting blocs

Mike says that everyone left really likes each other so you still want to work with people that you have voted for

Nick says this is high level of gameplay

Alison says that once you do survive you are an even bigger threat

Christian jokes that everyone can stop voting for him now because he is willing to work with anyone

Mike says this could be a million dollar vote and because he is safe he wants to make a big impact

Time to vote.....

Any idols??  Davie plays one.....for himself.  Alison is just sitting there taking her pulse.  Maybe we should stop tribal and have medical pull her?

Nick plans an idol.......for who??  He says it was a fake idol but he wanted to read people's faces. Angelina tells him he doesn't need to.....he decides to play the real one for himself.  

Davie gets 2 votes....Alison gets 2.....and GOD DAMMIT Christian is voted off.   Nick realizes he wasted his idol.  

  

So...tomorrow night!!!  Get all your shit done by 8 because I think it is going to be a BARN BURNER finale!!!  Good luck to everyone and in this  house I will be holding my nose and rooting for Mike.  

Survivor: Play that damn idol!!

Hello and welcome to another week of Survivor!  WHAT AN EPISODE!!  Finale is scheduled for next Wednesday so congrats to everyone still hanging in!  I don't think I have paid, so Nancy do you want to double check where we are?

So, last week we had a blindside that Nick was unaware of in advance.  He's totally pissed off at how DUMB the David's were to blow the numbers when they worked so hard to get back on top.  Nick tells Christian that Gabby just flipped and the Mason Dixon alliance is dead.  

Reward Challenge- and it's the big family day!  So we have:

Davie's mom Hazel who says he has always been an explorer

Alison's mom Willa

Kara's HUGE brother Eric

Nick;s dad Jim who is also huge

Gabby's mom Carnita who says Gabby is type A and calls her constantly to calm her down.  Well, move over Carnita because that role is now filled 24/7 by Christian

Angelina's mom Anna-who within the first 30 seconds gets to hear all about the fucking rice deal.  IS IT ME OR ARE THESE MOMS REALLY YOUNG??

Mike's gentleman friend Josh.  Mike says it gets harder when you see everyone has a network of people pulling for them

and...Christian's very shy girlfriend Emily.  She tells him he looks like a crazy man and he just keeps apologizing to her.  It's clear he really adores her and it's also clear Gabby is taking note of every second of their interaction.  

They no longer have the families actually participate in the challenges, which is a bummer, but instead the survivors are paired up and go through an obstacle course, dig up keys and have to throw and land 2 balls on a perch.  

Angelina and Nick win.  They get to pick 2 other couples and pick Davie and his mom, and Mike and Josh.  On the way out Christian tells Emily to enjoy the flight home and watch a lot of movies.  

The reward is food.  And maybe a boat ride.  I can't really remember but they are all together eating.  Nick tells his Dad that "this could be the final 4".  Angelina announces to the group that this is her preferred final 4, and Mike says they have to figure out how to make it happen.  Davie isn't so sure because they're basically all Goliath  and him, and he is starting to rethink this whole final 4 thing...

Back on the beach Christian is talking about Emily and how shy she is.  I think it's more of a clinical issue but yea, let's all just go with 'shy".  Meanwhile Gabby realizes that he was comforting Emily like he does her.....Hmmmmm.  

And then her eyes turn dark green, she rips out of her red plaid shirt and green pants and says to Alison, "I think we need to get rid of Christian".  She says she needs to show the jury that she can play her own game.  She doesn't want to be seen as Christian's side kick because she basically has been Christian's sidekick for 31 days.  Kara is like I'M ALL DOWN WITH THAT.  

BANG,  we are back to the immunity challenge.  Stand holding a pole in the palm of your hand that is attached to a bucket of water.  Given the last IC took 5 hours and Jeff had to listen to Christian explain quantum physics, they went into the challenge closet and found the fastest one they could.  Oh and to make it go even faster, every couple of minutes they had to move their feet.  (And DO NOT tell me those bugs biting everyone during the challenge weren't being thrown in by the camera crew).  

It comes down to Kara and Davie and Kara wins immunity and they unleash the kracken of tribal jockeying.  

Gabby says for the 1000th time, "it's time for me to make a BIG RESUME BUILDING move".  Gabby talks to Christian and he says they have to get Alison out.  Gabby thinks PERFECT we can blindside him!  And then of course Gabby goes away to cry about having to get rid of her best friend.  

Gabby tells Nick and Davie that Christian is the biggest threat and he's been getting all of the credit for the big moves.  Nick is like, "CHRISTIAN IS DEAD TO ME".  So now he's fine with further decimating the David numbers.  

Nick and Davie tell the plan to Mike and Ang, and they decide that if he uses his idol, Gabby is the back up.  Davie though isn't all on board with this because if Christian goes, who is going to be his shield?  

Davie tells Christian "you gotta be careful about Gabby, she is gunning for you".  Christian is STUNNED.  He asks if Nick is in with the plot and Davie tells him he is.  

Christian decides he has to repair things with Nick so he goes and apologizes to him, says he "made an error and I understand why you are angry".  Which is so refreshing from the usual "sorry if you got upset" bullshit apologies of today.  Nick says he doesn't trust him anymore but he'll manipulate him back.  Nick tells him, "As long as it's Alison, I'm cool with it".  Christians heads into tribal saying he has Nick back in his good graces but still isn't sure if he needs to play his idol tonight.  PLAY THE FUCKING IDOL!!!

Tribal, and clearly Carl has drank all the beer at Ponderosa and is still mad.

Angelina says some people were mad about the big move last week

Nick says that "just because someone makes a big move doesn't mean it is a good move

Christian says it effects them going forward or probably something much more intelligent that went over my head.

Nick says he and Christian rebuilt their relationship.  And then I'm sure he winks.

Gabby says she is now ALL CONFIDENT about her ability in the game

Alison says that she is now a bigger target.  

Angelina says not everyone has a target on their back just "someone who I don't see an ending with"

Nick says something about putting people on the jury that you don't want to go up against.  PLAY YOUR FUCKING IDOL CHRISTIAN

Mike waffles about it never being easy or safe and then moves might not be the right choice.  

Time to vote.

PLAY YOUR FUCKING IDOL CHRISTIAN

Anyone have an idol?

PLAY YOUR FUCKING IDOL CHRISTIAN

Christian, "hang on Jeff, I'm not sure yet".....he looks around

PLAY YOUR FUCKING IDOL CHRISTIAN'

"Ok, something is telling me to play it.

Gabby asks him how he got that big brain.

Christian gets 7 votes, DOES NOT COUNT.

Alison gets 1 and

GABBY GETS TO GO TO PONDEROSA and melt down alone with Carl. "Sorry Christian, I love you...." "See you soon!!"

Giant Survivor Recap

Good afternoon and welcome to this week's update, which will also include the night before Thanksgiving AMAZING TRIBAL.  Sorry there was no update last week, please forward your complaints on to Verizon, who left me without cable for 7 days!!  Thank GOD there are no sports fans in this house!!

So the week before last included one of the most amazing tribal councils ever.  Feeling this was their last chance to keep the game from become a Goliath romp, the David's pooled all of their ammunition.  First, Davie played his "steal a vote" and took Alison's vote (ignoring correctly her promises to join the Davids).  After the vote Dan, who was the target played his idol.  Upon opening the basket, Jeff revealed that the new MOST POWERFUL tool ever, the idol nullificator, had been played and Dan's idol no longer had any power.  Dan's face when he was voted out was priceless!!!

So now we have 10 people left with a 5-5 split and the first equal chance the David's have had in a long time.  Carl says they are "masterminds" that will make Survivor history, and their goal now is to bury the Goliaths.  

Ang is all WTF happened?  She believes she was stabbed in the back by her own alliance-says she can be much more vicious than she's been to date.  

It's early morning and the scrappy Davids are all up looking for a new replacement idol or advantage.  He and Davie decide to look at the other side of the beach where so far nothing has been found.  They of course find all the signs and the rock path the producers left leading them RIGHT TO A CLUE.  The clue tells them they have to be daring, sneaking out of camp and going to the farthest point to find the idol hopefully without being noticed missing.  

Reward Challenge:  2 teams, rope bridge and then basically throwing giant rolling pins on a giant ladder.  Wanna know??  A picnic with wraps, salads and alcohol.  Yay for alcohol!  Team 1 (purple): Ang, Nick, Carl, Kara and Davie.  Team 2 (orange): Alec, Alison, Gabby, Mike and Christian.  Alec is a crazy challenge winner and the orange team comes from behind to win.  

At the reward, Alec says he was the star.  He thinks that this is his opportunity to get back into Gabby and Christian's good graces.  He claims he wasn't part of Goliath the last vote and basically says he's putting on the waiter charm in order to get a big tip from G and C.  Alison also tries to suck up saying she is NOW totally committed to working with them.  Gabby thinks she has more options now on who to work with.  

On the reward, they get their letters from home and it's all determination and tears now.  Christian says he is now a force and needs to make hard decisions.  I'm so totally into Christian-he's such a strange dude but in a hot way.  Is it just me ladies??

On the beach Carl is frustrated, having never gotten a reward challenge.  No food is no food.  Carl tells the losers that Alec is a challenge beast and asks if anyone knows if he has an idol.  Kara is like, really??  In front of me he is asking over confidently about my alliance member??  

Returning to camp, both Alec and Alison barf up the excess food they stuffed down their gullets.  Nick just needs them to go to bed so he can get the idol.  

Later in the night Nick takes off and Davie tries to cover for him.  Alison is still up but is too busy throwing up the Chicken Caesar wrap made with that bad romaine we keep hearing about.  Nick walks into the light, literally, and finds the idol.  "People are going to find out that I'm strong soon".  

Immunity Challenge.   Although today would have been a good day for the disgusting food, instead it's a balance thing, the twist being you have to hold onto a handle behind your head.  Jeff: "if you feel secure you can opt out and feast on nachos and beer.  Ang, Carl and Nick opt out.  

Ang and Carl clink beer bottles and toast to the future and Alec losing.  

After 2 hours it's Christian, Gabby and Alec.  Alec is telling them he is going to win no matter what.  Gabby is upset because she thinks this is the only challenge she has a shot at winning but he gets into her head and she drops out.  So it comes down to Christian and Alec.  Alec keeps up telling Christian that no matter how long it takes, he's not going to win.  After 3 hours Christian asks Jeff if he can tell a story and then continues to talk science and god knows what all for about 2 more hours.  He's funny as hell saying when is he ever again going to get the chance to say, "Jeff, by the way...".  It's really brilliant because it keeps his mind occupied and drives Alec nuts.  Christian tells Alec that he's safe but Christian isn't.  He also tells Alec that he may never again get the chance to win immunity again.  Alec appears to get dizzy and drops leaving Christian to win immunity!!  Tribal isn't for a day and a half which is a long time for plans to go awry.  

Alec thinks that he lost mentally.  Says he couldn't handle it.  "People see me as too much of a threat".  

Carl wants Alec gone.  He's too much of a challenge beast.  Gabby, who is waaaaay too "sensitive" thinks Carl is being too controlling.  Calls him the godfather.  She is infuriated that he told Kara their desire to get rid of Alec.  

Christian and Gabby have yet another therapy session.  Gabby wants to know why Kara had to know about the last tribal when she didn't know.  She feels like her not knowing made her look stupid.  Christian tells her that she's being too emotional, tries to calm her down.  Christian thinks Carl and Gabby are on a collision course.  

Alec talks with Alison and they think Carl is blinded by power and driving things.  He tells Nick and Kara that they should get rid of Carl.  He tells Christian.  Christian was thinking of getting rid of Alec but he wonders if having Alec still around takes the target off him.  Says he needs people to perceive other threats around.   

Tribal:

And first can I point out that Elizabeth actually looked BETTER before she got cleaned up for the jury???

Christian says it was very vulnerable of him to say that he could win that challenge.  He also talks about always having the memory of having Jeff as a captive audience. 

Alec says he also felt vulnerable but he got dizzy

Jeff asks Nick about sitting out and eating and he says in fact other people were saying they should have eaten as well.  

Carl points out that it was so far his only chance for food

Kara digs him that he apparently felt comfortable enough to sit out.

Christian says it's a calculated decision to make

Angelina says something about it being part of her calculation to sit out.

Alison says that she doesn't buy ANYTHING Ang says anymore.

Ang calls her a hypocrit and says all of this is about more than her eating nachos, and points out that last week's vote said a lot.  

Alison says that there are no blurring of lines between Davids and Goliaths-says "we all know Alec is going"

Alec points out that he may be a threat but he also may be a shield for some people.  

Christian says something about every strength can also become a weakness

Carl doesn't think they were $1 million nachos.  'I feel I made the right decision based upon my connections'.  

Time to vote.  Any idols?  Nope, for a change! Carl gets 1 vote and Alec is the next member of the jury.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!!!

We are now at 5 Davids and 4 Goliaths.  Nick (famous last words) "we have all of the power now".  

Alison cries about Alec going and Christian comforts her.  She tells him "I always wanted to work with you".  She says that she is now the biggest threat, wants to know if she missed her opportunity to work with Christian and Gabby.  

Reward Challenge- 2 teams, swim to a ladder, climb way up and jump off.  Dive down and get buoys and then sink baskets.  Christian sits out.  Wanna know?  A speed boat cruise and a chicken dinner.  Orange: Kara picks Carl, Davie and Mike.  Purple: Alison picks Nick, Gabby and Alison.  Orange wins reward and Jeff's personal speedboat picks them  up for reward. Carl starts drinking beer almost immediately.  

Kara says it's a great time to reconnect with Carl and Davie.  Mike says it's a good time to suck to the new kings.  Carl keeps sucking the beer down and declares that Alison has to go next.  Kara is pissed off that he thinks she would go along with that.   Davie is also drunk.  He says something about now being an athlete and proving his "black heart".  Carl says there are people remaining that are shady.  Says Alison is shade but I LOVE YOU GUYS!!  Kara says she is just a pawn in his game, and she knows where his head is now (up his ass IMO).

Back at camp Gabby is on another whine.  Carl is perceived as calling all the shots-we need to remove him AND get the credit.  Gabby tells Alison she wants to blindside Carl.  

Meanwhile Carl is still drunk, telling Davie, Ang and Nick that it's Alison next.  Ang is his new best friend.  She says it's those 4 and Christian will go along.  They decide to now tell Gabby-says that Ang has now replaced Gabby.  

Mike says that Carl is the godfather and he is OK with the blindside.  Alison is just "hey it's not  me so I'm cool".  

Carl tells Christian but says they're not telling Gabby.  Christian says he loves to defer to someone half sloshed.  He decides that's the final datapoint that Carl has to go.  Christian tells Mike he's ready to flip on Carl.  Mike feels like it's all a win win for him-either the godfather goes or wonder woman goes.  

In the morning Christian tells Gabby "now I'm telling you the real plan, wink wink".  Gabby is glad she is making a move- "do people think I'm stupid"?  No, Gabby, they think you are an emotional nut job with the constant tears.

Ang and Alison talks about the rice being depleted.  Ang says it's her chance to use her mad negotiation skills from her YALE MBA class with Jeff.  Seriously, I shudder to imaging what kind of assholes there are in the Yale MBA program.   Mike is aggravated that she has basically done an inventory of everything they have and is ready to sell it all for a bag of rice.  

Challenge: Over an obstacle, then the spinny post which makes me sick watching it, then cross a balance beam, followed by a word puzzle. 

Ang: Jeff the tribe is wondering if you are open to negotiating for rice?  Jeff: what's your offer?  

Ang: all of the fishing gear, all of the cook stuff, 2 chairs, the hanging seat, sex with all of the women remaining, the men will wash your car every week for life.... for a bag of rice?

Jeff:  Or, someone could give up a shot at immunity and I'll send rice rationed every day

Ang: I'll do it!!  He was probably going to offer that deal anyway but Ang thinks she just got a big item for her resume.  CAN I SAY HOW EFFING SICK I AM OF THIS WHOLE RESUME SHIT???

I totally was guessing Carl and Davie would stagger hungover through the challenge but I underestimated their capacity for drinking.  They all end up at the work puzzle which has 11 letters from the 13 they have.  Carl gets "perceptions" but that's not the right word.  However it is close enough that both Davie and Alison realize what the answer it.  Davie wins immunity seconds before Alison gets it.  

Ang thinks the rice negotiation was the best case scenario.  "I was able to close the deal with Jeff AND we can now take Alison out.  Ang is all "oh, it's ok, you all don't have to thank me for the rice.  

Carl says, "no discussion.  It's Alison.  We are using Mike and Ang for the vote".

Alison tells Kara that she knows it's her.  She says her game depends on Christian, Gabby, Kara and Mike.  "We need to keep Mike with us".

Mike: "I'm a brilliant director and actor.  It's easier for my game if Alison goes but Carl is totally annoying".

Christian says "Mike is an actor but I have to trust him".  Gabby: "If Carl goes home I'll be vindicated.  But if he doesn't. I'll be exposed."

Tribal

Kara says although it appeared there was a shift last week with the unanimous vote, nothing is official until it's signed.

Alison says last week's vote was to prove alliance to the Davids

Ang says they are now giving each other permission to play hard without hurt feelings

Alison says it has been too calm at camp, which is discomforting

Carl says some arrogant shit like "if they want to come talk to me they can"

Gabby says conversations this week have been very deliberate.  You have to have confidence in your alliance

Mike says it's now not just as easy as picking off Goliaths

Ang says some bullshit about nervous energy and brings up her big rice deal ("nobody has ever done a deal this big in the history of this country"-where have I heard that recently??)

Davie says again that although there could be one plan there are 9 other personal plans going on

Vote...Idol? Nope

Alison 4....Carl 5 and there are a lot of very confused looks!!  

Jeff: "The lines have blurred".

And may we not have many more of these 2 hour episodes to cover!! Seriously is anyone still reading???

Survivor: What a Tribal!!

Hello and welcome to the recap of this week's outrageous episode!  I am really liking this season, as the people seem different in some way.  More 3 dimensional and mostly likable.  With the exception of Angelina that is.  Whoooboy what an obnoxious woman! I can only imagine that her co workers at whatever financial company she is consulting at are overjoyed at her taking a month off.  

We start off this week with her realizing that she got caught lying to everyone.  So she runs around lying some more. giving all kinds of new explanations for telling Elizabeth that she was going home.  People are like, OK.  Alec thinks she is a slimeball, Alison isn't buying it and even DAN says that if she's not willing to own what she did he can't trust her.  

Mike thinks Angelina is "defanged".  I doubt that.  Mike talks to Christian about their 6 strong alliance - "strike force" but questions why Gabby is acting like she;s not fully on board at tribal-especially the last one.  Mike is getting on my nerves a bit already.  He's a complainer and a second guesser.  

Davie and Nick to out looking for an idol.  They find a clue with the picture from the merge feast of a tree on a cliff in the wind.  They decide to look for such a tree.  They see the tree but everyone is lounging on the beach so Davie distracts them all while Nick finds the advantage-it's a steal a vote.  Davie tells Nick about Carl's vote nullifier advantage.  "Now we here, baby!!"

Reward Challenge:  I think this is the first of these?  They are divided into 2 teams standing under a trough of water, with sandbags tied to their wrists.  They have to hold the sandbags up although they can change them around between them.  Periodically one person gets to leave but the others have to carry the weight.  Wanna know?  12 pizzas for 6 people.  

Gabby picks: Christian, Alison, John, Alec and Nick for her team.  Mike picks Carl, Davie, Dan, Angelina and Kara.  Ultimately Dan drops his sandbags and Gabby's team wins reward.  Angelina blames Dan for the loss and says she "can't wait for it all to catch up with him".

The pizzas, breadsticks and soda arrive and the winners take their feast away from the rest of the group.  Mike is all "oh, I'm not here for the rewards I just want the million $$" bitter.  He is beginning to second guess the strike force, saying "if I go with the Goliaths I might get screwed by the Davids".  Mike talks to Alec-has decided that Christian is the riskiest.  Says he's the true player that could win.  Alec hears his point but Alec has something against staying with the Goliaths.  

Mike decides to stick with his original Goliath alliance and is lobbying for Christian to go.  Which makes Angelina furious, because when she suggested that last week no one wanted to do it.  She feels like now that a man has suggested it everyone suddenly likes the idea.  They decide to go for Christian but tell everyone that the vote is for Angelina.  Ang is mad about being the decoy in case something goes wrong and she gets accidentally voted off.  

Immunity Challenge

Balance a buoy thing (it's a ball with 2 sticks) while standing on a balance beam.  It goes pretty fast and comes down to Dan vs Angelina.  Dan wins immunity and I hope Angelina goes to Ponderosa.  

Mike is set on blindsiding Christian.  Dan tells everyone that it's Christian.  #brochacho blindside

Angelina is still seething about being the decoy, going on and on about it.  Dan promises her his idol if it comes down to it.  

Dan tells Nick that it's Christian because he doesn’t't want him surprised.  Nick wants to know what happened.  He turns around and tells Christian that they're lying to him.  Christian thinks that he is screwed. Nick asks him to not do anything and trust him.  

Nick approaches Davie and asks him if he would save Christian.  Davie isn't 100% sure he wants to use his steal a vote.  He wants to stay under the radar a little longer.

Tribal

Angelina tells Jeff that she wanted everyone to know what really happened last time and to forgive her

Nick points out that the Goliaths don't even care what she does as long as they keep the numbers

Mike says that the Davids really are involved, and were last week as well.

Davie says he hopes that they still do have input

Carl says that's bullshit, they have the #'s and don't care about the Davids

John says something about "you get what you give", implying that the David's are responsible for their position in the game

Nick points out to him that you don't gain trust just by telling people how to vote

John says he is interested in voting out threats

Christian says he's worried.  Says he put a target on his head from the first day when he was trying to show that the David's were strong.  He points out that he has also built brochacho relationships.  

Angelina says pointing that out is stupid because it shows that he is an EVEN BIGGER THREAT.  She points out that last week was the last time they were all mellow.  Tonight there will be happy and unhappy people

The vote.  

Anyone have an idol??  Davie gets up and plays his for Christian

Angelina almost has a fit telling Dan he has to play his for her.  He plays his and she yells out DID YOU SAY FOR ME?????  Yes. 

The vote is 7 Christian-doesn't' count, 2 for Angelina, which sadly don't count and out of NOWHERE, 2 for John who gets to go to the Gym on Ponderosa.