Survivor: Pre Finale!

And here we are.  The last update before the finale.  And a 2 hour episode which is one of the many many many things right now that are frosting my ass.  Fortunately it was only an hour and 45 minutes episode, with a 15 minute recap of the season.  So, in case you turned in thinking you were going to watch one of the 20 versions of NCIS, or CSI or whatever CBS has on every freaking night, and instead you found yourself in the penultimate episode of Survivor, and you thought, "hmmm, how can I get all caught up on this season of a show I haven't given enough shits to watch, so that I can blow 3 hours next week watching the finale??"  You were in luck.  And, IF THERE IS A GOD, please let this mean we don't have to endure the "walk of loser torches" where the final 3 or 4 pretend to remember half of the people thrown off and try to say something nice about them.  "Oh, I remember Judy, she was the one with the nervous nose picking tic and no social skills who we just had to get rid of first."  

We begin with Denise being ALL DONE.  So done that she wants to get 2 tattoos, one on each wrist, that say "Endure" and "Let's Go".  Note to Mark Burnett-how about including basic tattoo gear in that "sponsored  by Michaels" craft kit everyone seems to be playing with this season.  Seriously, a prison-like Survivor tat could become the next B celebrity badge of honor.  

Jeremy the fireman and Tony the policeman are busting on each other.  Jeremy says "we have a week left", and Tony says no, we have 9 days.  9 days is 2 weeks.  Jeremy-no, 9 days is a week.  Jesus, but a 2 hour episode of this during a quarantine is like a fucking eternity!!  Tony finally tells Jeremy, "you work hard, I work smart".  Tony says that Jeremy is a number for him and he wants to keep him because he is still obsessing over the hyenas taking over.  

Sarah and Tony again pledge their support for Cops R Us, and reminisce how they disliked each other for 6 years.  Which again is why this season pisses me off with all of the back stories.  

Somber Ben, Sarah and Tony all swear final 3 alliance.  I wonder which one, Sarah or Tony, will stab the other first instead of going up against each other.  Would be smart.  Sarah says that Ben is obsessed with Jeremy going home, which would leave Sarah and Tony as sitting ducks.  Sarah tries to convince Ben that getting rid of Nick first is a better option.  She realizes that Ben needs to feel like he's "gotten a turn" picking who goes off so she tries to shift him to wanting either Nick or Michelle to go.  5 minutes later, Ben asks Tony "what about Nick going?"  Boing!  Sarah is a crafty cop.  Ben says he has Denise in his pocket and they have to navigate the 50/50 coin and any idols.  

Challenge:  Immunity and 2 fire tokens.  Shoot balls into a basket on a track, get the ball at the other end, dig and go under a pole, slide puzzle.  Nick unfortunately wins immunity.  Michelle is crying because she didn't get one ball in.  

Denise wonders who plan B is???  

Ben says that didn't go right.  Sarah suggests Denise as plan B.  Denise is Ben's friend and "one of his numbers".  He decides to create distrust between Michelle and Jeremy.  He asks Jeremy if he could borrow back that 50/50 coin from Michelle.  Jeremy tells Nick that they're saying it's Denise but he thinks it's a smoke screen because it's never an easy vote.  He tells him that Ben wants him to get the 50/50 coin from Michelle.

Meanwhile, Ben tells Michelle that he bets Jeremy will ask her for the coin.  And like all good editing, we next see Jeremy asking Michelle for the coin.  But he tells her that Ben asked him to do it and they agree that Ben is playing both sides.  

Jeremy approaches Nick and Tony and suggests Ben.  They agree but Tony has no interest in it.  He says that their best game is with Ben.  Nick, Ben and Tony agree to split between Jeremy and Michelle.  Sarah asks if Nick is secure because she doesn't trust him.  

Nick says there are 2 plans Jeremy vs Ben.  He's in the "power position" which is hilarious because he's really such an impotent player.  He says he's making his decision based on day 39.

Tribal

Michelle-thank you Jeff for stating the obvious today that I struggled.  She says she is trying to persevere.  

Ben says they aren't really putting on different personas because they are hungry and tired.

Sarah says that as a cop she can never hesitate no matter hunger or tired.  She has to enter every situation confident and in charge.  She says IT'S DIFFERENT THIS SEASON WITH FRIENDS.  (Thank you for stating the reason in a nutshell this season bugs me).

Nick says that his season people are more truthful which leaves the door open for a non truthful person.  Ok, maybe Jeff actually said this, he tends to monopolize the psychobabble at tribal.  Nick kind of half assed agrees.  

Jeremy agrees that this season is more personal.  

Ben says it's been an emotional and tactical war

Michelle says it is going to be hard after this season because people she is friends with have had to lie to her.  She says after the game her guard is always high for a while (but not high enough to not sleep with Wendell apparently)

Ben says after his first season he had trust issues with him wife.  

Jeremy says he wasn't right for 3 months after his season so he wants to have more fun this time.

Nick agrees that it takes a toll and he his playing more social strategies this season.

Tony thankfully changes the subject by answering a question about the decision is which soldiers one wants to move forward with.

Jeremy says everyone has their group

Sarah points out that there is still the 50/50...

Michelle says she expects the coin to be played on it's last night

Tony says "tonight we are making our beds".  Jesus help me.

Denise says she doesn't know if she's safe.  

Jeff points out that there is no chaos this tribal.  He almost seems disappointed.  

Vote.  Any?  Michelle says she should just play the 50/50.  Jeremy is giving her the big PICK ME! stare but she plays it for herself.  SAFE.  She does a little end zone dance and asks if she can keep it for a souvenir. Jeff tells her to bid for it on ebay like everyone else.  

Michelle 2

Ben 2

Jeremy 4....."Bad move, dude....."

Back at the ranch later, Ben is ecstatic!  "We both took out shots feels fantastic!!"  He tells Tony "I appreciate it man, I never had an ally on the seasons I played".  Tony is also thrilled because he's been on the top all along.  He wants Michelle next because "you don't keep a goat".  

Nick talks to Michelle.  M: "I was wondering if you would have the balls to talk to me..."  She wants to know what his great plan now that they don't have the numbers and are on the bottom.  He says he wants to see Ben go next and she reminds him that there is no path for that now.  Michelle says she needs to find an avenue to stay in.  It's "sassy" Michelle time.  She doesn't trust anyone and is willing to throw things up against the wall. 

At the craft table she tells Sarah that she has no strategy and she's gone.  But she reminds Sarah that it's one thing to get to the end and another to win.  She tells her that no one can beat Tony, the jury knows who is running the show but her door is always open if Sarah wants to change course.  

Sarah runs off and tells everyone what Michelle said, saying she's trying to pit her against Tony and she needs to go!  

On Edge they are eating their little mini scoops of rice.  Jeremy already hates the place.  Says all night he was thinking about what he did to deserve it.  

Tree mail- it's a clue about sitting on a throne, and everyone runs off.  Natalie finds it because she knows every inch of the island.  Tyson calls her the queen of Exile.  

She gets the advantage which is an opportunity to place a disadvantage on someone in the next immunity challenge.  $$  to give someone the power to use it against someone.  Natalie has to decide who to sell it to for the maximum number of tokens.    She sells it to Nick for 8 tokens.  He only has 6 so he has to pull someone in.  He knows Tony has none so he approaches Michelle.  She tells him she has 2 and asks what the advantage it.  She tells him "let's cause some chaos".  

They decide to play it on Ben which doesn't really make sense to me since he has never won a challenge.  The challenge is to stack blocks on a beam in a dominoes form and then knock them down to hit a gong.  Ben gets a longer beam.  Winner gets immunity and 2 fire tokens, and it's the last day to spend the tokens.  

Nick is thinking that if Ben loses immunity they can cause chaos.  Michelle ends up just beating out Ben, even with his longer beam and I have to admit it was a good choice.  As Jeff is putting the necklace on Michelle she points out that no one is clapping.  "Notice that, Jeff?"  She tells him today in particular everyone was all "it doesn't matter who wins as long as it's not Michelle".  Ben asks Jeff if he can know who the disadvantage came from and Jeff tells him "nope".  

Back at camp, Denise announces that with Michelle pulling it out she is no doubt on the block tonight.  She says she's OK with it but that she would like to use her giant bagful of tokens to buy rice for dinner before she goes to Exile.  She buys the rice but the plan is actually Nick.  Ben says his gameplan is now Nick but they're telling Michelle and Nick that it's Denise.  

Nick thinks he is a genius.  Wonders if he can get Tony on board with Ben.  Nick points out to Tony that Nick won his season by basically making fire faster, and Tony isn't a bit fire person.  This sticks in Tony's head.  

Aaand, the Spy Nest is open for business.  Denise, Sarah and Ben are talking.  Denise tells them that while she anticipates that those 2 are a solid 3 with Tony, that Tony is a strong choice with the jury.  That's all Tony has to hear and he's all DENISE HAS TO GO.  Tony talks to Michelle and asks her if they should all just go with Denise since she is offering her self up.  He says he has to talk to Sarah.   Michelle says it is now all back on Denise.  

Tony talks to Sarah who agrees Denise is a good option.  Sarah points out that Nick has a good underdog story.  They decide this is the biggest vote yet.

Tribal

Michelle says she is very much on the bottom and no one would strategize with her.  '

Sarah says that % when you think you are safe you need to work harder

Ben says that the extra 30% of beam cost him immunity. He still doesn't know where the disadvantage came from.

Nick says they are all at the point of choosing who you want to take with you. 

Sarah says something about managing your fire tokens and I still don't really think they have been very effective

Michelle says she is always surprised when people leave her tokens. Says they are priceless, and I'm thinking the word she is looking for is valueless.  

Jeff asks about the fear of who is coming back into the game

Ben says it's wery wery scary

Tony says something about trusting they make the right decision tonight

Denise says there aren't a ton of choices and points out that she bought everyone rice.

Nick says it's always surprising when someone like Denise feel they are done

Denise says she doesn't want to go buy she can only do so much and can't keep doing the cat and mouse.  

Adam on the jury says he thinks this is a fakeout

Nick says whatever the game hands you, you take it and move forward.  

Vote.  Idol? Nope

Denise 2

Nick 5.  "well done you guys".

UGH and there's a freaking half hour of the show left.  On exile it's time for everyone to do their long winded goodbyes.  Amber is especially sad because she's going to miss life being so simple and having a shit load of time to sit around with an unshaven, unwashed, gross breath husband but LITTLE DOES SHE KNOW it's all coming up soon in quarantine! 

IT NOW TIME TO BATTLE!  Well, not now but next week.  It's apparently the last day on Exile and everyone gets to settle up and buy their advantages.  Rob already has an immunity he bought last time that is "still good", Everyone that can is buying advantages.  Natalie who is basically the Rockefeller of Exile has a handful of tokens and spends them on peanut butter, the maximum 3 advantages, an idol for her and an idol for her new friend Tyson.  Tyson says that generosity is rare but if he gets in he is winning!

Good luck everyone!!!  

Survivor: Milk and Cookies

Welcome to the almost last Survivor update!  It appears we have a 2 hour episode tomorrow and the finale next week.  Seems like a lot of people still left hanging around, so I'm expecting a massacre this week!

Returning to camp, Jeremy is all "BIG MOVE TONY!".  Ben is mad at Jeremy for going along with it.  Ben is mad about 80% of this season.  Jeremy tells him to just chill out and play the game.  

Sarah on the other hand goes ballistic at Tony.  Calls it a "grimy ass move" that sunk her game.  The move to a more private part but everyone an still hear her yelling at him.  She doubts they still have the numbers.  "If I get voted off, do not every talk to me again".  So, soapbox time, this is why this season has bothered me, it's like Survivor with Friends instead of just Survivor.  Tony tells her to put her man panties on, this is war.  

Tony tries to smooth things over with Ben by saying it was just this one time!  I promise I will go back to my original alliance.  He tells Ben he has an idol and that he wants to go to the end with insipid, angry Ben.  LOL.  Who wouldn't!! Ben says that he blindsided him and Jeremy is still there.  Ben wants Jeremy gone next.  

Next morning, Tony realizes he's in trouble and he needs a little undercover operation.  He climbs the tree over the water hole and, with Sarah's help, makes a "spy nest".  Sarah tells him "it's golden".  She thinks he's non stop go (it's called manic honey)  and he's going to get himself voted off.  

Jeremy tries to talk to Ben and he ignores him.  Jeremy tells Kim that Ben is a child.  Kim is emphatic that Jeremy not go home.  She says Tony has to go.  Kim tells Denise, them Ben, then Michelle and then Nick that Tony has to go.  They're all in.  Kim decides she has to do something.

On exile, the beautiful people get a challenge.  "Chance to win fire tokens, requires tremendous effort".  It's another one of these carry shit up and down the "mountain".  20 coconuts and the first 6 people get 2 tokens.  Rob feels like he has an edge so he's literally running up and down like he's one of these young people and not just some old guy still living off a 39 day reality show adventure.  He finally decides he should slow down and let someone else set the pace.  Tyson can't keep up with the "girls",  Adam is literally the former fat kid that still never learned to run even with 6 years of remedial PE.  

The tide starts coming in and people are getting wet and having to jump over rocks.  Rob slips and falls and "cracks his elbow" and I get all excited that he will have to leave the show curing one more of my alternate anxiety producing problems.  But it's apparently not really broken because although he loses, he's still there.  No aussie medic today.  

Natalie the challenge beast comes first, followed by Sophie, Yul, Tyson and amazingly Parv.  Wendell bets the last spot when Danni falls.   Rob keeps going even after the challenge because of some reason.  Probably because the camera kept following him.  

Back on the real beach, Jeremy talks to Sarah.  Says that he and Ben used to be close but now Ben won't talk to him.  

Nick says NOW is my time to crank it up.  Says he and Michelle and Denise are down with working with him and he needs a BIG MOVE.  

Tony talks to Sarah and says they are in trouble.  NO SHIT SHERLOCK.  Says they need to find Sophie's idol.  Everyone is looking for it.  Ben and Tony are looking in the same area and talking, and Ben casually finds it and tries to hide it.  Tony calls him on it and they Bro it around and hug and "now we trust each other".  Ben says now they can begin picking everyone off,.. and then he carries Tony off into the woods.  

Immunity Challenge:  Stand on a perch with a hand tethered to a big bucket overhead. Both a male and a female immunity and fire tokens.  

At one point Jeff brings out the milk and cookies and Kim and Michelle take them leaving  Denise to win.  At the end Nick takes the cookies and Tony wins.  Denise tells Tony they're done and he won immunity.  "Come help me unhook the strap so i don't get wet.  

Kim is mad that her plan is foiled by Tony winning.  Maybe your pals could have challenged him at the immunity challenge instead of bailing for damn cookies.  Denise and Nick say Tony is now on the back burner.  Nick is all happy because Tony have him a fire token back and he got cookies.  None of these pussies should win.  

Michelle says she is distraught about Jeremy going home.  She offers him her 50/50 coin.  

Ben tells Tony that people were going to blindside him and Tony goes off the manic edge.  WHO  WHO WHO?  Ben tells him Kim and Tony is on a rampage.  Tony confronts Nick about it and Nick is a sniveling bumbling idiot.  Tony knows he's lying and is now 100% worried about Kim.  

Sarah asks Tony if it's Jeremy.  Tony asks Ben if he's 100% on Jeremy.  "Just hear me out here...." Tony wants Kim, says now that Nick can't be trusted.  Ben reminds Tony that Nick literally just gave him immunity.  Tony says they can stick together and get rid of "these rats". Ben tells him they'll get Kim next.  

Tony tells Jeremy that everyone is coming for him.  Jeremy tries to talk to Ben about Kim but Ben still won't talk to him.  Michelle gives Jeremy the 50/50.  

Tribal

Denise says last week was like bad family therapy that unleashed total chaos.

Kim says everything changes every day

Jeremy says it feels like it's shifting every hour

Jeff reminds Michelle that practically everyone dropped out of the challenge.  She says that " me and Kim were tore up with regret"

Jeremy and Tony start talking and Ben is watching.  I HATE THIS TALKING DURING TRIBAL SHIT.

Kim gets up and talks to Jeremy.  Sarah get up...

Nick says this is just common occurrence now.  Denise says they can't even get through one tribal with out this shit. Everyone is up talking except Ben and Sarah.

Kim asks why Tony is doing this?  Jeff asks Sarah if there is a point where you stop? And she says she is at her peak.  They can't shut off.  

Ben tells Sarah that Jeremy is saying it's her.  Denise says I'M DONE!!!  I'm ready to vote!!! Jeremy asks her if she's sure she wants to do that?  

Vote

Anyone have an idol?  Tony says, can you give me a minute?  He talks to Jeremy.  He asks Sarah if she's good.  Says he was going to play an idol for Sarah and she says "don't bother".

Jeremy gets 3 votes, Kim gets 5.  Boston Rob says that Tony is a boss, dude.  

Survivor: Extortion is Not Illegal

So last week at Tribal Jeremy used his idol and apparently did leave tribal.  Not sure how I missed that!  He's the only one back at camp and is happy with his execution of the idol.  Everyone slowly arrives back at camp except Tyson.  Tony is all what happened??  I thought we had a plan!  

Ben, Sophie, Sarah, Nick and Tony are miffed that Jeremy left and took their target away.  It was a crazy tribal but they decide to stick with the plan and again go after Jeremy.  

Jeremy tells Ben he is on the chopping block.  Ben says basically YUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!  He tells Jeremy that his is a big risk. Jeremy says he wanted Tyson to stay because he was his shield.  This whole "keep someone that's more of a target than I am" thing seems like it has a constant ability to bite one on the ass.  

Michelle says to Kim, this is a mess!!!  It's chaotic and we can't keep playing like this.  Michelle, Kim, Jeremy and Denise are all commiserating about being on the bottom. 

Tony, who is playing a much different less manic, game is being pensive.  In the past he could never find any idols so now that no one is watching him 24/7 he decides to go out  Idol shopping.  Nick also goes out and shows up near Tony cramping his style.  Tony sends him to the water well, where he has already looked, to check for an idol.  "Lookin, lookin, lookin, and as happens EVERY FLIPPING TIME he finds an idol.  

Meanwhile Sarah is working on her social game, creating her own clothing line and having everyone model them in a "fashion show".  Tony realizes that they play different games and Sarah really kills the social game.  Tony decides to do "undercover work" because he never gets to do that in real life.  He tells Jeremy some story that everyone was telling him to vote for Sophie.  He tells Kim he's working with her too.  Jeremy and Michelle discuss whether or not they want to work with Tony and decide yes.  They believe they now have 5 with Michelle, Jeremy, Kim, Denise and now Tony.  

On edge, Tyson and Yul talk about how some people can handle it and some can't and I'm all excited that Adam is going to drop out and relieve my anxiety about those alternates but, nope.  Natalie and Parv are out doing something and they find a note in a bottle with a message:

Goal was so clear to be crowned best of the best but with my fire gone its now a difficult test.  Yet I'll crawl if I must, there's no way I'll rest for to lie down now would be the end of my quest.  

They decide not to tell anyone and start looking, climbing all the way up to the top of the "mountain".  Once there they re read the message and realize it's under the bed which is a problem because there is always some one there.  They strategize and then decide Natalie will stay back when everyone goes to look at the sunset. She finds the tiny scroll and they read that it's an extortion advantage which allows THEN to extort someone for fire tokens.  They can chose a player and block him/her from both competing in the immunity challenge and voting at tribal.  They decide to use it on Tony for money and also because they know he would never give up an opportunity to vote at tribal.  

Tony gets the note and is OVER THE MOON!! He's so excited that HE gets to do a little extortion since he's usually on the other side of the law.  He keeps reading an is so into it! IS THIS ILLEGAL MAN!! He CAN'T WAIT TO USE IT!!. And then he finally reads the part about it being used AGAINST him for 6 fire tokens and he's WHAT???  THIS IS ILLEGAL!!!  LOL!!  6 fire tokens is double what he has and I have been wondering why not ask for a large amount and make someone have to borrow money.  

Tree mail!  And now Tony's time is getting short for deciding what to do.  Tony thinks he'll approach his fake alliance first and tell them if he can't vote it will hurt them.  Michelle tells him she has no fire tokens and concocts a story about having given hers to but an advantage AT EXILE  because she doesn't want him to know she already bought an advantage.  He buys her story.  She tells him Jeremy probably has one token so he asks him.  He says that would be really bad for us so yes I can give you my 1 token.  He has 4 tokens but not enough so he has to go to his "real alliance".  Nick and Ben both give him a token and he has enough to pay the extortion just in time for him to participate in the immunity challenge.  

IC is to stand on a beam balancing a statue with a long pole.  Tony wins immunity and 2 tokens.  He's over the moon how it all worked out, and vows they are going for Jeremy.  

Kim says yay for Tony and 2 in a row puts a target on his back.  She knows he's playing Jeremy but she doesn't have the numbers to do anything.  Only option is to beg.

They're all sitting around the fire and Sophie thinks there has to be more idols floating around.  Denise and Kim talk to Jeremy and say "you tell us".  Jeremy says he knows they are coming for him.  Kim suggests Ben.  Denise says she feels like a double agent but she thinks it's time for Jeremy.  

Jeremy says although he liked Ben at the time, that hat is really starting to bug him (ok, the hat part is me) and Denise and Kim want him to go.  

Tony says that since he's safe it's time for him to blindside someone.  Sophie is too close to Sarah.  He thinks Jeremy and Michelle will go along but he needs Nick but is going to wait until the last minute.  

Nick thinks they all have the numbers to get rid of Jeremy.  If we tell Jeremy, Nick and Michelle that we can save them by voting out Sophie they'll go along.  

At the last minute before Tribal, Tony tells Jeremy that everyone was going to vote for him but if they instead vote Sophie they can save him.  Jeremy is all WHY IS THIS HAPPENING AT THE LAST MINUTE??  Tony says unless you go along everyone is voting for you.  Jeremy says he wants Ben gone and isn't sure if he should trust Tony.  Tony is worried that Jeremy doesn't believe him and Kim and Denise have jumped ship on him.  

Tribal

Sophie says you can never go to tribal thinking you know the plan.

Ben says last time I had no idea and tonight he's again waiting for another bomb to go off.

Jeremy says people are telling half myths and you have to pick through the lies.

Sarah says people are trying to build resumes.  

Nick-says people are also making moves without trying to get credit or blame so that at the end you can do a big surprise! That blindside was mine.  

Sophie says there's also the issue of people having long resumes without quality and a lot of resume padding is going on.

Jeremy says it takes timing,  Last time he did his detective work and had to play his idol last time but he's not comfy today.  

Ben says it's been really quiet around him all day.

Michelle says that she was also told one plan and agreed to it so she's nervous she's out of the loop

Tony says it's a simple plan tonight because everyone was exhausted  from last time and just want a quiet easy night,

Sarah says something about it being psychological warfare and everyone being smart enough to figure it out.  A blindside is a sense of pride.  

Time to vote.  Any idols?  Nope.

Jeremy 3

Michelle 2

And Sophie is gone with an idol in her pocket!

Ben: BOOM!

Survivor: Family Vacation

Good afternoon and welcome to Survivor Quarantine!  Any one else notice I am WAY MORE compliant in getting these out every week when trapped in a house with a husband and 2 pain in the ASS dogs?  

This will be a short update because frankly I stopped taking notes with all of this family shit.  Couple of thought bubbles though:

1) Is CBS really that fucking cheap that they had to get Fiji Airlines to fly the families to Fiji??  C'mon.  40 seasons of possibly the cheapest show to film and edit and they need a bailout too??  

2) Did anyone else notice how COMPLETELY UNINTERESTED these kids were at seeing their moms or dads?  What the hell?  Were they all completely jet lagged by that shitty Fiji Airlines low budget back of the plane flight or was CBS unable to get corporate sponsors for them to also eat, shower and sleep?  I kept wondering if there were, as normal, 100 production members standing off screen holding up hand puppets.  Maybe Jeff Probst really a nasty mean asshole and all the children were afraid of him?  Hmmmmm.  

3) Most of my reaction to these family situations are along these lines: DO NOT KISS ME UNTIL YOU HAVE BRUSHED YOUR DAMN TEETH.  It's disgusting to me!!  

4) And most importantly, whose agent got this familyvisit for EVERYONE written into the contract?  Someone should give that man (or woman) a bonus!

Total waste of 20 minutes.  So after all of this crap Jeff says the challenge will be for all the adults and teens to swim way out to the ocean leaving the children on the beach with him.  Naaaaah, I was just kidding (and the producers didn't accept my challenge idea).  So it's back to the beach FOR EVERYONE, including the losers at Exile!  

Anyone else curious if the kids and grandma have to shit in the ocean like we are supposed to believe the players do?  Yea, you KNOW that's bullshit especially this "celebrity" season and that there is always a group of porta potties right behind the tree line- and the fancy ones with running water like the ones those annoying couples who want to be married in ridiculously inappropriate "natural" settings are forced by their parents to rent because "what about grandma's colitis??"  

Back to the game with a challenge for immunity and  2 fire tokens.  The challenge is that wobbly table held up by a rope one where the survivors have to go back and forth trying to spell IMMUNITY with blocks.  My husband immediately says "I'd be fucked by the spelling part of that challenge".  I'm like, "you'd be fucked by the complete inability to fix any wobbly table in this house" part of that challenge.  

Tony wins his first challenge in 3 seasons and is NYC proud!  Strutting around saying "slow and steady is not what I'm made of!"  They return to camp and "when you have the power people come to you".  

Jeremy talks to Tony and wants Sarah out.  He says he is all alone and thinks Sarah and Sophie are too close.  Tony is all NOPE.

Sarah talks to Tony and says Kim is dangerous.  Tony suggests Tyson.  Sarah thinks talking to Tony is like talking to a rock (correct, and also proves what 25 years of TV detective shows have shown-that women have to be so much smarter in everything and especially police work).  She says this is a crucial decision and he isn't listening.  We need to get together!

Tony asks Nick and Ben if they want to vote Jeremy off. 

Jeremy calls Kim over and they agree they have no friends and need to stick together.  With Tyson and Denise and Michelle.  They agree to play to the end.  Kim tells him she has an idol, and they decide to vote out Sarah.  

Ben, Tony, Nick and Sarah decide Jeremy.  Sophie considers using the steal a vote advantage.  Says tonight is WAR!

Tribal

Nick says it finally feels like they are playin' the game

Aaaand the whispering and talking begins again....

Tony says he is glad he has the necklace tonight!

Sophie says the whispering could go on all night.

Jeff asks Kim what triggers the whispering and she says you can never know what is going on and it triggers people's paranoia and the need to keep checking if the plan is the plan.

Jeremy says this season is like everyone's season but on steroids

Time to vote?  Jeremy and Sarah both start to say something and then are both "you go ahead.,,,,no your go ahead"...  Then they are both quiet,  Jeff says Let's Vote!  And they both start to talk again.  Jeremy uses his skip a vote advantage-he can't be voted off but he also can't vote.  He also leave tribal but didn't.  

Which starts the scramble again.  Sophie says "hey guys, why don't all 5 of us go over here and make a decision?  

Time to vote now?  Sarah uses her steal a vote and takes Denise's vote.  

Time to vote now?  Yes. But afterwards Kim plays her idol for Denise.  

Denise gets 2, does not count.

Sarah gets 2

Tyson gets 4 and is off again to Exile.  

Kim is bummed because she almost used her idol for him!  

Survivor: Children at Waaaar!

Welcome back to the Survivor weekly update!  Hope you are all doing well and are keeping yourself busy.  After all, as the bible says, idol hands lead to dead husbands/wives.  

Michelle is PISSED OFF.  She was left in the dark about Wendell going to exile.  Yes, she wanted her former lover (or as he called it, we just kickin it) voted off but she is still PISSED they didn't trust her.  She and Nick go all I HATE THESE PEOPLE!!  Nick says, ME TOOOOO AND I'M NEXT!!  He says he's gonna LET THEM HAVE IT AND GET ON THE BLOOD TRAIN.  Which frankly always goes down better when you're not wearing a Brooks Brothers navy blazer.  Tony tries to talk him down and be the voice of reason but Nick is all OUT FOR REVENGE.  

Michelle talks to the other social outcast, Adam.  He says tribal was really scary for him but he's still there.  Michelle says that THEY ARE ALL DINGBATS.  Adam says that it might be an opportunity and tells her he noticed there was a fleur de lis on the podium, which is the same symbol that was on the idol he saw and he thinks it might be a REAL idol (he also thinks he might be a REAL BOY), and ho boy wouldn't that be an epic way to save himself!  Note:  The Fleur De Lis is also the symbol of the New Orleans Saints but that too is just a coincidence and the NO Saints do not provide immunity.  

Over on Edge it's yoga on the beach time.  Fun!!  Who wouldn't want to spend a month on a yoga retreat relaxing on the beach!  Yul finds a box with little scrolls for everyone that has a clue;  Step back and assess, sometimes when history repeats itself it can lead to success.  And then everyone runs around looking for fire tokens.  People run up the "mountain" to look, and then Natalie decides they should split up because whatever it is can be spent on FOOD and she doesn't want the newbies Yul or Wendell to get any more food.  Parv and Danni go off by themselves and Danni remembers from a former season Aubry looking up the steps and seeing a cave with the idol.  They rush down and find the clue.  It's a coin flip that they can sell to anybody for an amount they chose.  They decide Michelle has the most fire tokens and decide to sell it to her for 4 tokens.  The rest of their gang finds them and they admit they have the clue and now they'll have to split the peanut butter with 6 other dirty poop under the fingernails hands.  Yea, no thanks!!

Reward Challenge:  2 teams of 5, one person sits out and has no chance.  Swim out to a net with fish on it, take the fish off of the net and hang it on a long fishing pole, Carry the pole to the puzzle station and do the puzzle.  Wanna know?  Chinese take out.  So, fake American-Chinese food flown thousands of miles to Asia.  Yum!!  They don't even try to bring in the culture of the places they are inhabiting anymore.  

2 teams:  Red: Tyson, Adam, Tony, Nick and Jeremy vs Blue: Kim, Sandra, Ben, Sarah, Michelle.   Denise isn't picked.  Bottom line, Blue wins the reward.  Sarah asks if she can give her spot to Nick.  She claims she was just being a decent human being because it was his birthday the day before.  

Back at camp everyone claims it was a huge mistake.  Adam says it puts a target on her back and Tony pulls her aside to tell her it was a stupid decision because she 'got caught up in the moment"  and being human on Survivor could cost you the game.  

Jeremy, Adam and Denise agree it was TOTAL GAME PLAY.  Jeremy thinks she should go because of it.  

The winners eat their cold greasy leftovers and open all of the fortune cookies looking for clues.  Michelle gets one that says "don't be afraid to take the step".  Michelle them returns to camp and finds the 50/50 coin in her bag and has to decide whether it's worth all of her fire tokens.  She throws it a few times to "test it" (lol) and decides to buy it.  

Immunity Challenge:  It's the stand on the floating triangle/dog house thingy challenge.  And about half way through we are introduced to the new smash hit theme song, WINNERS AT WAAAAAR.  Kim wins the challenge and has immunity.  

Kim says it's an EASY vote split between Nick and Adam as long as the big group STICKS TOGETHER.  And then the proverbial shit is thrown directly into the fan.  

Everyone is running around crazy.  Nick tells Tyson that Sophie is throwing his name out there.  Jeremy and Tyson confer and decide Adam.  or Sophie....or maybe SARAH.  They tell Michelle it's Sarah and she's1000% in.  

Denise tells Kim it's now maybe Sarah.  

Kim tells Tyson she doesn't want Sarah.  Tyson tells her Adam is the one pushing Sarah, and he's more dangerous.  

Michelle tells Tyson they've changed to Adam.  Jeremy is like WHAT THE HELL?

Tyson tells Tony that Adam was pushing Sarah.  Tony says that's a big mistake, brother, and he'll learn.

Ben confronts Adam and asks him who said he and Sarah were too close.  Adam says, presidentially, "a lot of people say that".  Ben demands, DID YOU SAY THAT??  Adam is all hum um hum um and Ben walks away.  Adam says what does it matter?  And Ben says it matters to him and he keeps walking away.

(JESUS THIS IS LIKE BLOGGING A DAY IN PRESCHOOL)

Adam is now mad because Ben talks to him like he's a child and he plays just the same as Rob.  He's PISSED OFF NOW.

Nick ask Jeremy if his name is out there and Jeremy says yes.

Ben tells Tony that Michelle told me you said me.  Ben is like an old woman.  

Tyson and Michelle are still saying Sarah.

Everyone is all WHO ARE WE VOTING FOR???  

Adam decides he has to go for that podium idol.  

Tribal

Whew.  And just when I thought the whole WHO ARE WE VOTING FOR thing was over it's just beginning....

Sarah says this has been a cagey game with lots of blindsides but it's not cagey anymore!  She says names are flying everywhere and it's now a save yourself solo game.

Tyson agrees that everyone was running around

Jeremy ways it was like a fire on one side of a highway and then WOOSH it jumps the highway and the wind picks it up.  He says he's never seen anything like it.

Nick says there are the easy votes being thrown around,him. Tyson and Adam.  And then there were other names.  He says he's tired of not being treated like a player and he's ready to join someone (and then people just start talking to each other)

And in the middle of everyone talking Ben and Adam get into it.  Ben says this is just like camp all over again.  

Adam says Ben wouldn't talk to him.  Ben says he asked him a question and he refused to answer.  Adam says he wasn't going to throw someone under the bus. 

The jury discuss how paranoid Ben is

Adam says he's had Ben's back and Ben asks HAVE YOU??

Adam asks why people keep voting for him, suggests Ben is telling people to vote for him.  

Ben says Adam creates chaos.  Asks Adam how many times he's had to say "sorry" to people

Adam says he's being a player but if he thinks someone is coming after him...

Ben brings up the tribal when they blindsided Rob

Adam says he's doing what he has to do .  

I'm wondering if we can vote BOTH OF THESE PUSSIES OFF

Adam asks the group WHO ARE YOU ALL WRITING DOWN??

Tony says we already told you

Adam WHO ARE YOU ALL VOTING FOR??

Tony says "should we just say it now?  We go up to the little room. we write down a name, we vote and Jeff reads the vote"

Adam says I'M CONCERNED IT'S MEEEEE..... (Shit if it wasn't before it should be now...)

Jeff says, so Nick, that all felt like war...

Nick says yea but now I trust my place better...

Adam says but if he thinks that way NOW I'M WORRIED IT'S MEEEEEEEEE.  IS IT MEEEEE??

Dead

Silence.

Time to vote!  Any idols?  Adam gets up and tries to pull the fleur de lis off of the Jeff-stand.  It doesn't move.  He says I guess it's not an idol.  Jeff says, "You're convinced it's not??"  Adam gets all excited and says I WANT TO PLAY THAT PIECE OF DECORATION.  Jeff says that would be historic if that was an idol.  That...is.....NOT AN IDOL.  LOL!!!

Sarah gets 1 vote, Nick gets one and Adam is off to exile!  He gives Denise his token and says "screw you" to the rest.  

Survivor Merge Week!

Happy Wednesday and welcome to the MERGE WEEK UPDATE, when WE START REALLY REALLY PLAYING SURVIVOR!  Hey, anyone know how they are going to handle the finale??  More locked down than the last one I guess because the virus is way worse than just having s sexual predator hanging around.  

So we start this MERGE WEEK at the Edge and it's RETURN CHALLENGE DAY.  Everyone is using their fire tokens to buy advantages and I swear Natalie says something about buying immunity but no idea what that means.  Amber gives her tokens to Rob.  

At the challenge all of the remaining players WHO ARE NEW SCHOOL come in.  Drop your buffs!  Ben repeats, just to grate on my already bad nerves that "this is where the battle begins".  GRRRR.  

C'mon in Exile!  All of the OLD SCHOOL players hobble in and we have a bunch of blah blah blah shit about how hard it has been to stick it out.  Yea, talk to Natalie who has been there from day 1.  Jeff asks Rob if it's friggin romantic being on exile with Amber, which says a whole hell of a lot about Jeff's views on being romantic.  Trust me, that Pottstown Motel  experience told ME that.....  Rob says wtf dude, no it's terrible and my poor wife got sent here because of me.  Seriously, show of hands, how many of you still think being exiled in the luxury of your home with your spouse is "romantic"??  

So the battle to get back in involves an obstacle course, that whole make a long stick and get a key thing, digging up sandbags and finally the ol snake vertical snake puzzle.  The advantage they bought means their sandbags are laying on top of the sand, not buried.  I think only Parv, Yul, Amber and Danni don't have the advantage.  It's close and in the end it comes down to Rob and Tyson, and Tyson manages to win, complements to Jiff peanut butter!  Everyone goes back to Edge where they will wait one more chance to return and will also now become the first 7 members of the jury further screwing up my Alternate player scenario.  

Back at the merged camp there is a new menu of fire token prices and they have gone way up.  Tony only has one so he is very happy that the merge feast is free.  Sarah says the lines are now all blurred.  She asks what happened to Sandra and Denise tells her the story of the idols.  Sophie says it was like an old guy in a bar telling a war story of being the queen slayer, and that now Denise has a resume.  

Tyson says he is the only old school person, and he wonders if the young schoolers have changed the game too much for him to compete.  Says he'd get rid of himself on day 1. 

Adam is happy to have real shelter.  Wendell says he has Nick and MIchelle in his corner but he needs more numbers.He approaches Jeremy who says he is outside the game again.  They both agree that Sophie and Denise are really playing the game.  Jeremy wants to work with Wendell but not with Nick.  He wants to be Wendells's #1.  

Tyson tells Ben that he tried too hard earlier.  They agree on a strategy of Tyson, Ben, Jeremy and Tony.  Ben says the game is about big threats and little threats.  He says that having Jeremy and Tony is music to his ears.  He says "now it's time to get rid of all of the sleepers" and Tyson says that's music to his ears.  

It's raining and everyone is miserable.  Tyson, Nick and Wendell talk and Tyson says he's heard it's Denise.  Wendell says he wants to vote off people playing a winners game.  

Challenge: It's cold and wet and the girls are shivering in their bathing suits, which is strange because when we do the challenge they have all changed into their clothes.  Maybe they were keeping them dry.  Or the little Asian Survivor laundry lady was slow today with her delivery. 

Its the pole hug.  One man and one woman will get immunity and a fire token.  Denise and Jeremy win.  Saving Denise's ass,  

Jeremy says his plan is to get rid of Wendell's current BFF Nick so he can be his new BFF, but he doesn't want anyone to know that he organized it.  Ben, Tyson and Jeremy talk and Ben suggests Nick.  Tyson says he wants to get rid of the "lower people" to shield his ass and Ben says that Nick is getting on everyone's nerves.  

Jeremy suggests to Nick that it's Adam.  Ben tells a big group that it's between Nick or Wendell.  Sophie says she prefers Wendell because he and Jeremy are "bro-ing" out.  

Sophie says that the big guys are saying Wendell or Nick but that Jeremy is pushing Nick because he wants to align with Wendell.  Ben tells Jeremy that the group wants Wendell.  Jeremy says that's a BAD DECISION and he doesn't want that.  

Wendell tells Nick that it's Adam.  Jeremy also gets in on it and says "let's just all go Adam".  He then goes around to Sarah, Kim, Tony and Michelle and says "let's do Adam".  

Jeremy talks to Denise and asks Nick or Adam?  She says there is no ripple effect and she can go either way.  Although from day 1 she was in an alliance with Adam she says it may not be a day 31 alliance.  

Sophie talks to Adam and tells him it's not about him.  He says that no one hasn't told him the plan and he's scared.  He's also a pussy but that's for another day...

Tribal

Tyson says the game is now different and he doesn't want to go back to Exile.  He says he has tightened his filter

Sophie says he has come back with less baggage than the rest of them now have.

Tyson now says he has a strategic point of view not a personal one and that the dynamics have changed since the merge. 

Denise says this is a defining vote solidifying relationships, which I think shows how little she understands how fast shit is gonna flip flop to the end.  

Wendell isn't sure if it will be defining but it will tell some things.  He is hoping he has the right ears

Adam says the conversations are really brief and quick.  He wanted longer talks but no one was interested

Nick says that constantly double checking with people makes you look paranoid

Sophie says you have to be OK with not being in every conversation and not being constantly in the loop

Sarah says it takes a while to see if the name you've heard is the name.  

Jeremy says no one wants to throw names out (well, except him) 

Adam still isn't sure what is happening.  

Tony says he's just taking a "as long as it's not me and swimming with the current" attitude.

Vote.  

Any idols?  Nope.  

Adam gets 3 votes and Wendell is out with at least 8 votes.  Nick asks Michelle if she knew and she ways no.  Wendell gives MIchelle and Nick his tokens.  

Survivor: Yul be Sorry!

Welcome to the Survivor blog and boy does it feel weird to do something so ordinary as keep up with the update!  Just curious, anyone interested in a live zoom discussion of the season so far?  I'd be happy to use my mad new skilz and set it up!

We begin in Exile with all the famous gang together.  Parv is telling her pity story about her against one with no one to help her.  Pretty soon she'll blame her child for taking away her only means of game play- sex.   Sandra says she gave Denise her idol and she backstabbed her.  Everyone is all WHY DID YOU TRUST HER??? Parv asks how they are surviving and the group explains they get a little bit of rice every day and Sandra is like, NOPE.  I AM OUTTA HERE!!  I totally don't blame her for not sitting around for another 15 days eating a scoop of rice and doing ridiculous challenges just for a chance to go up against everyone in a physical challenge.  On the way out she exclaims GET DENISE FOR ME!! 

So, Da Queen is officially the first person out and Julia and Lori will now get Alternate 1, Kim.

On Blue Yul says tribal council sucked.  Wendell got into it with Parv and apparently said "make me an offer".  Yul isn't happy.  He talks to Wendell and either Wendell said nothing or it was edited to look like Wendell just sat there.  He does tell Yul, "I appreciate your honestly" which is pretty meaningless.  He also tries to apologize to Michelle who tells him it "created chaos", and they get into it because  he thinks she was "schooling him" in game play.  "Let me play my game".  Yul asks Michelle how her conversation went with him says his went fine.  "He's different with you".  Michelle says she thinks Wendell is convinced she is going to stay true to him but "I don't want to move forward with him".

Exile again.  Ethan is talking to Parv about how hard it is and how depressing to battle every day.  She points out how good it will feel when it's all over and he is done, says he has done worse.  He says that he wonders how his body will react to this level of stress, which is a legit question he should have asked months ago.  Parv says some weird shit about how great fasting is for you, which is some privileged girl shit NO POOR HUNGRY PERSON has ever said.  

They all get notes and they all have to open them together.  Says there are 4 fire tokens hidden and says follow the trails to the end and then look.  Everyone takes off, Rob bolts before people even finish reading.  Tyson thinks he can make up ground to the dead end and ends up with one token.  Nobody every finds the other BECAUSE  friggin Rob hustled his old fat ass up and around and found the other 3.  "I'm the best that's ever played!"

Red:  Everyone is sitting around watching Tony be a clown.  He says he is in a good position, close to Kim and Jeremy.  Says Denise did him a favor taking out Sandra and making herself a high profile target.  Jeremy says that Tony is still the biggest threat, not Denise.  

Jeremy asks Kim how she feels and she says nervous that they don't have a good merge plan.  She says she feels really good with this group, says she likes Tony but really likes Denise and Jeremy.  Says she likes being in charge of her fate. Kim and Denise say they need a plan.  Denise asks her how she feels about their 3 and she says good.  

Green:  The had so much PB&J that they are having leftovers.  But there is real tension.  Sophie says the boys gave no idea that she has an idol in her bag.  The boys meanwhile are "bickering like old ladies".  Adam says he doesn't have the idol and goes off to look for one.  Sarah says she's going to go pretend to look as well.  Adam thinks it's obvious that they are pretending.  He tells Sophie his spidey sense is going off and he thinks Sarah has the idol.   Sarah tells him he can go through her bag if he wants and he says she doesn't have to do that.  Adam ONCE AGAIN realizes he's stepped in shit and has to do more damage control.  

Challenge:  Jeff doesn't even mention Parv and Sandra were voted off.  The challenge is to carry a giant flat dish of water through and obs course, empty it into a vessel to fill the well, repeat as needed and them complete a puzzle.  2 tribes get immunity.  

The green tribe goes REALLLLLLY slowly while everyone else is spilling their water going fast.  It pays off because they only need to do it on time to fill their well.  The end up as the first team to finish.  It's between red and blue and Wendell takes the time to talk smack to the red team, and the challenge comes down to literally half a second, red wins sending them to tribal.  

Yul (and everyone) is mad that Wendell was showboating trash and dug his own grave.  

Back at green, Michelle apologizes for the loss.  Nick says he's mad about Wendell because he was busy talking trash and not doing the puzzle.  

Nick tells Yul they shouldn't be going to tribal.  Says Wendell should go but they're going to say Michelle.  Wendell talks to Michelle- "We together?"  He says Yul is coming after him so they should vote him out. Michelle says she'll do whatever he says.  Wendell is counting on her and Nick.  

Yul tells Michelle it's Wendell.  She says she's pissed about giving him her token and not being able to get it back.  Yul says he has a plan to backstab Wendell AND get her token back.  Nick thinks Yul is getting a bit nuts and siding with him might be dangerous.  Tells Michelle and she agrees.  He asks her if she is open to keeping Wendell and she says yes, if he feels strongly about it .  Michelle says she wants Wendell out for revenge but Yul makes more sense, then she congratulates herself on this most basic level of strategy and says it proves her first win was deserved.  Oh, gurl, you keep telling yourself that.  

Tribal

Jeff is smiling at them

Wendell says what?  It was not the best of days,  We were so close

Jeff asks if it changes the vote because it was so close?  Wendell says no, which is hilarious because he's not the one whose vote would change due to his fuck up

Jeff asks his prodding ISNT THE GAME NOW GREAT questions about how the game has EVOLVED and grown SO MUCH. 

Yul says it's true because he has had to lie so much this time around.  You have to vote someone out BUT make them like you enough to give you their fire tokens.  IT ADDS ANOTHER LAYER JEFF. Then he goes on this epic marketing consultant BULLSHIT rant about how the it's not a "fire token market economy to align incentives".  And right then, I WANTED HIS BUSINESS SCHOOL ASS TO GO TO EXILE.  Says if you want to do something risky you can offer someone a token to make it "palatable".  

Jeff asks if that means you have to lie

Wendell says you have to find people to trust

Jeff asks Nick if that means pre-existing relationships are important and Yul jumps in again to say yes because there is only a finite time to get to know people, build trust and strategize.  

Jeff points out that Wendell and Michelle have a relationship.

Wendell basically says that since he has had sex with her (because lets be clear they did not have many deep conversations with each other) it doesn't mean he wants to go to the end with her.  He wants people to help ME go to the end.  

Michelle rolls her eyes and says Wendell has made it clear that he's here for himself only and the pre existing relationship is meaningless (as was the sex gurl) She ways "me and Wendell are not lovers Wendell says he does care for her and her future (without him obv)

Nick says the person going to exile today without any burned bridges.  Says this is my final 4 and I would welcome the person back to work with them again

Wendell says that might be difficult for him since they'd have lied to him if he went tonight

Yul is like, what?  He says he'd be bitter but he'd like the option open because it might be his only one.  

Jeff says WOW, that's tough

Michelle says she loves all of the boys but it's the game.  

Time to vote!  And idols?  nope.

Wendell gets 1 vote and Yul is off to exile!  

Yul says good one guys!  Michelle tells Wendell she liked seeing him shaking in his boots.  

Tokens go to Sarah and Sophie.

Best Survivor Ever!!

Hello fellow coronavivors!  Hope you are safe and well.  I have to say this was one of my favorite episodes as all the Queens joined Boston Rob over on Edge-which is about to become the Lord of the Flies, if everyone else figures out the whole fire token thing!  

Ben is celebrating the removal of BR.  LETS HAVE A PARTY!!!  Ben says Rob had a lack of respect for everyone else, and he thinks he is showing people he can change his game.  He's also feeling closer to Sophie and Sarah than to Adam.  Adam is happy BR is gone BUT he feels nervous that the other 3 seem to have a stronger connection to each other and to the rest of the game than he does.  He thinks it was better with Rob.  

On Exile, that there is "something hidden for a chance to win a fire token, says something about "more rocks to turn over".  Everyone starts running around looking under rocks.  BR and Amber are convinced it's at the cliff so they run there.  Tyson sees that the clue also says you have to be "at the right place at the right time" and figures it has something to do with tides and tide pools.  Just as he sees the clue, Rob shows up so Tyson turns around and pretends to pee.  It's a fire token via selling an idol nullifier.  He sends it to Parv who jumps right on it.  Tyson uses his fire token to buy a secret jar of peanut bar which will give him energy and "an extra thrill" for getting away with something secret.

Challenge, and Jeff announces that Rob is out.  OOOOOOOHHHHHHH.  Biggest reaction ever!  

This challenge is for ONE immunity and reward of peanut butter and the other 2 tribes go to tribal.  The challenge is : swim to boats, 1 person in, the rest out and the rice bags inside are thrown over to the others.  The rice bags are taken to a gate and have to be pushed through a little hole, kinda like childbirth, Bags are knife open and balls are inside. The balls are used for a ball maze.  

Green tribe wins, sending everyone else to tribal.  

On blue, Parv is sad because she doesn't have the numbers.  Nick, Wendell and Yul agree that it's Parv.  Nick is bummed that his masturbation idol has to go but that's what everyone wants.  

Parv tells Michelle that Wendell wants her to go.  Michelle suggests they try to find the cracks but secretly she doesn't think it will work.  Wonders if to show her loyalty, which  makes no sense to me OR him.  Says then he'll have 2 votes!  She asks him what she can do and then gets pissed off when he doesn't trust her, and says this is JUST LIKE when he burned her in love.  LOL.  OMG these two have nothing in common and no communication skills!!  Chick, IT WAS JUST SEX!!!  There was no love involved!!

Wendell approaches Parv and says we are just targeting each other and canceling our votes out.  He asks her what they can do and she'll all "I don't know, what are you thinking?  He suggests NIck or Yul.  He says "give me 2 fire tokens to prove to me you are honest".  Parv gets all she needs and runs around telling everyone he tried to sell her his votes for 2 fire tokens.  Nick is mad because "we talked about going to the end together".  Michelle tells Nick that Wendell isn't listening to her,  and wonders who the bigger threat is, Wendell of Parv.  Nick's dick says hmmmm, maybe we keep Parv....

Over on red, everyone is SORRY about losing.  Sandra says the bread was probably stale anyway.  Tony ramp up his paranoia and decides it's time for the SPY SHACK.  He puts it by the watering hole and just sits there.  Everyone is finally WHERE IS TONY???  Jeremy asks Sandra what her preference is, and she doesn't answer.  "So, original tribe?" Yep.  

Denise approaches Sandra and asks  how solid they all are.  Sandra suggests they talk somewhere else.  She, Denise and Kim talk and Denise asks how solid they are.  Sandra says they are solid because they have the numbers.  She also says that Denise is a wonderful person.  Denise thinks Sandra thinks she is in charge to she tries to play it humbly and plead for then to go with Jeremy.  

Kim is still all WHERE IS TONY? Sandra tells her to be careful where they talk and says not to talk at the water well.  Kim starts wondering if Tony is stupid enough for another spy shack.  Jeremy joins in and wonders why everyone is scrambling.  As they are walking Tony pops out of his spy shack and meets Kim and Sandra.  He's totally freaking out about being so close to being caught.  

Jeremy asks Tony about going with Denise.  Says they got rid of the biggest shield with Rob before the merge so they might want to keep him as one.  Sandra says that Tony is pushing Denise to go.  She says she has other people because only Tony will benefit from keeping Jeremy.  

Denise is sitting in the shelter and Sandra is standing by her talking to her.  Sandra tells her to give her 2 fire tokens and I'll give you immunity.  She says Tony is paranoid and messing with her game so she'll give her and idol.....and Kim walks up and they pretend to be talking about ice cream.  "I'll give you cookies and cream....."   Denise asks what's in it for her and Sandra says she gets to stay in and her hands are clean.  She tells Denise i'll give you one now and one after the vote.  Denise "I've never had power before in a game",

Tribal

Wendell says he'll do whatever, he'll stab anyone

Nick says it's a different game this time.

Michelle points out that different people played different games before and are trying to adjust

Parv, the ultimate black widow killer, says she just wants to  work with "fun people".

Wendell says he's just trying to be real about what he could do if necessary

Parv says he is probably talking about stabbing Michelle

Michelle says she and Wendell have a different style of communication, not all cushy.  LOL.  

Parv says she has difficulty talking to Wendell

Wendell says he just thought people appreciated honesty

Parv says Wendell promised her he'd give her his vote for 2 fire tokens

Wendell says nobody knows whether or not they have any value so he was just joking.  He then says that the current deal is still on the table

Parv-you want to do something with me?

Wendell-what do you want me to  do?

Parv SAY A NAME

Wendell says he gave her everything and she gave him nothing

Yul says this is like watching his parents fight and says he thought they already had a plan

Michelle says she is distressed because these are 4 people she loves.  OH COME OH GURL, WAKE UP

Nick says it's called winners AT WAR.  Grow a backbone!!

Vote.  Any idols?  Nope.  And BAM, Parv is gone.  

Michelle gets the fire token

Tribal 2

Kim says the theme of this season is "threats vs non threats"

Sandra says some know they are threats, some aren't.  Says Denise is not a threat

Denise says Is that a complement?? We are all threats for different reasons.  The issue is what threat is targeted tonight

Jeremy says Denise is one option. Says it's a 3/2 split so it's a numbers game

Tony says we know it's not just a numbers game, we're seasoned players

Jeremy says he loves Denise but they need to stay strong

Denise says she knows she is not a challenge beast but strong with relationships

Jeremy says he's nervous

Sandra says "do the smart players exploit the numbers?  Yes."

Time to vote.

Idols?  Denise says, can you give me a minute Jeff?  Everyone is like whaaaaat??  I found something today.  Jeff affirms it is an idol.  She says she'd like to play it for herself.  Denise then says, can I have another minute Jeff?  I'd like to play THIS OTHER IDOL for Jeremy!  WOOOFREAKINGHOOOOO

Let me read the votes......

Denise gets 4 votes, and SANDRA THE QUEEN GOES HOME WITH ONE VOTE.  GREATEST BLINDSIDE IN SURVIVOR HISTORY!!!!!!!

Kim says, I AM SO IMPRESSED

Tony says HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE???

Sandra-Day 16 got me again!!

Sandra gives her token to Yul.  

Survivor Buddy System?

Welcome to Survivor: Home Edition.  Hope you are all doing well and staying safe.  I am about 3 days from handing out buffs to my husband and I and having competitions to see who is immune from elimination.  I think I have him beat on the "switch from the tv to the dvd input and play a disc" challenge.  

So, seriously was last week's episode delicious or what????  

Nick is all happy because they got rid of Tyson AND he got a fire token.  With Tyson just on exile, Nick now thinks they might get back together, bond and play nice in the sandbox.  Yea, when YOUR ASS is also on exile that might happen dude.  

Yul gives a public service announcement that Jonathan Penner's wife has ALS and is has lost use of her muscles.  It's really sad and Jesus I worry about people like this with the virus. He tells Sarah who thinks it's very sad.  Yul says he needs financial aid and he's playing for something bigger than himself, gives an ALS awareness speech and later the show has a link to help the family.  It was very touching and, lets be real, very staged.  Sarah says he's a good person.  

And now DROP YOUR BUFFS time.  Just once I want one of these skinny bitches to be strutting around wearing the tiny buff around their tits as a tube top to get caught and have to drop it.  Jeff points out that Tyson has also been voted off and BR is like OMGAWD.  Yea, that's gonna be an expensive poker game dude.  BR says he doesn't like the tribe switching part of the new game.  

We are now in 3 tribes:

Red: Jeremy and Denise, and Sandra, Kim and Tony (Sandra likes this as a time to get people out)

Blue: MIchelle, Wendell (who apparently dated), Yul, Parv and Nick

Green: Rob, Ben, Adam, Sarah and Sophie

I think they are almost all 2/3 split teams.  

Adam is not thrilled to be with Rob and Ben since all 3 have basically stabbed each other in the back.  

On the new Red beach everyone is amazed at the campsite Wendell build.  Jeremy tells Denise they are the Jeffersons "movin on up".  He immediately goes about figuring out who is on the outs.  Kim is pretty eager to talk with him.  He asks her if the swap is a good thing and she ways :maybe" but that she has to be careful. Kim and Denise tell each other they'd love to work together.  

Tony tells Sandra that they with Kim are like Lions to be taken out by Hyenas.  Says that they have to be careful and that Kim is in the middle.  Says if they are loyal they are in good shape but Kim's not sure that's the best option.  

On blue Wendell is a bit taken aback at how shitty their shelter is.  He says he has work to do!  Nick is happy since Yul and Wendell were his pals before.  Parv is trying to find a way in with them and is excited to hear that Yul's wife loves her.  

Nick confesses to Parv that she was his HS crush and she's like that was awkward.  And probably involved far too many Kleenexes.  

Michelle and Wendell apparently dated and it did not end well.  Parv asks him what his story is and he says he makes furniture and moves slowly.  

Michelle and Wendell have an incredibly uncomfortable conversation where you think she is literally waiting still for an apology that ain't coming.  He's all, what?  We kicked it and had fun. Yea, I don't think that's the way she remember it bro.  

On green, they have nothing.  Ben says the boyz should all be sitting pretty as the 3/2 split favors them but there's a lot of bad blood.  Rob asks if Amber was unanimously voted out and they tell him yes and that Tyson put her name out there.  Rob asks if anyone had any idols? and Sarah and Sophie both say nope.  They ask if Ethan was a unanimous vote and Ben tells them that it came down to Adam or Ethan.  

Sarah tells Sophie that you can feel the tension and wonders if either of them are free agents.  She talks to Ben and Sophie talks to Adam.  Each one tells a different story about what is going down.  Sophie says that there are cracks up the waz with these 3.  

Everyone decides there must be a new idol.  They divide boys and girls and go looking.  BR also hates this part of Survivor and has no idea where to even look.  He says he's not usually in this spot without answers.  

Sophie finds the idol and shoves it into her crotch.  EVERYONE EMPTY THEIR POCKETS.  She keeps it hidden and then reads that it's the 2 part idol.  She tells Sarah and gives her the other half.  Sarah already told her about her save a vote idol, so they are kinda maybe bonding.  

Challenge:  Obstacle, throw sandbags at blocks stacked up on a ledge, puzzle.

Blue and red win immunity, green goes to tribal.  Rob says they have expendable numbers so it's not a big deal.  Once back at camp the boys leave in a group.  Sophie and Sarah feel good about Adam and Ben.  The bros all promise to not write each other's names down.  They decide that Sophie is more of a challenge asset so, Sarah then?  Rob declares that they have to all stay in camp together all day, nobody can leave.  It's Rob's "buddy system".  Rob says he feels like he's bringing the game back in his direction.  

Adam says it;s boring and there's no "game play".  Ben thinks rob is a control freak.  He has a decision to make and has to trust his gut since they can't talk.  

Sarah says that Rob is really a negative person.  It's the buddy system on steroids.  The girls go for water.  Sophie says that Rob is an asshole.  Sarah says she has a steal a vote but she really wants to save it.  Sophie never thought at this point in the game it would all come down to trusting strangers.  

Tribal

Sophie says that this game is like playing with mob families because there are so many interlinked alliances and fluidity about the game.  

Adam says that nothing is ever solid.  No one is playing themself out of the game, everyone is playing well.

Ben says everyone knows not to poke the bear.

Rob is like whaaaa?

Jeff asks if there are cracks

Sarah says the crack was 7 words long because that's all she got all day.

Sophie explains that the boys went to the well and then came back in lock step and a command was given down. She says she's not looking for cracks-they're not invaders, but that they are looking to build real alliances. 

Sarah agrees and says they'll work with them

Ben says he's never been in a situation like this with 2 easy votes and nobody talked strategy.

Rob says sometimes less is more

Sophie says it's scary because Rob has won by corralling people around him and it's a proven strategy being used again.

Rob says that people working together works.  

Time to vote!  Any idols??  Nope.

One vote for Sarah and the rest goes to Rob!!!!!  Woo hoo!!!!!  He gives his fire token to Parv.